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The Best Movies of 2005
as told by waser
10. Dark Water
As some of you know, I am a HUGE fan of Asian cinema. I strive to make movies in the style one day, so naturally I was worried at the "J-Horror" fad gaining steam in Hollywood, especially after The Grudge literally sucked my balls off (sorry Hybrid). Anyway, I went into Dark Water wanting to hate it, but I ended up really liking it, never actually feeling that scared watching it, just really uncomfortable, but then again, that's what makes me love Asian horror films. Contrary to tepid reviews, I thought the directing and photography of this film was really well done, and had solid preformances all around.
9. The Brothers Grimm
Another (of many) ill-reviewed movies to make my top ten of 2005, I felt that this movie was really misunterstood. Beyond having amazing sets and style, I thought this movie was a riot, and felt that it was a worthy film into the already great collection of Gilliam films. It really is beyond me why people hate it so much. In a year that seemed to be plagued with over-done CG effects, I love that this movie used more real props/sets than not. That added to an already funny film made this one work for me.
Before this year, I was never a big fan of Jet Li. I actually thought all his movie up until recently blew ass. That all changed with Unleased. Not only was this the kick ass martial arts/gritty British crime movie I wanted it to be, the drama and comedy of the film were what made it great. Jet Li is hilarious, and his interactions with Morgan Freeman and Kerry Condon are actually touching. I like chicks. I swear.
7. Sin City
This movie really confused me at first, because at the beginning of the year, this was probably on the top of my "Movies I Need To See" list, but after my first viewing of it, I had really ho-hum feelings about it. It wasn't until after seeing it (and some other Rodriguez films) that I understood what this movie was: really really effing cool. Artistically brilliant, amazingly cast, and cool as hell, this movie ended up not disapointing me, it just took a few more times seeing the film.
6. The Aristocrats
I'd bet my life that maybe three or four people here at fxhome saw this movie, or even know what it iss. It's sort of hard to explain, but the movie's humor just tended to my exact needs. I probably didn't laugh this hard at any other movie (save Kung Fu Hustle) in the past 5 years. If you don't know what an Aristocrats joke is, do some reasearch. The only problem with this movie is that after seeing it, I can't stop telling the joke after having a few drinks.
5. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Alright. I'm a Harry Potter nerd, and since I knew the book like the back of my foot, certain omissions didn't bother me in the slightest. PS, Finnes as Voldemort MADE this film. Cannot wait for him in Order of the Pheonix. Anyone who has read the book knows what I'm talking about.
4. War of the Worlds
When War of the Worlds came out, it was a dark time for me and my interest in movies. It was right after Episode III, Batman Begins and Sin City, all of which at their releases failed to excite me. War of the Worlds however jolted me back into the spirit. Seeing that first tripod come out of the ground was exactly what I needed to see. I will admit that this film has problems, and the VERY end does suck nuts, but despite all that, this movie saved my faith in movies as a whole for the year, and made the following 6 months much more enjoyable for me.
3. The Ring Two
Possibly the most critically hated movie on my list, this movie, in my single, lonesome opinion, is utterly fantastic. I saw this movie at a midnight release, and loved it so much, but the next day, all I heard about was how much everyone hated it. I went and saw it again under the advice of one of my friends who hated it, but I ended up liking it more the second time. It probably helps that I eat and breath The Ring. I loved the japanese originals, and adore Verbinski's remake, so I was totally into this sequel. I bought the unrated dvd, and I think the added footage made the movie much better, developing Simon Baker's character much more heavily. That probably means that you'd all hate it more anyway though.
2. Kung Fu Hustle
Technically, this movie came out in 2004, but it hit the US this year early on, and what a way to start it out. I dare say that this movie might be the most entertaining film I have ever seen. It literally has everything that I want in a film. Subtle comedy, crude comedy, hilarious references, kick ass action, and some drama. I complain allot about the over use of CG, and you'd be hard pressed to fins a more CG laden film, but this movie was so much like a live-action cartoon, it just worked. I want to make movies like this one day.
1. King Kong
The perfect way to end the year: the best movie. I was worried going in, as this one was on my "must see" list since I heard about it almost ten years ago. the orignal King Kong has a special place in my heart, as one of my first memories EVER is of watching that movie when I was 3 years old, and crying at the end (peter jackson ripped my story off). I think that the new Kong is much better than the first, and in my opinion, fixed many of the original's pacing problems. As I said recently, I dont think there is another movie out there like the 2005 Kong, and doubt there will be for quite some time.
Oldboy- This movie came out here in 2005, but I saw it in 2004, and even though it's one of the best movies I have ever seen, I put it on my top ten last year. Sorry.
Land of the Dead- I thought this movie was a joke the first time I saw it. Then I actually watched the first three "dead" movies, and the lead up to it quite well.
Batman Begins- One of the big hitters of this year, it just failed to wow me like many other films. Still, a really cool movie none the less.
A History of Violence-Really cool, but really wierd. WARNING: This film contains the king of all men's butt crack.
The 40 Year Old Virgin - Good natured naughty humor ended up being funny. w00t.
March of the Penquins- Penguins are cute lol!
The WORST Movies of 2005
Warning: If your dream is to make out with Tim Burton, skip this section
Guh. This movie was lame action coupled with a story that had no meaning behind it while pretending to be deep.
The Exorcism of Emily Rose
Actually, to say I hated this film is unfair. As cliche as it sounds, I haven't laughed this hard at a movie that wasn't meant to be funny in a long time. Seriously, that scene where she jumps out the window was like something out of a Wes Anderson film. Fantastic. I mean horrible.
I swear this movie came out last year, but I guess it didn't. Either way, it blew. It tried to imitate asian horror, and failed. As with any Micheal Keaton film, it would have been better if it had been about him being cloned 5 times.
One of the only movies I have ever walked out of. I payed $1.50 to see this, and still felt ripped off (hehe, im funny). It's disgusting attempt to re-create "real" dialogue was pathetic, and made it feel like a 90 minute Burger King commercial (you know, the ones where they try to make awkward situations, and hilarity ensues).
This movie, to me, was the last dying breath of the emo fad. I'm a huge fan of Nightmare Before Christmas, but this movie was just made to cash in on hot topic t-shirt sales, and it looked like it worked. The movie was met with critical acclaim, despite the unoriginal character design and horrible songs. Bleh. I'd spit on Tim Burton, but I have just one more....
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
This is without a doubt in my mind the worst movie of the year, and possibly one of the worst films I have ever seen. Looking past the stupid design, sh**ty CG, horrible songs, and grandpa joe, nothing made me more pissed off than Depp as wonka. He acted like my ex-emo-freak-girlfriend, which made me really uncomfortable (not the good kind, like in Dark Water). This movie and corpse bride have soiled my faith in Burton 100%. The next time one of his movies comes out, I will literally have no faith in it. No! I don't care. The damage done by these two films is irreversable. Suck it Burton. I hate you.
BIGGEST DISAPOINTMENT OF THE YEAR
Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
This movie is by no means bad, infact, it's pretty good, but the thing is, I don't know if I can ever forgive it for not wowing me the first time I saw it. You all know (or at least some of you do) that I am a devout star wars fan. Like my body is composed of 50% Water, 30% Muscle, and 20% Star Wars. The thing is, I still feel pained from thinking about how i felt after seeing it the first time (im not kidding, I actually felt depressed after seeing the film). After seeing it about 5 more times, I know it's pretty good, but it will never be as good as the movie I thought I was going to see.
hmmm. I feel much better. What do you think of 2005?
Waser sits down, legs crossed, and listens.