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Burglar

Posted: Thu, 5th Aug 2004, 10:37am

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Evman

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This is a short film that "Mister Pencil" and I made on an afternoon. We were going to plan out some stuff for our feature, but we got bored of that, and wanted to shoot something else besides our feature. We made this in hopes of making a not "silly" movie. This is our attempt to do a short "thriller". We hope that you like it.

Special thanks to Sharp for a lot of the sound bits and music.


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Posted: Thu, 5th Aug 2004, 10:51am

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Waser

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I guess that was kind of thrilling...kind of.

The part where you see the guy upstairs did uprsie something in my, like that feeling where you jump att a scary moment in a movie, but divided by about 20. other than that, I wasn't thrilled. The music fit really well though. Where'd you get it from?

Also, even though you said it wasn't a "silly" movie, I thought the sign "Hungry? Eat toast!" or something like that screamed silly.

This is actually pretty good for a movie in the "I/We got bored so we made a movie" category.

Oh and also, this movie made me really want some toast. It's almost 5 AM and I have work soon, but dammit, I'm not going to bed till I get toast!

UPDATE: it's 5:09 and I can't find any bread......damn you
UPDATE: it's 5:11 and I found the bread....it was in the fridge
UPDATE: it's 5:16 and the bread is now toast..I am proceeding to put honey on the toast. Stay tuned.
UPDATE: it's 5:18 and I just finished the toast. Hot DAMN that was some good toast. Bless you, evman101 and Mister pencil, blessing to the both of you!....Holy crap I should go to bed
Posted: Thu, 5th Aug 2004, 3:42pm

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Evman

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lol. You are welcome for the grand toast idea. Yeah, i have to admit, the eat toast sign wasn't my idea, and mostly anything Mister Pencil says or does is funny. So. You know. wink

P.S. - Most music was from Sharp, as mentioned before. Thanks again! The other thing was from the Matrix Revolutions soundtrack. During the part where I am walking up the stairs.
Posted: Thu, 5th Aug 2004, 3:51pm

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Serpent

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Ok, I liked that, evman, you are improving a lot since some of your earlier movies. The toast thing, when it popped with a loud noise was the only thing that really scared me. I'm gona give it a 4. I need to start making shorts to display my improvements, get ready for one soon.
Posted: Thu, 5th Aug 2004, 3:55pm

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Evman

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cool. cant wait to watch them. Thanks for the feedback.

EDIT: Oh yeah, did anyone find the cinematography to be interesting?
Posted: Thu, 5th Aug 2004, 4:05pm

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Serpent

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That's the main thing I noticed actually. Like at the end, where it's zooming out, and stuff like that.
Posted: Thu, 5th Aug 2004, 4:35pm

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Mr Pencil

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evman101 wrote:

Yeah, i have to admit, the eat toast sign wasn't my idea, and mostly anything Mister Pencil says or does is funny. So. You know.
That sign wasn't supposed to be funny, but whatever. Thanks for saying I'm funny, I'm not really, I just watch a lot of television. But I'm glad that a simple sign can influence someone so greatly (By eating toast).

Yes, we're currently thinking of next year's feature from De-Evolution Studios and so far it's a thriller in which people die... and stuff. Maybe it will be finished by next year. But yes, as we progress in time, our "things" (or I call them "movies") get a little more advanced.

Last edited Thu, 5th Aug 2004, 8:07pm; edited 1 times in total.

Posted: Thu, 5th Aug 2004, 7:59pm

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Evman

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key word: "little"

Any more comments?
Posted: Fri, 6th Aug 2004, 1:12am

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Wicked4u2c

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evman101 wrote:

cool. cant wait to watch them. Thanks for the feedback.

EDIT: Oh yeah, did anyone find the cinematography to be interesting?
Nice movie, it was a bit bland at the end maybe you were tired but I see this a lot in movies here. They build up the momment but its like you want to finish the project so bad that you just half a$$ the rest of the film just to end it. I like the movie a lot, I notice your cinematography style is good, but you really need to invest on a stabalizer. If you got one of those it would of added another point to my grading. I liked the movie, it sure was building up to something but the end was just not there. Good Job though! 3/5 I would of gave you a 4 of the shots were a bit smoother and stable, work on that and your next film should be great! wink
Posted: Fri, 6th Aug 2004, 1:33am

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Evman

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i actually planned it out the night before. The idea came from me emptying the contents of my pockets onto the dresser, just like in the movie, and looking into the reflection of the picture. I had just seen The Village, and was in the mood for a thriller. I thought "man that would be a cool shot."

Yeah. Looks like we are going to need a stabalizer Lou... confused
Posted: Fri, 6th Aug 2004, 2:16am

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Mr Pencil

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Yeah, stabalizers are really awesome. When I was on the set of the Ryan Seacrest show (before it was cancelled*) I saw it and went, man, how does that guy hold something so heavy? But yes, our shots are shaky, we'll work on them. Thanks!

*Actually, one of the tapings we stayed for was supposed to be aired today!
Posted: Fri, 6th Aug 2004, 10:24am

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Sarkilas

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It was good, but some of the camera work was bad. And the ending sucked. You made me excited when I watched it, keep it up.


A 4 from me! wink
Posted: Fri, 6th Aug 2004, 3:33pm

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Evman

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thanks. Now we definately need to get a stabalizer. sad
Posted: Fri, 6th Aug 2004, 4:11pm

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Mr Pencil

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That, or fire the cameraman...Oh wait, that was me.
Posted: Fri, 6th Aug 2004, 4:53pm

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Evman

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heh
Posted: Fri, 6th Aug 2004, 6:49pm

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Sarkilas

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evman101 wrote:

thanks. Now we definately need to get a stabalizer. sad
Yep, you do need. I have one, but I still get some bad shots biggrin
Posted: Sun, 8th Aug 2004, 3:07am

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Evman

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im not sure whether to buy or make one. our skills with metal and power tools are laughable.
Posted: Sun, 8th Aug 2004, 3:12am

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Serpent

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Have a parent help.
Posted: Sun, 8th Aug 2004, 4:31am

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Gibs

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To tell the truth, I didn't think this was all that good. You had some interesting shots, like the angle showing the bread with the "make toast" sign at the beginning, and the zoom in on the guy's face when he heard the burglar make noise upstairs. But the editing wasn't very good in my opinion. There were a lot of long, boring shots, and i noticed the non-burglar suppress a smile a few times as well.

I also didn't feel any suspense throughout this, and I think it was due to a lack of music. The tones you put in at the suspenseful parts worked out okay, but I think it would have been better if there was a continuous soundtrack.

And no offense, but the fight at the end was pathetic. I don't need to explain why, I think, but it just didn't look good at all. However, the non-burglar did a good job acting-wise when the burglar showed himself, and I liked how the burglar's hand shook in the gun; it showed a bit of hesitation, like he didn't want to be doing this. Oh, and I liked the ending shots where each shot was further away from the house.

I think this could have been pretty good, but the slow pace of the movie really killed any suspense for me.
Posted: Sun, 8th Aug 2004, 4:54am

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Evman

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finally.

this is what i was waiting for biggrin . a lot of negative criticisms. thanks. ill keep all this in mind.
Posted: Thu, 19th Aug 2004, 3:23am

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Mr Pencil

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Yeah, this could have been pretty good. But I don't think that we're going to pull a George Lucas (G.La as i call him) and make a re-make though. Becuase that's cruel.

Yeah, thanks for telling us about what you honestly thought about the movie though. That can only make us better people.

Fredrick Douglass wrote:

Without mistakes, there can be no progress.
Posted: Thu, 19th Aug 2004, 3:37am

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Waser

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Rating: +1

Mister Pencil wrote:

Yeah, this could have been pretty good. But I don't think that we're going to pull a George Lucas (G.La as i call him) and make a re-make though. Becuase that's cruel.
Well, if you wanted to pull a G.La, you would just have to add a bunch of people in the backround walking around, and at one point you would have to walk by a giant CG animal and scare it so it flails around, showing off the CG. I'm done