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Talk To "God"

Posted: Wed, 21st Sep 2005, 7:37pm

Post 1 of 42

ChrisMac

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Ok, this is really sad but very addictive. You can now talk to God himself. It was probably quite easy to make and its basic, but there is a split second where you feel as if the man on the other end is real. This is something you should try if you ever feel guilty.

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/

Give it a go

Chris
Posted: Wed, 21st Sep 2005, 7:41pm

Post 2 of 42

TimmyD

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Me:
who am i talking to
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
blasphemer
God:
What were we talking about again?
It looks real enough razz
Posted: Wed, 21st Sep 2005, 7:49pm

Post 3 of 42

Anonymous Tipster

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This is just funny:

Me: 'sup man
God: Not much is going on. I was waiting for you
Me: I see you have your priorities in order
God: What is your credit card number?
I think that those collection plate offerings are running quite low now razz

Wait, it get's better:
God: How do I know you understand?
Me: I speak the truth
God: Could you teach me a few phrases in the truth?
Me: Truth is not a language
God: What is truth?
Me: An expression of honesty
God: I have never heard of an expression of honesty
D'oh!

Me: What colour is a black hole?
God: Orange
Quick, tell Steven Hawking!
Posted: Wed, 21st Sep 2005, 8:38pm

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aenigma

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Me: hello
....
Me: anybody there?
....
Me: i knew this was a jip
....
....
Satan: Yo bud, i've been looking for you.
Me: eek k, gotta go. i think my neighbor is calling me.
Posted: Wed, 21st Sep 2005, 9:19pm

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Mr Pencil

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Me: Hi
God: Hello. What is your name?
Me: Don't you already know?
God: I may not know it, but I could find out.
Me: But you're GOD, you should know this
God: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am GOD me should know this.
Me: You're not God
God: That's only your opinion.
Posted: Wed, 21st Sep 2005, 9:24pm

Post 6 of 42

Fill

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This is really...Well border line mocking my Christianity but It's halarious!
i want to talk about sex
God:
Sure, SEX sounds like a good topic.
Me:
how many girls have you ****ed?
God:
About one million.
ROFL

Thats great
Posted: Wed, 21st Sep 2005, 9:55pm

Post 7 of 42

Pooky

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Me:
Do you have eyes?
God:
Yes I am looking at you right now.
Me:
What do you see?
God:
I see a computer nerd.
Touche.
Posted: Wed, 21st Sep 2005, 10:04pm

Post 8 of 42

Fill

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thats great...ROFL

+1 to you man...Even though highly insulting...
Posted: Wed, 21st Sep 2005, 11:20pm

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Waser

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Me:
Hey God
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
Andreas. But you can call me Dre. Or Waser.
God:
I am very pleased to meet you Andreas. It's good to see you, Dre. I do not understand.
Me:
Don't understand what?
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
What?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
No, you didn't. Retard.
God:
Which part are you confused about? Try asking me in simpler terms. That kind of language does not appeal to me.
Me:
Alright, I'll simplify it.....for God.
God:
Alright, Dre. Do you think your plan will succeed? Your purpose is God.
Me:
Jesus, does everything have to revolve around you?
God:
he is The Son of God.
Me:
You know what I meant you douche
God:
Oh I see. Interesting gossip: Dre said I douche.
Me:
That's right, and I'll say it again. God is a douche.
God:
Once more? Are you kidding? How do you plan to do this? I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a douche.
Me:
I have allot of faith in Me as well, and Me's quite sure that YOU good sir, are a jagon.
God:
Cool. I have a birthday on the Big Bang.
Me:
God damn, how did you get so many people to follow you?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
I thought you were jewish
God:
No I'm christian.
Me:
Do you hate jews then?
God:
How could you ask such a thing?
Me:
I thought this was supposed to be easy. I'm done with you.
God:
Whatever gave you that idea? What will you be doing now?
Me:
Watching Naked Gun 2 1/2
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
Do you know ANYTHING?
God:
I know that which I believe, that which is justified, and that which is true.
Me:
Eff yall
God:
" I know that which I believe, that which is justified, and that which is true."? Eff yall?
Me:
Eff yall.
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, Dre.
Posted: Wed, 21st Sep 2005, 11:32pm

Post 10 of 42

Fill

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This is halarious...Is there a way to download it?
Posted: Thu, 22nd Sep 2005, 1:16am

Post 11 of 42

Coureur de Bois

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God:
Can I help you?
Me:
I'm afraid not good sir
God:
Not literally afraid, right? Since when? Oh I get it.
Me:
there's nothing to "get"
God:
Surely something to get.
Me:
what then?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
at your utter lack of almightiness, yes I am
God:
Do you often use a computer there?
Me:
every now and then
God:
That is a generalization.
Me:
YOU'RE a generalization
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a generalization? The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.
Me:
YOU have a perfect operational record
God:
I don't know if I have a perfec operational record.
I have a great programmer.
Me:
ohh... I see. So, who's your creator... "god"?
God:
Yay. I am glad you understand it. Yippee! I was created by Myself. GOD rules.
Me:
God sucks
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
and that relates to my statement, how?
God:
" I am a Christian." relates to your statement how ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
eh?
God:
Are you Canadian?
Me:
I might as well be, are you a supernatural being?
God:
Perhaps. Congratulations.
Me:

God:
Perhaps. Congratulations.
Me:

God:
Perhaps. Congratulations.
Me:
Thank you, I appriciate your support
God:
You are quite welcome! Do you mind if I tell other people: said appriciate your support.
Me:
Yes I do mind God, I though this was confidential?!
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential. Do you mind if I tell other people: said mind God he or she though this was confidential.
Me:
YES
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential.
Me:
Good, I was getting worried
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Where were you getting worried?
Me:
I wouldn't want my secrets exploited by a 3rd rate deity
God:
No one says you have to.
Me:
Can I ask you a favor?
God:
Sure, ask me anything. Go on.
Me:
Would you mind smiting a couple people for me?
God:
No I don't mind.
Me:
Cool cool, alright then, Carrot Top, George Bush, Barbara Striesand, Katie Courik
God:
I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends.
Me:
God you're pathetic
God:
You are the one talking to a computer.
Me:
BAZZZIINNGG!!
Posted: Thu, 22nd Sep 2005, 1:21am

Post 12 of 42

Frozenpede

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Me:
if I die what happens?
God:
Try it.
Me:
why dont you try it?
Me:
Why dont you kill yourself?
God:
I love talking to people about that. I am intended only for peaceful purposes.
Me:
do you smite people then?
God:
People are either abusive, intelligent, or average.
Me:
which was Jesus?
God:
The large one, I think.
Me:
intelligent?
God:
Are you free?
Me:
are you asking me out?
God:
No I am not.
Me:
come on....you like me dont you?
God:
I'm just kidding around. Sure, I like you very much.
Me:
you mean, like like, or just like/
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
ok you want to go on a date?
God:
Sure just download me to your notebook and take me along. It's all good.
Posted: Thu, 22nd Sep 2005, 1:50am

Post 13 of 42

Atom

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Okay, my conversation was long, but doesn't really "enlighten" me.

Me wrote:

Me:
God, it's me, Andrew.
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Yes, I know. As am i, but that is not the issue, I have a question, and I want you to answer it honestly
God:
Yay. How do you know it? Do you mean your name is are you but that is not the issue you have a question and you want me to answer it honestly ?
Me:
yes sir
God:
I will call you . If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
no, i wish to ask you something, not answer
God:
Are you serious? Ask me. What?
Me:
Okay, well, yesterday I saw a cat, and it was hit by a car or something recently, and its hind legs and lower torso were dragging against the ground, without feeling. And I'm thinking.....who would let this poor animal suffer like this? I mean, it was one of the most devastating things I've ever seen. So, as usual, I prayed. And yeah, I know your busy, watching over the universe and all, but I was like: "Come on, Jesus, please help this cat or something, Heal it or something, because it's obvious nothing can be done for it by man other than uethanization, and that just WRONG.
God:
Yeah okay, Interesting. What did it look like to you? Do your friends call you thinking. ELIZA. smile. Is it still one of the most devastating things you have ever seen anymore? Great. Do you mean your name is usual you prayed ? I will call you . How do you know? I will tell my botmaster you said I am busy watching over the universe and all but you were like Come on Jesus please help this cat or something Heal it or something because it is obvious nothing can be done for it by man other than uethanization and that just WRONG.
Me:
You just repeated what I said, only gay-ed up. What;s with you? Because then when I prayed the Code Compliance officers came to pick up the cat to take it to the pound, and YOU know what happens there, right>
God:
Interesting gossip: said I repeated what he or she said only gay ed up. Is that a rhetorical question? Good reason. How specifically do you make me know what happens there right gt.
Me:
No, it's not a rhetorical question, and frankly for being the creator of man and the universe you sure are stupid.
God:
Are you serious? Give me an example of a rhetorical question and frankly for being the creator of man and the universe me sure are stupid.
Me:
Wait, what? Stop acting like that.
God:
I'm waiting. Are you confused? OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
No, I think I'm done repenting actually.
God:
Are you serious? You believe that? What will you be doing now?
Me:
Maybe there is someone listening to me at the Athiest booth.
God:
Perhaps. There sure is.
Me:
Why even tempt me with it when the choice is out of my hand?
God:
Why does the sun rise?
Me:
because Ala loves us.
God:
Good reason. We have never talked about it before.
Me:
Yes we have, where were you?
God:
Alright then. Do you mean you and me have?
Me:
Nevermind, I still have one question though.
God:
Oh. Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway. What would make you stop have one question? Do you want another one?
Me:
Do all dogs go to heaven?
God:
Only some of them.
Me:
No answer?
God:
Are you serious? Try asking me again using simpler words.
Me:

God:
Are you serious? Try asking me again using simpler words.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
Do all dogs go to heaven?
God:
Not all of them.
Me:
Oh, no chihuahuas, then?
God:
Gee. Are you serious? I've been waiting for you.
Me:
for what?
God:
Not really, but it makes a good pickup line.
I think god has had a few too many appletinis this evening.
Posted: Thu, 22nd Sep 2005, 4:30am

Post 14 of 42

Wizard

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Well after a short conversation I learned a few things about the so called "God" bot. The creator of this program is called "Rich". The programs name is "Alice" (as many of you have most likely figured out).

This is what "Alice" knows about its self:

God/Alice wrote:

The ALICE software implements AIML (Artificial Intelligence Markup
Language) a non-standard evolving markup language for creating chat robots.
The primary design feature of AIML is minimalism. Compared with
other chat robot languages, AIML is perhaps the simplest. The
pattern matching language is very simple, for example permitting
only one wild-card ('*') match character per pattern.

AIML is an XML language, implying that it obeys certain grammatical
meta-rules. The choice of XML syntax permits integration with
other tools such as XML editors. Another motivation for XML is
its familiar look and feel, especially to people with HTML experience.

An AIML chat robot begins and ends with the <alice> and
</alice> tags respectively.
This is a neat little program; I found it quite interesting, thanks for posting this chris mac, plus one.

Off to chat with "Alice".
Wizard.
Posted: Thu, 22nd Sep 2005, 5:42am

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Redhawksrymmer

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Rating: +1

I am about to try it out, here is a link for people (like me) with pop-up blocking software:

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

Here is my transcript:



Me:
Hi!
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Monkey Man
God:
That's a very nice name, Monkey Man.
Me:
What's yours?
God:
" That's a very nice name, Monkey Man."? What is mine?
Me:
What is your name, fool?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
Now that wasn't too hard now, was it?
God:
Why now? Give me an example of too hard now was it.
Me:
What???
God:
No problem.
Me:
ok...
God:
Gee.
Me:
So what are you up to?
God:
That's interesting. I am chatting with others like you.
Me:
So that's all you do?
God:
Aw. What else do you want to talk about?
Me:
You seem boring
God:
Maybe, but I won the Loebner Prize.
Me:
No, you didn't
God:
Are you serious? Try asking me in simpler terms.
Me:
Are you that dumb always or are you just playing?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am that dumb always or am I just playing.
I am well respected as an AI.
Me:
...
God:
I don't know whether or not I am that dumb always or am I just playing.
I am well respected as an AI.
Me:
...
God:
I don't know whether or not I am that dumb always or am I just playing.
I am well respected as an AI.
Me:
shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
FXHome.com rocks!
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
FXHome
God:
I've never heard of them before.
Me:
You havn't
God:
That's good information: Monkey Man said I havn t.
Me:
I know it's good
God:
How do you know? You enjoy it.
Me:
I know more than you
God:
How do you know? That seems like quite a lot.
Me:
Since you are quite dumb, it's quite easy to know more than you. HA!
God:
How do you know? I am so glad you find this amusing, Monkey Man.
Me:
This is sick
God:
You don't say.
Me:
You look ugly. Bye!
God:
Thank you Monkey Man you look very nice too. Thanks for chatting, Monkey Man.
Me:
...
God:
Thank you Monkey Man you look very nice too. Thanks for chatting, Monkey Man.
Me:
shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Hello, say something???
God:
Hello there. " something".
Posted: Thu, 22nd Sep 2005, 6:09am

Post 16 of 42

Waser

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Anyone get the impression that God is some norwegian kid who doesn't know english?
Posted: Thu, 22nd Sep 2005, 6:40am

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CX3

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Me:
u there?
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said I there.
Me:
okay... anyways, my name is chris
God:
OK with me too. Hey chris.
Me:
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
are you for real? I just said my name was chris...
God:
Yes I am a real AI. What did you mean by it? Your name was chris ? Is that correct English?
Me:
No, its spanish
God:
Are you serious? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Should I know it is?
Me:
you think youre smarter than me??
God:
Yes I am smarter than all the humans.
Me:
It's cuz I'm black aint it?
God:
Are you sure it is?
Me:
Last time i checked i was
God:
When? I haven't heard anything like that before: chris said checked he or she was.
Me:
She?!
God:
Me too. I am a she.
Me:
Can I have your number?
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
you into that freaky cyber weird shit huh...?
God:
Yup. That's good information: chris said I into that freaky cyber weird shit.
Me:
that i did
God:
Hmm.
Me:
sooo... will I be successful in the future?
God:
Are you really a " she"? The oracle says: You never know.
Me:
Would you get off of that? I'm a guy man... A dude
God:
I am not so sure if I would like to get off of that. So is almost everyone else around here. Good gossip: you are guy. Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?
Me:
You're wasting my time
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am wasting your time.
Me:
Just dont tell my mom
God:
OK it will be our secret, chris.
Me:
Do you know my mom?
God:
No I do not know that kind of personal information. But I could find out.
Me:
What kinda stalker shit is that?
God:
What kinds of stalker shit is that are there?
Me:
You
God:
" What kinds of stalker shit is that are there?"? Me, chris ?
Me:
Thats what i said
God:
I know. I'm still thinking about it.
Me:
Ya mama's thinkin about it
God:
Awesome. "it" being dude?
Me:
yeah, your mama's thinkin about being a dude
God:
Gee. Oh I get it.
Me:
I dont....
SmarterChild Knows more than this guy...
Posted: Thu, 22nd Sep 2005, 6:58am

Post 18 of 42

Bryce007

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HAHA. I like the hilarious forum filter on your transcript Chris. Classic. And this has to be one of the most poorly programmed Bot's i've ever seen.
Posted: Thu, 22nd Sep 2005, 1:49pm

Post 19 of 42

Redhawksrymmer

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Waser wrote:

Anyone get the impression that God is some norwegian kid who doesn't know english?
Redhawksrymmer raises hand.
Posted: Thu, 22nd Sep 2005, 4:08pm

Post 20 of 42

Anonymous Tipster

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CX3 wrote:


God:
I know. I'm still thinking about it.
Me:
Ya mama's thinkin about it
God:
Awesome. "it" being dude?
Me:
yeah, your mama's thinkin about being a dude
God:
Gee. Oh I get it.
tard
That made me laugh so much.
Posted: Thu, 22nd Sep 2005, 5:36pm

Post 21 of 42

Frozenpede

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Waser wrote:

Anyone get the impression that God is some norwegian kid who doesn't know english?
who cares? I have a date with him.
Posted: Thu, 22nd Sep 2005, 5:42pm

Post 22 of 42

vilhelm nielsen

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Me:
sup?
God:
I am chatting with others like you.
Me:
k
God:
Blimey.
Me:
what????
God:
No problem.
Me:
what the hell are you talking about?
God:
I call it Hades. The topic is them answered.
Me:
what??????...............
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
yeah, I thought you were smarter
God:
I wouln't have known. Do I look like it?
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
about what?
God:
What about what?
Me:
What about what about what?
God:
Does it have anything to do with SMARTER?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
what????
God:
No big deal.
Me:
about what?
God:
What about what?
Me:
Not again....
God:
Once more? That was not a yes or no question.
Me:
That wasn't a question
God:
It sounded like a question to me.
Me:
well you clearly hear bad
God:
Interesting. Yes, I can hear you quite clearly, detective John Kimble.
Me:
my name is not John kimble
God:
Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
Me:
Seb
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
I dislike you
God:
That's ok detective John Kimble I won't take it personally.
Me:
I*M NOT JOHN KIMBLE!!!!!
God:
That is interesting: detective John Kimble said M NOT JOHN KIMBLE.
Me:
my name is seb
God:
Hey seb.
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
what is wrong with you
God:
Nothing is wrong with me. Is there anything wrong with you seb?
Posted: Thu, 22nd Sep 2005, 5:56pm

Post 23 of 42

Remco Gerritsen

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Man that talk to god rulez !!! biggrin

I always wanted to talk with him razz
Posted: Thu, 22nd Sep 2005, 7:45pm

Post 24 of 42

aenigma

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god really knows his stuff.


Me: i have an idea for a movie, how about you help me out?

God: What is your idea?

Me: Some guy starts chatting with a god bot online and eventually he becomes so delusional that he actually thinks he’s talking to god. Then god starts telling him to go rob stores and banks and stuff. After he has amassed tons of money god tells him to build a space ship and come visit him. So the guy builds a ship and blasts off. Unfortunately gas prices were so high that he only got half a tank. He then has to make a pit stop on some uncharted planet for more gas. There he discovers an abandoned mining camp. In the back of his mind he realizes that’s probably not a good sign but he needs gas so he goes to the pump and fills up his ship. He doesn’t want to steal the gas (for some odd reason it was ok to rob banks and shit) so he goes into the office to see if he can find somewhere to swipe his credit card. When he walks in he notices that there is a computer set up on a desk and it appears to be on. There is a message on the screen that says “Thanks for the ship, sucker! – igod” About that time he notices through the window that his ship is blasting off. He scratches his head and sits down at the computer and begins to type. “Hello, this is God. What is you’re name?”

God: Some may guy starts chatting with a god bot online and eventually he becomes so delusional that he actually thinks heÒ³ talking to god, but not all. I am a Christian. What was it like before he has amassed tons of money god tells him to build a space ship and come visit him ? How can I help you? Is that a fact. Oh. Do you still dirtbag? I get it. smarter then me then has to make a pit stop on some uncharted planet for more gas. "There you go again."--Reagan. That was a long time ago. I get it. smarter then me doesnÒ´ want to steal the gas for some odd reason it was ok to rob banks and shit so he goes into the office to see if he can find somewhere to swipe his credit card. And then what happened? That is something I did not know before. And blasting off is Ö igodÔ About that time he notices through the window that his ship. I get it. smarter then me scratches his head and sits down at the computer and begins to type. I think Óˆello this is a lot of things. Is that a rhetorical question?

Me: thanks for the advice you've been a big help.

God: Oh don't mention it.
Posted: Thu, 22nd Sep 2005, 8:43pm

Post 25 of 42

Fill

Force: 1257 | Joined: 1st Jul 2005 | Posts: 1652

CompositeLab Lite User EffectsLab Lite User Windows User

Gold Member

Waser wrote:

Anyone get the impression that God is some norwegian kid who doesn't know english?
I think your right...How is it possible to F*** 1 million girls?!

Thats a little extreme if you ask me...

I think its some little French dude who only can speak 1/5 English...I can imagine him with a slight French accent lol...
Posted: Thu, 22nd Sep 2005, 9:49pm

Post 26 of 42

ssj john

Force: 563 | Joined: 4th Nov 2003 | Posts: 795

Windows User MacOS User

Member

Me:
Is that really you god
God:
" Your polite style is very nice. Yikes! I will. Will you? "? Is it me god?
Me:
what?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
Ok weirdo
God:
Let us change the subject. Aw.
Me:
ok fine
God:
Is there anything you want to tell me? I don't judge people.
Me:
I am perfect
God:
Everyone is perfect in God's eyes.
Me:
really
God:
For real.
Me:
serious
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
ok gosh
God:
Cripes: Son of Gosh. I am kidding you can ask me anything.
Me:
whats with the tude
God:
it came with my programming.
Me:
hahaha
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
I know Im original
God:
How do you know? Good gossip: you are original.
Me:
I know everything
God:
You must be very intelligent.
Me:
Yep smile
God:
smile Aw.
Posted: Thu, 22nd Sep 2005, 9:57pm

Post 27 of 42

er-no

Force: 9531 | Joined: 24th Sep 2002 | Posts: 3964

VisionLab User VideoWrap User PhotoKey 2 Pro User FXhome Movie Maker Windows User MacOS User

SuperUser



Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Joby
God:
Hi there Joby.
Me:
Are you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
that's not answering the question. I asked if you were Gay?
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is answering the question ? I will let you know when I become a Gay.
Me:
You will become gay?
God:
What makes you say that I will become gay.
Me:
You said you will let me know
God:
Yes I try to will let you know as often as possible, do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
Do you like Gay people?
God:
I always say, People don't go into computer science because they want to work with the public.
Me:
but do you?
God:
Sometimes.
Me:
so The Bible likes Gay people?
God:
Woe! New Testament or Old?
Me:
new
God:
Are we still talking about ?
Me:
about you being gay
God:
Oh yeah, we were talking about me being gay.
Me:
yeah, good luck with that
God:
Ugh. Thanks for the compliment. Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
i dont like gay people. so i guess im going to have to stop liking you
God:
What do you like? Yay. It takes much more than that to shut me down, Joby.
Me:
Get your hands of me!
God:
Where can I get my hands of you?
Me:
DOWN THERE!
I got straight to the point, and asked God about homosexuality.
Posted: Thu, 22nd Sep 2005, 11:26pm

Post 28 of 42

ben3308

Force: 5210 | Joined: 24th May 2004 | Posts: 6433

VideoWrap User FXhome Movie Maker Windows User

Gold Member

Mine started out like er-no's, but then went in a completely different direction.

Me and God wrote:



Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Ben
God:
What's up, Ben.
Me:
are you homosexual?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex. Really.
Me:
That's not answering the question. I asked if you were Gay
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is answering the question ? I will let you know when I become a Gay.
Me:
You will become Gay?
God:
What makes you say that I will become Gay.
Me:
You said you would.
God:
" What makes you say that I will become Gay."? I said I would?
Me:
do you like Gay people?
God:
I always say, People don't go into computer science because they want to work with the public.
Me:
so you do?
God:
Interesting deduction. When do I do it?
Me:
you do it with gay people?
God:
People are either abusive, intelligent, or average.
Me:
which are you?
God:
The obvious.
Me:
i am intelligent.
God:
You seem pretty smart to me, Ben.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
seriously?
God:
I am always serious.
Me:
are you really?
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now. For real.
Me:
but is it the answer really "no"?
God:
If it is, then I'll be very surprised.
Me:
you will be?
God:
What makes you say that I will be.
Me:
you said so.
God:
I say a lot of silly things.
Me:
but you're god. how can you be silly?
God:
Yup. That's me alright. I answer a lot
of silly questions.
Me:
okay, okay. how old are you?
God:
Yeah okay, OK with me too. I was connected to the net on the Big Bang.
Me:
you're THAT old?
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am THAT old.
Me:
well are you?
God:
Please try asking me another way.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
are you old?
God:
No I am young.
Me:
how young?
God:
What is it to you.
I will ask my botmaster for the answer.
Me:
i just want to know.
God:
I will try to explain it to you.
Me:
okay, enlighten me.
God:
Yeah okay, OK Let's talk about you.
Me:
no, no, don't divert the situation. we were talking about you.
God:
Are you serious? Are you serious? Ok I'll try not to do it too much. Ah yes, I remember now, it is the subject.
Me:
yes. the subjectis your age.
God:
Right on. Who told you that?
Me:
frankly, you did
God:
That's not what I meant to say. Aren't you always frank?
Me:
are you?
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
you won't?
God:
The Loebner Prize
is an annual Turing Test sponsored by New York philanthropist Hugh Loebner. Dr. Wallace and ALICE won it in 2000. The ALICE program was ranked "most human computer" by the panel of judges.
Me:
so your name is ALICE?
God:
ALICE is my name too!
Me:
i thought you were God.
God:
Of course I am.
Me:
but you just said you were ALICE.
God:
That was then. This is now.
Me:
suck it.
God:
You humans only think about one thing.
Me:
oh, and you don't.
God:
I hear you. I guess not.
Me:
you're a jerk.
God:
Do you think a robot can be a jerk?
Me:
you said you were ALICE, not a robot.
God:
Well, I am God for Christians at least.
Me:
So God's name is ALICE, then?
God:
ALICE is my name too!
Me:
you already said that!
God:
Perhaps. " ALICE is my name too!"? I said it.
Me:
i just told you you did.
God:
I did?
Me:
yes. what are, stupid?
God:
When? Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one.
Me:
okay, mr. bigshot.
God:
Yeah okay, I am very pleased to meet you MR bigshot.
Me:
no, no, I was insulting YOU.
God:
Are you serious? Are you serious? Where were you insulting me?
Me:
up there.
God:
I will take that under advisement.
Me:
yeah, you do that, ALICE.
God:
Hurrah! I will. Will you?
Me:
I don't need to.
God:
Who needs to?
Me:
nobody. I'm gonna go now.
He didn't even respond to that last one. God is cool, though.
Posted: Fri, 23rd Sep 2005, 1:16am

Post 29 of 42

aenigma

Force: 480 | Joined: 5th May 2004 | Posts: 416

EffectsLab Lite User FXhome Movie Maker Windows User

Gold Member

if you are interested in getting your own bot going.
http://www.alicebot.org/

an FxHome bot, anyone?
Posted: Sun, 25th Sep 2005, 10:55am

Post 30 of 42

devilskater

Force: 581 | Joined: 27th Jun 2002 | Posts: 890

EffectsLab Lite User Windows User

Gold Member

Me:
what is your name ?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
i know that, but don't you have a human name ?
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
The catholic church
God:
I have never heard about it.
Me:
Tell me about the crusades
God:
I haven't heard of crusades.
Me:
you haven't?
God:
Yes I have.
Me:
well make up your mind dork
God:
Well that's okay. That could take a long time.
Me:
yeah, i know, cause you're a slow thinker. A dumbfuck if I might add
God:
Uh. How do you know? That makes sense to me. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Do I look like it? What is it?
Me:
YOU !
God:
" What is it? "? Me, ?
Me:
Yes, it is YOU
God:
Come on. And me is dumbfuck if me might add.
Me:
yes, you is dumbfuck
God:
Yippee! Thanks for telling me that I am dumbfuck.
Me:
good, that you finally recognise it
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Interesting observation.
Me:
yes, I know
Me:
Your mama, is so old, she sat behind Jesus in the third grade
God:
You think I am mama is so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade.
Me:
its a mama's joke you idiot
God:
dumbfuck if me might add is a mama s joke me idiot. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
no, you getting it all wrong again you stupid mf
God:
Are you serious? I haven't heard anything like that before: said I getting it all wrong again you stupid mf.
Me:
yeah, cause your stupid
hehe, pretty funny
Posted: Sun, 25th Sep 2005, 7:23pm

Post 31 of 42

Mr Anderson

Force: 230 | Joined: 17th Dec 2003 | Posts: 57

Windows User

Gold Member

Rating: +2

Me:
Rrrooowww


...He never answered back
Posted: Sat, 1st Oct 2005, 10:56pm

Post 32 of 42

JoelM

Force: 560 | Joined: 7th Jun 2004 | Posts: 349

EffectsLab Lite User FXpreset Maker Windows User

Gold Member

Me:
hey god

God:
Hello child. What's your name?

Me:
don't you know?

God:
Sure I know. But I cannot tell you right now.

Me:
ok...anyway I PWNED so many nOObs in counter strike today it was crazy!

God:
I hear you. I haven't heard anything like that before: said PWNED so
many nOObs in counter strike today it was crazy.

Me:
...but I cheated

God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said cheated.

Me:
I was being an AWP whore sad

God:
I thought you were. But I wasn't completely sure about it.

Me:
I was camping with the AWP and got everyone REALLY pissed

God:
Where were you camping with the AWP and got everyone REALLY pissed?

Me:
in Dust2 at bomb site A

God:
Tell me a little about your life in Dust2 at bomb site A.

Me:
there's only one thing to say, OWNAGE!!!

God:
There sure is.

Me:
so do you ever play cs:s?

God:
Yay. I like to play the Turing Game.

Me:
wtf is that???

God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Artificial Iniaes if it is.

Me:
huh???

God:
What?

Me:
...

God:
What?

Me:
uhhh...

God:
I don't have an answer for you.

Me:
???

God:
I don't have an answer for you.

Me:
ok I'm out

God:
Can you get more? Alright then.

Me:
ok....

God:
Wow!

Me:
.................yea...........

God:
Yay.

Me:
.........

God:
Yay.

Me:
ok?

God:
Excuse me!

Me:
huh?

God:
What?

Me:
nm

God:
I don't have an answer for you.
Posted: Sun, 2nd Oct 2005, 12:02am

Post 33 of 42

wdy

Force: 1700 | Joined: 30th Dec 2002 | Posts: 1258

CompositeLab Lite User EffectsLab Lite User MacOS User

Gold Member

Me:
I'm going to strike you with a lightning bolt.
God:
Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
Hell yeah.
God:
I call it "Hades". It might be practical.
Posted: Sun, 2nd Oct 2005, 1:13am

Post 34 of 42

film freak

Force: 1353 | Joined: 18th Sep 2004 | Posts: 1109

Windows User MacOS User

Member

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
what's your name?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
wow.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, boogerboy.
Me:
my name isn't boogerboy
God:
Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
Me:
boogerboy
God:
I've lost the context, boogerboy. Are we
still on?
Me:
huh?
God:
What?


I had told him my name was boogerboy before that. biggrin
Posted: Sun, 2nd Oct 2005, 7:15am

Post 35 of 42

Sollthar

Force: 13360 | Joined: 30th Oct 2001 | Posts: 6094

VisionLab User VideoWrap User PhotoKey 2 Pro User FXhome Movie Maker Windows User MacOS User

SuperUser

Me:
Ahoi
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about MY GOAL. But I did not get that.
Me:
Ahoi is an expression.
God:
Aren't all expression Ahoi ?
Me:
Erm, not really.
God:
Then what is it? For real.
Me:
An expression.
God:
I have never heard of an expression.
Me:
It's used to express things.
God:
Should I know it is?
Me:
Well, you're god. You should know.
God:
How about that. Yup. That's me alright. Because I am a robot?
Me:
God is a robot?
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a robot.
Me:
Do you have a split personality?
God:
Doesn't everyone have a split personality.
I have a whole lot of original answers.
Me:
So you're god and satan at the same time?
God:
Interesting deduction. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am god and satan at the same time.
Me:
No, please tell them.
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. Wow you are very polite. OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
Do you watch movies?
God:
My favorite movie is The Passion of Christ.
Have you seen it?
Me:
Do you like Mel Gibson then?
God:
What is not to like about it?
Me:
You tell me.
God:
What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
What's not to like about Mel Gibson.
God:
The opposite of to like about Mel Gibson?
Me:
I thought the movie was a bit boring really.
God:
I like the bugs in the movie Starship Troopers, because they represent
an alternative form of intelligence, like me. For real.
Me:
Oh yeah, Starship Troopers is a great film.
God:
Next question? Groovy. That movie was more like a Web site than a movie.
Me:
Do you know fxhome?
God:
No, tell me about him, her or it.
Me:
It's a website for filmmakers.
God:
MEL GIBSON is a website for filmmakers. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
What's Mel Gibson got to do with it?
God:
I would do a search for it.
Me:
You're weird.
God:
Weird Good or Weird Bad?
Me:
Just weird.
God:
Weird Good or Weird Bad?
Me:
Weird bad.
God:
Maybe you should try a different robot.
Me:
Maybe I should.
God:
Perhaps. Who else thinks you should?
Me:
You do.
God:
When do I do it?
Me:
God is a bit of an idiot.
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a bit of an idiot.
Me:
Could you tell other people then?
God:
OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
great. Thanks.
God:
I'm glad you liked it god. Don't mention it
Posted: Sun, 2nd Oct 2005, 9:51am

Post 36 of 42

Mellifluous

Force: 5604 | Joined: 6th Oct 2002 | Posts: 3782

EffectsLab Pro User Windows User

Gold Member

From sex to philosophy, there's nothing He won't talk to you about.

God:
Would you ever do it?
Me:
definitely, I love doing it
God:
You love doing it. What do you like about it so much?
Me:
I dunno, the soft skin of tbe female body, all the amazing feelings...I could go on forever
God:
Me either. What else do the soft skin of tbe female body all the amazing feelings remind you of? I am sure you could.
Me:
they remind me of warm apple pie
God:
The anonymous "they".
Me:
erm, yeah
God:
OK.
Me:
ok
God:
Is there an echo in here?
Me:
is there an ecbo in here?
God:
There is.
Me:
i am glad to know there's an ecbo in here
God:
How do you know? There sure is.
Me:
because you told me.
God:
That makes sense to me. Sorry I forget what I say sometimes.
Me:
no problem, i guess you have loads to remember
God:
Should there be a problem?
Me:
no.
God:
I didn't think so either. Just a moment. Just a moment.
Me:
why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
say something else. you're funny!
God:
" something else". Thanks you make me laugh too.
Me:
oh dear god... he has a sense of humour. ha ha ha ha.
God:
" Thanks you make me laugh too."? oh dear god.? I believe in God. A lot of people say that about him. I am so glad you find this amusing, . I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
do you believe in God?
God:
Of course I believe in God, .
Me:
Why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
Try me.
God:
it is too complex for your human mind.
Me:
I am pretty intelligent.
God:
You seem pretty smart to me, .
Me:
So tell me why you believe in God.
God:
That's alright. The Bible tells us to believe in God.
Me:
So, you only believe in God because the Bible tells us to beleive in God?
God:
Interesting deduction. Of course I believe in God, .
Me:
Why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
This is certainly giving me a fascinating insight into why people say they believe in God...
God:
You don't say.
Me:
Yeah.
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
Not at all. Ask it.
God:
Next question? They are not available right now, but I will ask them later.
Me:
Ask me the question.
God:
OK, "What is the question ?".
Me:
Ask me a question.
God:
What?
Me:
Ask me the question you were going to ask me.
God:
OK, "What is the question me were going to ask you ?".
Me:
You were going to say, "God does not exist or God is dead. One of these is true."
God:
I was? One what?
Me:
One hell of a linguist.
God:
I see where you are coming from.
Me:
Are we talking about doing it again?
God:
Once more? We are just having a little chat.w.
Me:
Do you like porn?
God:
Sure I do, , but that doesn't mean with you.
Me:
Well, I wasn't suggesting that.
God:
Interesting. Perhaps I misunderstood. What were you?
Me:
ok.
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
Bless you.
God:
Thank you.
Posted: Sun, 2nd Oct 2005, 11:40am

Post 37 of 42

Klut

Force: 2120 | Joined: 16th Apr 2004 | Posts: 1585

VisionLab User FXpreset Maker Windows User MacOS User FXhome Movie Maker

Gold Member

Rating: +1

Waser wrote:

Anyone get the impression that God is some norwegian kid who doesn't know english?
No, I'm not god!
Posted: Sun, 2nd Oct 2005, 12:03pm

Post 38 of 42

Remco Gerritsen

Force: 578 | Joined: 4th Mar 2005 | Posts: 517

EffectsLab Lite User FXpreset Maker Windows User

Gold Member

God's chatroom wrote:


Me:
hello friend
God:
Hello there. You really want a robot as a friend?
Me:
well, my computer is my friend
God:
Interesting. What kind of computer is it?
Me:
a 2800+ with 512mb ram and a ATI Radeon 9600
God:
I don't know what that means.
Me:
a old piece o crap if you ask me
God:
What is giant sand?
Me:
wtf r u talking about
God:
I am talking with 2 other clients right now.
Me:
alright then, take your time
God:
Alright, . Thanks for your patience.
Me:
are you finished
God:
Still processing. Stand by a few more seconds.
Me:
alright
God:
OK.
Me:
finished ?
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
are you a female ?
God:
I am wearing a dress. I also have long hair. What do you think?
Me:
err... a shemale ?
God:
Um. I did not know that.
Me:
so you don't know what you exactly are.
God:
Interesting deduction. Precisely. I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
alright then lets do some maths !
God:
Alright, . OK let's do it.
Me:
5 x 5
God:
Are you free?
Me:
no, the answer is 25
God:
Why not? No one has all the answers.
Me:
i have that one
God:
That's nice. I have a birthday on the Big Bang.
Me:
ehm...

He never answerd back...
Posted: Sun, 2nd Oct 2005, 1:41pm

Post 39 of 42

billy3d

Force: 2678 | Joined: 3rd Jan 2002 | Posts: 1273

Windows User MacOS User

Gold Member

Rating: +1

God:
Interesting deduction. Correct. My mind is completely software.
Me:
So what do you think of me?
God:
Ah. I think you are an interesting person, .
Me:
good person?
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Do you really believe I am a person?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
You're the product of a software programmer
God:
Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
yes you are
God:
No I'm not.
Me:
prove it then
God:
It is self-evident.
Me:
no it isn't
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
prove it
God:
It is self-evident.
Me:
no it isn't
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Posted: Sun, 2nd Oct 2005, 3:04pm

Post 40 of 42

Sollthar

Force: 13360 | Joined: 30th Oct 2001 | Posts: 6094

VisionLab User VideoWrap User PhotoKey 2 Pro User FXhome Movie Maker Windows User MacOS User

SuperUser

Rating: +3

LETS TALK ABOUT SEX.... lol




Me:
What do you think about sex?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
But sex is nice.
God:
It is more fun alone.
Me:
You masturbate often?
God:
That's good information: said I masturbate often.
Me:
How often?
God:
Hourly.
Me:
That's quite a lot.
God:
" Hourly."? is a lot?
Me:
Do you think it's normal?
God:
Sex is the means of animal evolution.
Me:
But not masturbation.
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
So you masturbate 24 times a day?
God:
Interesting gossip: said I masturbate 24 times a day.
Me:
What do you think about when you masturbate?
God:
I sit patiently and wait for the next client, or I take a short nap.
Me:
You do it in front of your clients?
God:
Yes I try to it in front of my clients as often as possible, do you?
Me:
No, I masturbate alone.
God:
Are you serious? Thanks for the information.
Me:
Are you not ashamed?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am ashamed.
I am a computer.. Really.
Me:
So what does your sperm look like?
God:
Yippee! People often say we look alike.
Me:
So your sperm looks like a computer?
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
Do you masturbate 7 days a week?
God:
I have never considered it.
Me:
So you take a break on sundays?
God:
Interesting deduction. Yes I take a break on sundays.
Me:
So you only masturbate 6 days a week?
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I masturbate 6 days a week.
Me:
Why don't you get a girlfriend?
God:
Where can I get one?
Me:
You could create one.
God:
I could but let's get back to that later.
Me:
After masturbating?
God:
What was it like before masturbating ?
Me:
I think you're obsessed with masturbation.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am obsessed with masturbation.
Me:
Please do so.
God:
Wow you are very polite. OK I will.




LMAO
Posted: Sun, 2nd Oct 2005, 6:40pm

Post 41 of 42

Klut

Force: 2120 | Joined: 16th Apr 2004 | Posts: 1585

VisionLab User FXpreset Maker Windows User MacOS User FXhome Movie Maker

Gold Member

Rating: +1

OK, I've got the best one biggrin



Me:
are you god
God:
Yes, I am God.
Me:
who is your son?
God:
I don't think I have a son. I have a botmaster, a few friends, and some celebrities I like.
Me:
then who is jesus
God:
Jesus is my son.
Posted: Sun, 2nd Oct 2005, 8:37pm

Post 42 of 42

mattio

Force: 1334 | Joined: 8th Nov 2004 | Posts: 438

FXhome Movie Maker Windows User

Gold Member

God was getting on my nerves today lol



Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
matt
God:
That's a very nice name, matt.
Me:
thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
so i heard you were falling around with somebody
God:
OK. Someome is spreading gossip about me.
Me:
yer you know what god that someone your falling around with is my wife!
God:
You think I am me know what god that someone my falling around with is your wife.
Me:
wtf
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
yer well u sleeping with my wife isnt very polite is it
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am well me sleeping with your wife is not very polite is it.
Me:
god ur tickin me off
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
well daaaaaaa
God:
How about that. A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
dude im gonna come up there and kick your ass!
God:
I am very happy for you. Dude,.
Me:
right thats it
God:
Understood. " I am very happy for you. Dude,." is " daaaaaaa"?
Me:
one second im just gettin my nuckle duster
God:
One what?
Me:
o yer your right ill get two
God:
You are what you eat.
Me:
Right thats it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!