You are viewing an archive of the old fxhome.com forums. The community has since moved to hitfilm.com.

The Worst Dialogue/Lines in a Movie.

Posted: Sat, 12th Nov 2005, 9:29am

Post 1 of 48

Bryce007

Force: 1910 | Joined: 5th Apr 2003 | Posts: 2609

VideoWrap User Windows User

Gold Member

Hey, that rambo thread had me thinking, I always love renting crappy movies and laughing at the Unintentionally funny Lines. So, I'm sure some of you guys out there have some funny ones. In particular, I was watching Conan The barbarian with everyones favorite Austrian in it, and came across what i officially think is one of the worst lines in movie history.

Arnold is dead serious and drops this zinger

"Nothing hurts me, Only pain"

(actually, the rest of the movie is pretty much a joke too)

And then we move onto "Manos: Hands of Fate"

A bunch of followers of the Lead Villain Starts harrassing the main escaping victims with the menacing line:

"The woman is all we want! The others must die! They ALL must die! We do not even want the woman!"

A Real winner as well was 1989's "Roadhouse".

(A Really Cliche Hick is harrassing Patrick swayze)

" I used to Fu** guys like you in prison!"

And we can't forget the one film with a HUGE treasure trove of bad lines is "Commando"

Arnie: "I eat Green Berets for breakfast, and right now I'M VEERRY HUNGREEEEEE"


Anyone else have any hilariously Bad Movie scenes/lines/One liners?

Last edited Sat, 12th Nov 2005, 10:25am; edited 1 times in total.

Posted: Sat, 12th Nov 2005, 9:36am

Post 2 of 48

Waser

Force: 4731 | Joined: 7th Sep 2003 | Posts: 3111

VisionLab User VideoWrap User PhotoKey 2 Pro User FXhome Movie Maker Windows User

SuperUser

Rating: +1

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Posted: Sat, 12th Nov 2005, 9:55am

Post 3 of 48

ashman

Force: 4913 | Joined: 10th Sep 2005 | Posts: 904

VisionLab User VideoWrap User PhotoKey 3 Pro User FXhome Movie Maker Windows User MacOS User

SuperUser

personally i like bad one liners, it's a real 80's thing, and some thing that always comes up when sat down with a group of friends having beers. among my fav are the following,

COMMANDO
bennet: I'm not going to shoot you between the eye's John, I'm going to shoot you in the balls!

Matrix: (throwing a 4 meter pipe down a 20 ft corridor in him) Let of some steam Bennet

ROBOCOP 1 + 2
(bad dude)Can you fly Bobby (throws him onto a car windshield). AND (robo)isn't the moon lovely tonight,(his partner) What are you talking about? it's day Murphy.(robo) It's the thought that counts

PREDATOR
(bill duke) You give us away one more time and i will ghost you mother fu**er, knife you and leave you to bleed real dry.

(arnie) Run get to the chopper!!!!! (with a really bad gormless look that makes me laugh everytime, check out his face!)

There not so many oneliners i suppose but diolog that i will always remember, Robot jox, Arena, cyborg and kickboxer were some others that had rememrable one liners in and most of em joel silver produce's.
And maybe they are bad, BUT YOU WILL NEVER FORGET THOSE FILMS
Posted: Sat, 12th Nov 2005, 10:07am

Post 4 of 48

SlothPaladin

Force: 2900 | Joined: 30th Nov 2004 | Posts: 637

VisionLab User VideoWrap User FXhome Movie Maker FXpreset Maker Windows User

Gold Member

Have you ever seen Ed Wood Jr's "Plan 9 From Outer Space" (1959) this won two gold turkey awards for "Worst picture...ever" and "Worst director...ever"

Criswell: Greetings, my friends. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember, my friends, future events such as these will affect you in the future.

Detective: Inspector Clay is dead, murdered, and somebody's responsible.

Eros: You see? You see? Your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid!

Bottem line, if you like bad movies go out and watch Plan 9
Posted: Sat, 12th Nov 2005, 5:31pm

Post 5 of 48

TheRenegade

Force: 190 | Joined: 2nd Mar 2004 | Posts: 345

MacOS User

Member

Star Wars Ep. 3 Natelie Portman "Hold me...like you held me on Naboo."
Posted: Sat, 12th Nov 2005, 6:44pm

Post 6 of 48

Deepcoiler

Force: 435 | Joined: 18th Jun 2004 | Posts: 541

EffectsLab Lite User FXpreset Maker Windows User MacOS User

Gold Member

I can't remember a certain one, but The Rundown had some horrible ones. That and the "NOOOOO!" from SW EP3, of course.
Posted: Sat, 12th Nov 2005, 7:10pm

Post 7 of 48

film freak

Force: 1353 | Joined: 18th Sep 2004 | Posts: 1109

Windows User MacOS User

Member

Can't really think of any, but I can't count how many funny lines I've heard:
"MY gym is a part of the community. YOUR gym is a skid-mark, on the underpants of society." White Goodman, Dodgeball
"I know you. You know you." Same thing

Wait, just got one:
EPI:
Anakin: "I would probably never make it if I wasn't such a good pilot."
Posted: Sun, 13th Nov 2005, 7:25am

Post 8 of 48

A Pickle

Force: 1235 | Joined: 7th Sep 2004 | Posts: 1280

EffectsLab Lite User FXhome Movie Maker Windows User

Gold Member

Star Wars, Episode I:
Anakin: "Help artoo, I can't find the trigger!"

Star Wars, Episode III:
Greivous: "Time to abandon ship!"

The Matrix Revolutions:
Agent Smith: "Muahahahahahahaha!!"
Posted: Mon, 14th Nov 2005, 12:15am

Post 9 of 48

DPUMA8

Force: 230 | Joined: 1st Dec 2004 | Posts: 181

EffectsLab Lite User

Gold Member

The best is Dolemite from the 70's. See that because that is the king of blaxploitation.

[MOD EDIT: No swearing please, even if it's a quote.]


http://www.cs.indiana.edu/~ncosgray/dolemite/


It is a funny movie because everything is so dumb. The guy that holds the boom Microphone is even visible holding the mic in corners of shots. Great stuff

Last edited Mon, 14th Nov 2005, 12:30am; edited 1 times in total.

Posted: Mon, 14th Nov 2005, 12:19am

Post 10 of 48

Aculag

Force: 8365 | Joined: 21st Jun 2002 | Posts: 8581

EffectsLab Lite User VideoWrap User FXhome Movie Maker MacOS User

Gold Member

The entirety of The Devils Rejects, and the last half of SAW, even though that was mostly acting.
Posted: Mon, 14th Nov 2005, 12:50am

Post 11 of 48

Serpent

Force: 5426 | Joined: 26th Dec 2003 | Posts: 6515

CompositeLab Pro User EffectsLab Pro User FXhome Movie Maker FXpreset Maker MacOS User

Gold Member

Star Wars Episode II

Anakin (to Padme) - I hate sand! It's so rough and corse...

Most awkward dialogue I have ever heard in a decent or better movie.
Posted: Mon, 14th Nov 2005, 2:15am

Post 12 of 48

JoelM

Force: 560 | Joined: 7th Jun 2004 | Posts: 349

EffectsLab Lite User FXpreset Maker Windows User

Gold Member

Serpent wrote:

Star Wars Episode II

Anakin (to Padme) - I hate sand! It's so rough and corse...

Most awkward dialogue I have ever heard in a decent or better movie.
He then continues, "Not like here. Here everything's soft... and smooth..."

I really don't see what's so wrong with that line. The point of it was to show that he loved Padme.
Posted: Mon, 14th Nov 2005, 3:27am

Post 13 of 48

Xog2

Force: 20 | Joined: 3rd Jun 2004 | Posts: 167

Member

I was thinking this could be a funny thread and then I read

Waser:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

and almost died of laughter.
Posted: Mon, 14th Nov 2005, 3:35am

Post 14 of 48

Serpent

Force: 5426 | Joined: 26th Dec 2003 | Posts: 6515

CompositeLab Pro User EffectsLab Pro User FXhome Movie Maker FXpreset Maker MacOS User

Gold Member

Joel McDonald wrote:

Serpent wrote:

Star Wars Episode II

Anakin (to Padme) - I hate sand! It's so rough and corse...

Most awkward dialogue I have ever heard in a decent or better movie.
He then continues, "Not like here. Here everything's soft... and smooth..."

I really don't see what's so wrong with that line. The point of it was to show that he loved Padme.
You didn't find that awkward and corny? Oh well, I just hope I don't get rated down for my opinion again... wink

Another good bad line was in the Doom trailer by the Rock: "If it breathes, kill it." Horrible corny cliched Hollywood dialogue.
Posted: Mon, 14th Nov 2005, 6:19am

Post 15 of 48

Marcopolo1

Force: 0 | Joined: 30th Oct 2005 | Posts: 43

Windows User

Member

Do porno's count? Because there have been some bad lines in some of those (well all of them that I have seen).
Posted: Tue, 15th Nov 2005, 9:53pm

Post 16 of 48

Super Cameraman

Force: 430 | Joined: 25th May 2003 | Posts: 242

Windows User

Gold Member

star wars III

Obi: Wait, how'd THIS happen? We're better than this!

Anakin: Aparantly not.

It's just so random, like hayden made the line up himself!

Darkhelmetman

(hayden cristensen played anakin btw)
Posted: Tue, 15th Nov 2005, 10:11pm

Post 17 of 48

Kid

Force: 4177 | Joined: 1st Apr 2001 | Posts: 1876

EffectsLab Lite User VideoWrap User Windows User

Gold Member

Some motherhubbards are always trying to ice skate up hill!

And to sidetrack slightly the best one liners ever...

Ain't got time to bleed!

and...

Ooh, he's got an arm off.

Last edited Tue, 15th Nov 2005, 10:20pm; edited 1 times in total.

Posted: Tue, 15th Nov 2005, 10:11pm

Post 18 of 48

gekjas

Force: 209 | Joined: 20th Jul 2005 | Posts: 79

EffectsLab Lite User Windows User

Gold Member

A line that almost every hollywood movie has in its film at least once.

For example: Freddy V.S Jason.

The girl with the biggest boobs and the guy with the biggest muscles and the biggest macho additute survive. And after a big battle with freddy AND jason she finally destroyes them both on a firey pier after losing her parents, all of her friends and every single one she knows. She is cut in het arm and leg and wereever else. She burst in tears after she killed them and in with a background that is completely ruined and on fire the boy with the big muscles walkes towards her and asks:
'' You ok?"

WELL WHAT DOES IT F***ING LOOK LIKE??????????
AAAAAAARGH *frustration*

Gekjas.
Posted: Wed, 16th Nov 2005, 12:03am

Post 19 of 48

Aculag

Force: 8365 | Joined: 21st Jun 2002 | Posts: 8581

EffectsLab Lite User VideoWrap User FXhome Movie Maker MacOS User

Gold Member

Kid wrote:

Some motherhubbards are always trying to ice skate up hill!
This is the second time this week I've seen that quote. What is that from?
Posted: Wed, 16th Nov 2005, 5:31am

Post 20 of 48

Bryce007

Force: 1910 | Joined: 5th Apr 2003 | Posts: 2609

VideoWrap User Windows User

Gold Member

Blade trinity. of course, blade didnt say "Mother hubbard"
Posted: Wed, 16th Nov 2005, 9:12pm

Post 21 of 48

Kid

Force: 4177 | Joined: 1st Apr 2001 | Posts: 1876

EffectsLab Lite User VideoWrap User Windows User

Gold Member

Bryce007 wrote:

Blade trinity. of course, blade didnt say "Mother hubbard"
Well Blade 1 to be precise.

The second was by Senator Jesse 'the body' Ventura in Predator and the third from Shaun of the dead.
Posted: Wed, 16th Nov 2005, 9:18pm

Post 22 of 48

Cogz

Force: 16050 | Joined: 18th Jun 2002 | Posts: 674

VisionLab User VideoWrap User PhotoKey 5 Pro User MuzzlePlug User PowerPlug User FXpreset Maker Windows User MacOS User

FXhome Team Member

Worst line ever has to be

[The Chronicles of Riddick]

"It’s been a long time since I smelt beautiful"
Posted: Wed, 16th Nov 2005, 10:07pm

Post 23 of 48

JohnCarter

Force: 3295 | Joined: 11th Mar 2003 | Posts: 1078

VisionLab User Windows User MacOS User

Gold Member

My personal favorite is from Cabin Fever:

This man asked for our help and we set him on fire!

God did I cry when I heard that one.
Posted: Wed, 16th Nov 2005, 10:14pm

Post 24 of 48

Coureur de Bois

Force: 1394 | Joined: 23rd Sep 2002 | Posts: 1127

VideoWrap User Windows User MacOS User

Gold Member

Kid wrote:


The second was by Senator Jesse 'the body' Ventura in Predator and the third from Shaun of the dead.
...ahem... Governor Jesse "The Body" Ventura...

Carry on.


/Minnesotan
Posted: Wed, 16th Nov 2005, 10:32pm

Post 25 of 48

CX3

Force: 3137 | Joined: 1st Apr 2003 | Posts: 2527

EffectsLab Lite User VideoWrap User MacOS User FXhome Movie Maker

Gold Member

Hands down..

THE WIZARD

"I love the power glove... It's so bad..."

and also

"Super! Mario Brothers! Threeeeee!!!!!!!!!"
Posted: Wed, 16th Nov 2005, 11:10pm

Post 26 of 48

Fill

Force: 1257 | Joined: 1st Jul 2005 | Posts: 1652

CompositeLab Lite User EffectsLab Lite User Windows User

Gold Member

Rating: -3

darkhelmetman wrote:

(hayden cristensen played anakin btw)
OMG NO WAY!! Wow...A new world has been revealed to me!(sarcasm)

This is the funniest topic EVER!! HAHAHA!!
Posted: Wed, 16th Nov 2005, 11:55pm

Post 27 of 48

Harvey

Force: 2050 | Joined: 29th Apr 2005 | Posts: 513

VisionLab User MacOS User

Gold Member

Every single love scene in Episodes II and III.

The "NOOOOOOOOOO" as Waser already mentioned.

And several others that have slipped my mind.
Posted: Thu, 17th Nov 2005, 12:51am

Post 28 of 48

Lithium Kraft

Force: 2728 | Joined: 10th Jun 2005 | Posts: 538

VisionLab User FXpreset Maker Windows User

Gold Member

Stewie Griffin. *he's alone at the airport and a policeman picks him up, saying "you're too young to be traveling alone, aren't you?"*

Stewie: "Damn you! You're one of them, aren't you!? What are they paying you! I'll double it! I'll give you whatever you want! Money! Women! ......men!?"
Posted: Fri, 18th Nov 2005, 12:39pm

Post 29 of 48

drspin98

Force: 470 | Joined: 14th May 2005 | Posts: 438

CompositeLab Pro User EffectsLab Pro User Windows User

Gold Member

Pick any line from "Catwoman". That thing was one cheeseball line after another. When Halle Berry in a tight latex suit can't even save a movie...
Posted: Fri, 18th Nov 2005, 12:52pm

Post 30 of 48

Simon K Jones

Force: 27955 | Joined: 1st Jan 2002 | Posts: 11683

VisionLab User VideoWrap User PhotoKey 5 Pro User MuzzlePlug User PowerPlug User PhotoKey 3 Plug-in User FXhome Movie Maker FXpreset Maker Windows User

FXhome Team Member

Personally I love the dodgy scenes in big, otherwise high quality blockbusters when they randomly introduce a couple of characters to explain the plot/tension for 5 minutes, because the main characters are too busy being shot/stabbed/pulled about/etc.

Two excellent examples of this:

Spider-Man - when Spidey is dangling from the bridge, holding Mary-Jane and the cablecar full of kids. Right on cue, a boat appears down below with a couple of cheerful chappies who shout brilliant lines such as "We're not gonna make it!" and "We're gonna make it!" Classic.

Batman Begins - it stands out even more in this film, because the rest is such an intelligent, thoughtful movie. During the climax, when the microwave emitter goes off, we suddenly get introduced to a couple of good ol' chappies in Wayne Tower who would seem to be in charge of the water mains and plot devices. So we get this old bloke who says repeatedly, every 30 seconds, "if that train gets to us, we're gonna blow!" and "Evacuate the building, it's gonna blow!" and other lines containing the phrase "it's gonna blow!" Brilliant.

Innocent bystanders, who appear to help explain the unlikely action sequence, and who then vanish utterly as soon as the action is finished. Can't beat 'em.
Posted: Fri, 18th Nov 2005, 1:20pm

Post 31 of 48

drspin98

Force: 470 | Joined: 14th May 2005 | Posts: 438

CompositeLab Pro User EffectsLab Pro User Windows User

Gold Member

Tarn-
Great observation! Wonderful perspective, I'll be watching for that in movies from now on.
Posted: Sat, 26th Nov 2005, 6:53pm

Post 32 of 48

Aculag

Force: 8365 | Joined: 21st Jun 2002 | Posts: 8581

EffectsLab Lite User VideoWrap User FXhome Movie Maker MacOS User

Gold Member

Tarn wrote:

Batman Begins
Gordon: I got to get me one of those!
Posted: Sun, 27th Nov 2005, 11:41pm

Post 33 of 48

film freak

Force: 1353 | Joined: 18th Sep 2004 | Posts: 1109

Windows User MacOS User

Member

Harry Potter 4: I love magic.
Posted: Mon, 28th Nov 2005, 10:06pm

Post 34 of 48

obidean

Force: 300 | Joined: 22nd Sep 2004 | Posts: 193

EffectsLab Lite User

Gold Member

film freak wrote:

Harry Potter 4: I love magic.
Lol!

Episode 3: "Only a sith deals in absolutes"
Posted: Mon, 28th Nov 2005, 10:42pm

Post 35 of 48

Pooky

Force: 4834 | Joined: 8th Jul 2003 | Posts: 5913

EffectsLab Lite User Windows User MacOS User FXhome Movie Maker

Gold Member

Aculag wrote:

Tarn wrote:

Batman Begins
Gordon: I got to get me one of those!
Err... isn't that Half-Life 2?
Posted: Mon, 28th Nov 2005, 10:50pm

Post 36 of 48

Simon K Jones

Force: 27955 | Joined: 1st Jan 2002 | Posts: 11683

VisionLab User VideoWrap User PhotoKey 5 Pro User MuzzlePlug User PowerPlug User PhotoKey 3 Plug-in User FXhome Movie Maker FXpreset Maker Windows User

FXhome Team Member

pooky wrote:

Aculag wrote:

Tarn wrote:

Batman Begins
Gordon: I got to get me one of those!
Err... isn't that Half-Life 2?
Seeing as how Freeman never speaks, that seems unlikely.
Posted: Tue, 29th Nov 2005, 1:07am

Post 37 of 48

Fill

Force: 1257 | Joined: 1st Jul 2005 | Posts: 1652

CompositeLab Lite User EffectsLab Lite User Windows User

Gold Member

This isn't from a movie but Arnald Swacheohwhatthehelligiveuptryingtospellhisname said this.

Gay marraige is something that is between a man and a woman.

I don't know what he was smoking that day.
Posted: Tue, 29th Nov 2005, 2:16am

Post 38 of 48

Pooky

Force: 4834 | Joined: 8th Jul 2003 | Posts: 5913

EffectsLab Lite User Windows User MacOS User FXhome Movie Maker

Gold Member

Tarn wrote:

pooky wrote:

Aculag wrote:

Tarn wrote:

Batman Begins
Gordon: I got to get me one of those!
Err... isn't that Half-Life 2?
Seeing as how Freeman never speaks, that seems unlikely.
Oops, I was thinking of Barney neutral
Posted: Tue, 29th Nov 2005, 4:24am

Post 39 of 48

Boyocs

Force: 50 | Joined: 22nd Jun 2005 | Posts: 61

MacOS User

Member

This is a great one from Van Helsing: "You're not leaving 'till I say you can leave, and I say you can leave when your dead."

It doesn't even make sense...
Posted: Tue, 29th Nov 2005, 5:05am

Post 40 of 48

Waser

Force: 4731 | Joined: 7th Sep 2003 | Posts: 3111

VisionLab User VideoWrap User PhotoKey 2 Pro User FXhome Movie Maker Windows User

SuperUser

"Im magic." -Sortie
Posted: Wed, 30th Nov 2005, 6:10pm

Post 41 of 48

Outside Interloper

Force: 0 | Joined: 30th Nov 2005 | Posts: 1

Member

"It's NOT a toomah!"

~ Kindergarten Cop
Posted: Mon, 5th Dec 2005, 11:14pm

Post 42 of 48

Arktic

Force: 9977 | Joined: 10th Nov 2003 | Posts: 2785

VisionLab User VideoWrap User PhotoKey 2 Pro User FXhome Movie Maker FXpreset Maker Windows User MacOS User

SuperUser

From Doom -

"Doesn't it bother you that you could have spent your life looking down a microscope, rather than an sniper-scope" neutral
Posted: Mon, 5th Dec 2005, 11:16pm

Post 43 of 48

Bryce007

Force: 1910 | Joined: 5th Apr 2003 | Posts: 2609

VideoWrap User Windows User

Gold Member

Man...That one had me laughing out loud in the theater.
Posted: Mon, 5th Dec 2005, 11:40pm

Post 44 of 48

Simon K Jones

Force: 27955 | Joined: 1st Jan 2002 | Posts: 11683

VisionLab User VideoWrap User PhotoKey 5 Pro User MuzzlePlug User PowerPlug User PhotoKey 3 Plug-in User FXhome Movie Maker FXpreset Maker Windows User

FXhome Team Member

Arktic wrote:

From Doom -

"Doesn't it bother you that you could have spent your life looking down a microscope, rather than an sniper-scope" neutral
Hehe, we have a winner.

That almost makes it worth going to see. Almost.
Posted: Tue, 6th Dec 2005, 12:38am

Post 45 of 48

Waser

Force: 4731 | Joined: 7th Sep 2003 | Posts: 3111

VisionLab User VideoWrap User PhotoKey 2 Pro User FXhome Movie Maker Windows User

SuperUser

Oh, and "SEMPER FI, MOTHER FU***R" doesn't?
Posted: Wed, 7th Dec 2005, 5:50pm

Post 46 of 48

CurtinParloe

Force: 841 | Joined: 16th Oct 2001 | Posts: 916

EffectsLab Lite User Windows User MacOS User

Gold Member

I watched Total Recall last night, and some of the ad-libbed lines had me in stitches.

Arnie is blowin people away, and one of the guards (who's being killed, probably) shouts "Let's go!" biggrin
Posted: Thu, 8th Dec 2005, 2:40pm

Post 47 of 48

Xcession

Force: 42802 | Joined: 21st Mar 2001 | Posts: 1964

VisionLab User VideoWrap User PhotoKey 3 Pro User Windows User

SuperUser

The entirety of Starwars Episode 1
Posted: Sun, 11th Dec 2005, 6:51am

Post 48 of 48

nanafanboy

Force: 690 | Joined: 1st Sep 2002 | Posts: 345

VideoWrap User FXhome Movie Maker Windows User

Gold Member

Jessica Alba's chracter in "Into the Blue"

to her boyfriend "I beleive in you more than the prospect of any treasure"

The whole freaking theatre started laughing... it was wonderful