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You Mocked Me,... You Despised Me

Posted: Sat, 6th May 2006, 9:55pm

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lennydee

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About 6months ago I asked you all for some advice on a website I was Building to promote my business of photographer and short film maker. I submitted my precious site to ridicule when I meekly
sought the opinion of my fellow film making enthusiast. You mocked me, you despised me and you even refused to click on me, I skulked off into the twighlight of depression, clutching my faithful copy of the Failure Times and muttering," revenge", under my rancid breath.
When all of sudden . on a hot muggy, cold frosty day in january, I eventually finished my copy of "Website buiding For Complete Losers". I took a deep breath and went to bed for a week. when I awoke , I set about creating A new Website and as Idid last Time, I again would like you to give me your most valued opinions and advice. The site as you will see is very much "A work in progress", So do not be to hurtful or I will skulk off again. But please tell the truth and offer suggestions the site is www.douglasfilmproductions.co.uk please feedback
Posted: Sat, 6th May 2006, 9:59pm

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SMB

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firslty, please down post two topics the same


secondly, id be happy to help you with your site, and apologies for people that may have slagged your site off, it isnt easy making a site.


ok, all i can say is go to www.freewebs.com you can make a really nice site veryquickly


*P.S your current site is having server issues

regards,
SMB
Posted: Sat, 6th May 2006, 9:59pm

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Nagual

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Well, it would seem that your site is experiencing some problems just now..

wrote:

If you are a member of the general public:

The fact that you are seeing this page indicates that the website you just visited is either experiencing problems, or is undergoing routine maintenance.
Posted: Sat, 6th May 2006, 10:00pm

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SMB

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OMFG

we posted at same time, exactly, WOW

sorry
Posted: Sat, 6th May 2006, 10:01pm

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Nagual

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SMB wrote:

OMFG

we posted at same time, exactly, WOW

sorry
Why say sorry? There are a full 60 seconds in a minute, plus everyone has the right to say something... opinions and all that jazz... smile
Posted: Sat, 6th May 2006, 10:06pm

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Sollthar

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I eventually finished my copy of "Website buiding For Complete Losers"
Did the book suggest your site should be having server problems when you post it? smile
Posted: Sat, 6th May 2006, 10:17pm

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Aculag

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Consider yourself mocked.

12212012
Posted: Sat, 6th May 2006, 11:12pm

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A Pickle

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lennydee wrote:

You Mocked Me,... You Despised Me
[/anakin]

I'm hard-pressed to help you with your site with an entrance like that. Secondly, you make unbased accusations -- if we "mocked you" and "despised you," then you may provide to us a link to the thread in which we did, no?

Respectfully, six months ago this community would not have mocked you or despised you. A year ago this community wouldn't have. I would even maintain that this community wouldn't have mocked you or despised you no matter what timeframe you place. Given the structure and manner in which you composed this post, I'm finding extremely difficult to find the motivation to help you with your website, out of the goodness of my heart. If you wanted to avoid being despised and mocked, you chose a fairly poor way to do so.

Pickle out.
Posted: Sat, 6th May 2006, 11:18pm

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Arktic

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Pickle... maybe, just maybe, there was a hint of tongue-in-cheek irony from lennydee?
Posted: Sat, 6th May 2006, 11:20pm

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Sollthar

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Maybe, just maybe, A Pickle has no sense for tongue-in-cheek irony?
Posted: Sat, 6th May 2006, 11:44pm

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Nagual

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Maybe, just maybe
Posted: Sun, 7th May 2006, 1:24am

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lennydee

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Give me a break chaps....Try this go to msn .com

Type www.douglasfilmproductions.co.uk into search engine

and then tell me what happens and my tongue was well ensconced in my cheek
Posted: Sun, 7th May 2006, 1:28am

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shadowninja1028

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Figured out why its not working. http://www.douglasfilmproductions.co.uk/home.html you have to include the /home.html at the end of the address.
Posted: Sun, 7th May 2006, 1:42am

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DigiSm89

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shadowninja1028 wrote:

Figured out why its not working. http://www.douglasfilmproductions.co.uk/home.html you have to include the /home.html at the end of the address.
I'm sorry, but I have to laugh out loud.



MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAH x100

That is the most hilarious site ever. biggrin


EDIT: But if this isn't a joke....I'd seriously suggest using a template at this point.
Posted: Sun, 7th May 2006, 1:49am

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Mellifluous

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That's quite an offputting site. There's lots of things going on on the pages, too many animated .gifs, and too many random adverts in bad places.

I suggest looking at other sites offering services similar to yours and learn what makes a good site. Type "video production" in google and you'll find a lot of sites. Here's a couple I randomly found:

http://www.growlerdigital.com/index.htm
http://www.sevenpointproductions.com/index.htm

The Growler Digital one is extremely basic, but with your skill level I suggest you go for a similar look. Notice the simplicity, simple colours, simple layout etc.

If you stick with the current one, I doubt if you'll get any customers
Posted: Sun, 7th May 2006, 2:46am

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Pooky

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Simplicity is the key... remember that.

I'm afraid that you seem to not have finished reading "Website building for complete losers" wink
Posted: Sun, 7th May 2006, 2:56am

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brennanmceachran

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My advice would be:

1. Less images. When there is alot of images, all wit different colors it becomes an eye sore.
2. Make it less cluttered. It makes it hard to read.
3. Make it more to the point. I think on average people spend about 7 seconds on a site(excluding fxhome), you want to get all your information across to potencial customers in those seven seconds and try to get them to stay longer.
4. Make it look more proffesional, like Mellifluous said, check other sites with offering similar services.
Posted: Sun, 7th May 2006, 3:03am

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TimmyD

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mVPstar wrote:

shadowninja1028 wrote:

Figured out why its not working. http://www.douglasfilmproductions.co.uk/home.html you have to include the /home.html at the end of the address.
I'm sorry, but I have to laugh out loud.



MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAH x100

That is the most hilarious site ever. biggrin


EDIT: But if this isn't a joke....I'd seriously suggest using a template at this point.
That times a few billion.
Posted: Sun, 7th May 2006, 3:31am

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Serpent

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I wish I had this epic of a quest to finish a website. However, you have not completed yours. You need to buy volume II of that series because you have a bit to learn.

I would seriously just find a template or use PHP Nuke, or Post Nuke as your learning HTML. Avoiding ads is really easy, just pay a little and find a good server. Just search Google for "Simple Free Web Templates" or something of the sort and just look around. Personal art sites are good to keep simple if it is just a gallery of your work providing: clean and easy interface that is pleasing to the eyes, content for each section of the site including video and pictures, contact information, an "about" bio page, and have the main page be a news section where you list updates. Something like this:
http://atomised-entertainment.d7hosting.com/

This is my preference and most people's preference for a personal art site. But yours looks like a small town business made a website on an old computer in Microsoft Word and threw it on Geocities and then altered the code to mess it up on purpose and then you accidently signed up for advertising from 36% of the companies that advertise on the internet ever. It's pretty easy to find a way to have a nice site, and if you can't do it yourself, find a designer. I found a free one and my site looks pretty nice I think:

http://cpostudios.com
Posted: Sun, 7th May 2006, 2:30pm

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TimmyD

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Simple is definatley better. And try to go with a color scheme that isnt from 1996. Here's a site im in charge of: www.chelmsfordswimandtennis.org. It's simple, has a basic color scheme, and does the job it's supposed to. Thats all you need.
Posted: Sun, 7th May 2006, 2:37pm

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Joshua Davies

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If you were going for some kinda retro-mid-90s CompuServe home page then I think you nailed it.

I'm pretty sure this website is just a joke right? To be honest as I'm not sure how anyone could make one which is so bad in so many ways - this might even be the worst website I've ever seen crazy . If it is not a joke then I think you need to really rethink what you're doing and good luck with the next version.

There are too many problems to list but here are some of the main ones.
1) Design - Your site has no defined sections, and no flow at all. Just going to the home page (http://www.douglasfilmproductions.co.uk/home.html) seems to have some kinda MASSIVE title at the top with text you can hardly read (see point 3) and a sort menu section on the left (although the text overflows on to the main content section for some reason and doesn't seem to be the same when I change pages). In the main content section you then have title boxes (i think) which are not aligned and just create no direction in the flow of the content at all (top to bottom? left to right?). If you navigate away from the home page things just get even worse.
2) Images & Adverts - Just chucking every single animated gif and advert on your page anywhere they will fit does not make a good website - in fact it makes a terrible amateur website. What exactly is this website meant to be, is it for a business? If so then all the adverts make it look totally amateur in every way. Even if its not for a business you might as well drop the adverts because a) they look dire b) you never really make much money from them. If you insist on having adverts then use Google ads in a neat strip down one side and thats it. It looks like you are trying advertise making films and website yet, from this example, you don't seem to be able to make websites (well not design them anyway) and a bunch of badly formatted text doesn't really show you can make films either.
3) Text - Your font, colours and backgrounds to those colours often make it near impossible to read any context. This is like the first rule of webdesign - make content easy on the eye.

Sorry that all seems so negative. To finish on a positive statement : there seems to be some reasonable Photoshop work going on in the title background at the top (not that you can see it as its covered in ads and text).

Last edited Sun, 7th May 2006, 2:55pm; edited 2 times in total.

Posted: Sun, 7th May 2006, 2:39pm

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Atom

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Dear God.













This guy is hilarious. His webpage looks like a google page search go wrong. And all those crappy adverts..........ugh.
Posted: Mon, 8th May 2006, 3:38pm

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Z28Jerry

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MY EYES....MY EYES.....I'M BLIND..........


There is a link on there, he offers website building if you like what you see.....

http://www.douglasfilmproductions.co.uk/WEBSITE%20BUILDING.html

Hands down, the best thread in FXHome history. Please close this, bronze it, and put it on a pedistool so that we may admire it again and again in the years to come.....
Posted: Mon, 8th May 2006, 3:46pm

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Xcession

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Oh dear. Your design skills amount to nothing more than drowning your content in third party ads and your code has clearly been shat out by some mediocre WYSIWYG editor with no concept of semantic markup. On the plus-side though, your unique brand of design would be right at home in 1993.

I'm usually the first to give a detailed critique of people's sites, but i'm forced to conclude this is some kind of sick joke, so i won't bother.
Posted: Mon, 8th May 2006, 4:57pm

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SyroVision

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Guys your being harsh...

if he removes out 2 out of every 3 gifs on that page he will have....

omg like 10 to many... that is alot of gifs!


But seriously... just simplify it, It is okay to have text buttons on a page.

Rule of thumb : If you have alot of "neat" things together, they become "un-neat"

eg. special effects, less is more... the more sfx u see the less impact they have...


The more animated buttons and words you have the more the person wants to close the page in fear or retanal retardation.

Just cut down on the images and you'll have your self a nice starter sight. no joke
Posted: Mon, 8th May 2006, 5:01pm

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Xcession

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Yes in essence its possible to have too much of a good thing.

And where the 'good thing' is animated gifs or clipart buttons... which in themselves are NOT a good thing, you begin to get where i'm going with this...
Posted: Mon, 8th May 2006, 5:46pm

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Aculag

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I'm gonna have to go ahead and mock you again.
Posted: Mon, 8th May 2006, 7:48pm

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Hybrid-Halo

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Aculag wrote:

I'm gonna have to go ahead and mock you again.
Seconded.
Posted: Mon, 8th May 2006, 9:10pm

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Z28Jerry

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yup. don't mind if I do too.........
Posted: Mon, 8th May 2006, 10:05pm

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Bryce007

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Alright guys, you caught me. I'm actually Lennydee and I was conducting an elaborate research project for school on forums.
Posted: Mon, 8th May 2006, 10:22pm

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Sollthar

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Alright guys, you caught me. I'm actually Lennydee and I was conducting an elaborate research project for school on forums.
Heh, somehow I think this is going to be the running gag now... smile
Posted: Mon, 8th May 2006, 10:53pm

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Atom

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No kidding.
Posted: Mon, 8th May 2006, 11:05pm

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DigiSm89

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Bryce007 wrote:

Alright guys, you caught me. I'm actually Lennydee and I was conducting an elaborate research project for school on forums.
So...

can you actually make sites that aren't so laughable?
Posted: Tue, 9th May 2006, 4:10am

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Bryce007

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mVP, that was a Parody of another thread i read yesterday..I'm not Lennydee, and theres no possible way i could allow myself to create a website that visually aggravating..
Posted: Thu, 18th May 2006, 12:40am

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Aculag

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Bryce007 wrote:

mVP, that was a Parody of another thread i read yesterday..I'm not Lennydee, and theres no possible way i could allow myself to create a website that visually aggravating..
Unless you were pretending to be Lennydee, right?
Posted: Thu, 18th May 2006, 1:23am

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Bryce007

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Precisely Aculag....Precisely.
Posted: Thu, 18th May 2006, 11:19pm

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the new godfather

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funny ha ha............
Posted: Fri, 19th May 2006, 4:55am

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irishcult

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Rating: -2

HAHAHAHAA Wooooo that was a laugh and a half. Maybe if you wanted to prove ur point u could have backed it up with something other then a crap load of gif's and NOOOOO TEMPLATE what so ever. Great job man i think i could have made just about that same site when i was 7. But keep trin u'll find friends someday.
Posted: Fri, 19th May 2006, 5:00am

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the new godfather

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dont be disrespectful
Posted: Fri, 19th May 2006, 5:01am

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Bryce007

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..funny how?, I mean funny like I'm a clown, like I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to f-ckin' amuse you?

(EDIT: Goodfella's reference incase you think...Nm)


(Also..Let me further clarify I'm not lennydee..)

Last edited Fri, 19th May 2006, 5:05am; edited 1 times in total.

Posted: Fri, 19th May 2006, 5:02am

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the new godfather

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settle settle......yes
Posted: Thu, 25th May 2006, 3:46pm

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irishcult

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Yeah you’re right sorry for the disrespect but when you launch a site and then advertise it I expect a few things. First I expect content that works and is the owner of the website's own content, Second some type of lay out. But yea I’m sorry. You will get there someday.
Posted: Thu, 25th May 2006, 6:55pm

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DigiSm89

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irishcult wrote:

Yeah you’re right sorry for the disrespect but when you launch a site and then advertise it I expect a few things. First I expect content that works and is the owner of the website's own content, Second some type of lay out. But yea I’m sorry. You will get there someday.
Except the site was not meant to be taken as real.
Posted: Thu, 25th May 2006, 7:14pm

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Bryce007

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Again...When i said i was "Conducting an experiment", I was parodying another thread. This wasn't a test. That dude "Lennydee" Actually made that site, and it was serious. I was just kidding around. this is seriously lennydee's site according to him..
Posted: Tue, 30th May 2006, 12:01pm

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Penguin

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Sollthar wrote:

Maybe, just maybe, A Pickle has no sense for tongue-in-cheek irony?
maybe
Posted: Tue, 30th May 2006, 3:00pm

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Penguin

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irishcult wrote:

HAHAHAHAA Wooooo that was a laugh and a half. Maybe if you wanted to prove ur point u could have backed it up with something other then a crap load of gif's and NOOOOO TEMPLATE what so ever. Great job man i think i could have made just about that same site when i was 7. But keep trin u'll find friends someday.
How come they wiped out my comments about katamaris but they havent gotten rid of this one?