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Pick One (Please)

Which would make the best opening?

Scene A50%[ 17 ]
Scene B18%[ 6 ]
Scene C32%[ 11 ]

Total Votes : 34

Posted: Mon, 24th Oct 2005, 5:14pm

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TommyB

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Could you really quickly pick one of these scenes in the poll. My question is, which scene would be the best opening to a film?

Scene A
- A man comes home to discover his dead wife.

Scene B
- Two gangsters have a conversation whilst looking in the boot of a car. One man persuades the other not to steal the mass quantity of marijuana staring them in the face.

(This is highly relevant to the plot, as the man comes back afterwards and steals it, the consequence being Scene A)

Scene C
- The two gangsters chase each other in some woods. In an act of revenge, one man kills the other. (Also related to Scene A)

--------------------------
The actual plot is far more sophisticated that what's made out here.

Cheers
Posted: Mon, 24th Oct 2005, 5:33pm

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Bryce007

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At least this isn't overly Grim. wink
Posted: Mon, 24th Oct 2005, 6:00pm

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TommyB

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Lol, I realise that this thread makes me sound like an 8 year old making a film, but please understand I've tried to make the descriptions as short as possible, so that it doesn't take up much of your time.

Thanks for all those voting.
Posted: Mon, 24th Oct 2005, 6:05pm

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Xcession

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None of the above.

Instead - a slightly different version of B: Two gansters have a conversation whilst looking into [something]. One man persuades the other not to steal [it].

Nothing is as un-inventive as introducing the main subject of the movie in the first scene and starting a movie with a murder is equally passe. I'd suggest, therefore, that you introduce the two characters, but don't let on what they're talking about until later - where you use the same scene except this time spliced with footage of what they're actually looking at.

It'll require some fairly elementary cropping, angles and a suitably vague script, but shouldn't be a problem for you to keep the subject of the scene a mystery until later.

Last edited Mon, 24th Oct 2005, 6:45pm; edited 1 times in total.

Posted: Mon, 24th Oct 2005, 6:43pm

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film freak

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I chose scene A. Seems the best opening, since you don't know the reasoning for her death, (Or murder) until further into the movie.
Posted: Mon, 24th Oct 2005, 7:00pm

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gekjas

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Not knowing what the story is about. I will make a guess of how I would start the movie.

You see a few shots of the forest, camera slowly moving. The names of the production company and the main actors are on screen. Kind of a slow relaxing music on the background so the viewer gets a good look at the forest and the names that come passing by. Then after you've had all the names. BAAM Suddenly the gangsters come running in. Chaotic footage comes passing by and the scéne turns into a chase. Exiting music depending on the emotion you wanna put in the scéne (rock for agressive, techno for the more focused chase, strong classical music if you want it to have a sacred meaning, and if you want a weird scéne you can always put some stupid song in.) as long as it is fast going. Then after a chase of about a minute or 2 one gangster kills the other in a dramatic way and when the (alive) gangster leaves the scéne of crime the movie slowly fades.
**perhaps now is a good time for the TITLE of the movie**
Then you start of with a conversation that has nothing to do with the scéne before. So the viewer gets a bit confused and most importantly curious of what happend between the two gangsters.

Along with the story the viewer finds out more about the first scéne and slowly comes to realize what important message or meaning this scéne had. Optionaly you can show the first scéne again close to/at the end of your movie from another angle or storypoint. So the viewer is shocked, touched or whatever way you want to go with your movie.

This is what I would have made out of the third description you gave.
Hope this, or at least some of it, is helpfull to your project.

Greetz
Gekjas.
Posted: Mon, 24th Oct 2005, 7:09pm

Post 7 of 26

TommyB

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Xcession wrote:

None of the above.

Instead - a slightly different version of B: Two gansters have a conversation whilst looking into [something]. One man persuades the other not to steal [it].

Nothing is as un-inventive as introducing the main subject of the movie in the first scene and starting a movie with a murder is equally passe. I'd suggest, therefore, that you introduce the two characters, but don't let on what they're talking about until later - where you use the same scene except this time spliced with footage of what they're actually looking at.

It'll require some fairly elementary cropping, angles and a suitably vague script, but shouldn't be a problem for you to keep the subject of the scene a mystery until later.
I do like this idea. The origional scene was simply one camera running that was mounted in the boot looking outwards. However, writing the scene so that they don't mention what they're looking at would be tricky. I would basically have to switch 'weed' to a slangy subtistute, or perhaps a swearword.

In fact, there's a snippet of what I wrote already.

-----------------------

Jimmy
Holy ****… Man this guy has half of Colombia in here!

Man, I could do with some skunk.

Fred
The only thing you’re taking from that trunk is the case!

Jimmy
But there’s a pound of that ****. One bag won’t make no difference.

Fred
You know the rules Jimmy!

Jimmy
Rules are meant to be broken!

Fred (walks out of view)
Not Vin’s rules!

Now grab that ******* case and lets get the hell out of here!
Posted: Mon, 24th Oct 2005, 7:12pm

Post 8 of 26

TommyB

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gekjas wrote:

Not knowing what the story is about. I will make a guess of how I would start the movie.

You see a few shots of the forest, camera slowly moving. The names of the production company and the main actors are on screen. Kind of a slow relaxing music on the background so the viewer gets a good look at the forest and the names that come passing by. Then after you've had all the names. BAAM Suddenly the gangsters come running in. Chaotic footage comes passing by and the scéne turns into a chase. Exiting music depending on the emotion you wanna put in the scéne (rock for agressive, techno for the more focused chase, strong classical music if you want it to have a sacred meaning, and if you want a weird scéne you can always put some stupid song in.) as long as it is fast going. Then after a chase of about a minute or 2 one gangster kills the other in a dramatic way and when the (alive) gangster leaves the scéne of crime the movie slowly fades.
**perhaps now is a good time for the TITLE of the movie**
Then you start of with a conversation that has nothing to do with the scéne before. So the viewer gets a bit confused and most importantly curious of what happend between the two gangsters.

Along with the story the viewer finds out more about the first scéne and slowly comes to realize what important message or meaning this scéne had. Optionaly you can show the first scéne again close to/at the end of your movie from another angle or storypoint. So the viewer is shocked, touched or whatever way you want to go with your movie.

This is what I would have made out of the third description you gave.
Hope this, or at least some of it, is helpfull to your project.

Greetz
Gekjas.
That's very similar to how I'm filming the scene. We're filming on a foggy, frosty Winter's morning. The first few shots show the environment and the surrounding countryside, but this tranquillity is then shattered by the two men running and a cacophony of gun blazes. The only problem is that, in terms of the film's timeline, this is actually the ending sequence.
Posted: Mon, 24th Oct 2005, 7:19pm

Post 9 of 26

Xcession

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Jimmy
Holy ****… Man this guy has half of Colombia in here!

Man, I could do with some skunk.

Fred
The only thing you’re taking from that trunk is the case!

Jimmy
But there’s a pound of that ****. One bag won’t make no difference.

Fred
You know the rules Jimmy!

Jimmy
Rules are meant to be broken!

Fred (walks out of view)
Not Vin’s rules!

Now grab that ******* case and lets get the hell out of here!
Thats peasy to reword - it just requires your actors to express what they're seeing with the eyes and emphasis on words a bit more...
---------
Jimmy
Holy ****!! [jimmy eagerly dives straight in and starts trying to lift whatever it is]

Fred
Woah! - The only thing you’re taking from that trunk is the case!

Jimmy [mock-pleading]
Oh come ooon - it won’t make no difference - we're stealing however you look at it.

Fred
You know the rules Jimmy!

Jimmy
Rules are meant to be broken!

Fred (walks out of view)
Not Vin’s rules! Now grab that **** and lets get the hell out of here!
Posted: Mon, 24th Oct 2005, 7:22pm

Post 10 of 26

Frozenpede

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I would say start with a funeral scene.
Posted: Tue, 25th Oct 2005, 12:28am

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EyerisProductions

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Decided on the opening scene consider what will drive you audience to want to know more.

Dramatic and Dynamic.

Remember the first ten minutes of a script is pivatal to capturing an audiences attention (mind you if it is feature length) but the first minute or so must suck them in.

I would start with what Xcession suggested:

Xcession wrote:


Jimmy
Holy ****!! [jimmy eagerly dives straight in and starts trying to lift whatever it is]

Fred
Woah! - The only thing you’re taking from that trunk is the case!

Jimmy [mock-pleading]
Oh come ooon - it won’t make no difference - we're stealing however you look at it.

Fred
You know the rules Jimmy!

Jimmy
Rules are meant to be broken!

Fred (walks out of view)
Not Vin’s rules! Now grab that **** and lets get the hell out of here!
Its quick and already gets the audience thinking. I would end with Jimmy taking the case that Fred told him to and then slamming shut the trunk (I'm assuming it is the trunk).

Then I would cut to the Jimmy commiting the murder. Just him walking up to whom ever he kills and WHAM! Kill her.

Then cut to The man discovering his wife dead.

Fade to black.

Opening Title.
Posted: Tue, 25th Oct 2005, 12:31am

Post 12 of 26

alexcull

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All of them seem highly "cliche," or to commonly used. But i would say that C would be the best because it has some form of violence. If the fight seen is done correctly, it was obviously presuade the viewer, to, well, continue to view.
Posted: Tue, 25th Oct 2005, 12:49am

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rogolo

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People love violence. Violence is what hooks viewers. In broadcasting, pretty much every news program starts with something called a 'Blood Lead' where they talk about pain, suffering, death, and misery so people want to know more. The key is to mix in lots of violence with enough mystery--that should get people's attention. Scene C satisfies these parameters.

Last edited Tue, 25th Oct 2005, 12:50am; edited 1 times in total.

Posted: Tue, 25th Oct 2005, 12:50am

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Pooky

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I'd do what Xcession suggested, since the other two are very cliche.
Posted: Tue, 25th Oct 2005, 12:55am

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irishcult

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2 gangsters drive through the woods after mudering some guys wife, and stealing a crud load of weed and through it in the trunk. Letter getting high.

No Seriosly i like the first one because you can branch off it so much. You can litterally make up thousands of storyed about that.
Posted: Tue, 25th Oct 2005, 2:13am

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EyerisProductions

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Correct. Violence... and Sex Sell. Always have and always will.

Romans enjoyed the Gladatorial Matches and we enjoy action films.
Posted: Tue, 25th Oct 2005, 2:16am

Post 17 of 26

EyerisProductions

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With that I kinda of reconsidered my previous suggestion.

I would open with Jimmy killing the wife. Like I said just him walking up to her and WHAM!

Get close to the gore. Closer and closer shots of her lying dead on the ground.

Then a shadow cover her, pan up to:

Her husband standing over her.

Cut to Xcession's idea. But have a timeline stamp on it. How ever many days, weeks, etc it is before her murder.

When the thrunk is slammed shut the Title fades in.
Posted: Tue, 25th Oct 2005, 9:43am

Post 18 of 26

TommyB

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Hi Guys,

Thanks for all the comments. I really appreciate them. Just to clear things up, it's acutally Fred who kills Jimmy's wife. After they leave, Jimmy goes back and steals the drugs. Their boss, Vin, considers this a 'turncoat' action and orders Fred to kill Jimmy's wife, and then Jimmy. However, when Jimmy returns home, this doesn't go to plan, and Jimmy escapes knowing that Fred murdered his wife. I'm still open to suggestions, and if anyone thinks they've got a better idea I'd really like to hear!

I haven't considered showing the murder of the wife, but I do agree that it would make a very powerful scene. Having an innocent woman in the kitchen, and then a man come in and beat the crap out of here could be quite disturbing if done well.
Posted: Tue, 25th Oct 2005, 10:16am

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jotoki

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it depends what type of movie you want to create. If you want a no brainer then open with violence, cant say that would hook me into a movie, if anything it puts me off, shows a lack of thought and originality but others have different opinions of what they like, so decide what your target audience is and the premise of the film. Is the driver of the film gangland violence or the mystery of what the violence is about. Personally I like Xcessions idea the best. I was gonna suggest something similar only it involved just cutting the scene you wrote so it started part way through, after the mention of the weed. Then when you go back to the scene you start it from the beginning but xcessions small rewrite works better.
Posted: Tue, 25th Oct 2005, 10:21am

Post 20 of 26

TommyB

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It's actually more of a horror/thriller film. The main character, Jimmy, goes through a series of haunting nightmares and the film explores how his character crumbles after the death of his wife, and the guilt that he never told her what his real job was. (She has no idea he's a hitman)

I would describe it as a dark, creepy film with some very abstract scenes.
Posted: Tue, 25th Oct 2005, 10:31am

Post 21 of 26

jotoki

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sounds good but if thats the case then creepy is more a psychological thing, horror is more the violence thing. I still think xcessions opening works better though it think from what you've said about the film I personally might open with a dream/nightmare and shocked wakeup sequence. Cliche perhaps and it would depend if you want to start at the beginning and run linear time or you want to use dreams a flashbacks while present day is jimmy already in decline post wifes death.
Posted: Tue, 25th Oct 2005, 11:50am

Post 22 of 26

TommyB

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I was thinking of opening with Xcession's idea (it'd be literally a 30 second conversation) and following by Jimmy returning home to find his dead wife. I was then going to have a conversation between Jimmy and Fred before the car boot scene (Xcession's opening) about what they're doing/setting up the plot etc.

After this, I was then going to have a nightmare scene where a Jimmy follows a mysterious figure through a deserted station, he then sees Fred murdering his wife through a series of photos the masked figure leads him to.
Posted: Tue, 25th Oct 2005, 5:09pm

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EyerisProductions

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Geez If I knew it was a Thriller not a Mofia film I would have gone with a better suggestion.

If it's about the so mental dissolve of Jimmy after Fred kills his wife then that is a completely different story arc.

Give me a little while and I'll have a better opening for you.

I know you were trying not to give too much away when you asked us our opinion but these details would have greatly helped.
Posted: Thu, 27th Oct 2005, 6:32pm

Post 24 of 26

EyerisProductions

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I would open with Jimmy kneeling crying.

Images of he and his wife flashing through.

Then I would slowly move over to the image of his wife dead.

Jimmy off camera quietly say I'm sorry.

________________________________
If it is a thriller about his slow desent into his guilt over his death and attempted revenge then why she was killed. What he did to cause a hit to be put on her and/or him isn't important until much later on.

Perhaps it is something that Fred throws at Jimmy to confuse him.

Keep the audience guessing on what happened.
Posted: Thu, 27th Oct 2005, 6:39pm

Post 25 of 26

TommyB

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I'd like to thank you all for your ideas and suggestions.

After filming I'll be buying EffectsLab, so hopefully the finished product will appear in the Cinema section in late 2005/early 2006.
Posted: Thu, 27th Oct 2005, 8:38pm

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EyerisProductions

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Look foward to seeing it.