Posted: Tue, 17th Jul 2007, 9:33am
Post 1 of 33
|A young man finds himself oblivious to who he is or who he was. But upon the discovery of his frailties in life he is brought to the inner question, does a darkened past forever clutch a faded future?|
filmed with: Canon Gl2
Actors: all 14 paid with food
Posted: Tue, 17th Jul 2007, 8:30pm
Post 2 of 33
VERY WELL MADE BRAVO ill give it a 5
Last edited Tue, 17th Jul 2007, 8:34pm; edited 1 times in total.
Posted: Tue, 17th Jul 2007, 10:41pm
Post 3 of 33
That movie was really great. Very professional looking. There were only a few problems. Some of the early shots when he first wakes up and is heading to the door are a little too quick to change. Some of the acting is a little weak. But beyond those minor things it was great. Shots were very well framed and I loved the use of Depth-Of-Field. The variety in shots was nice too (Some close, some long but not boring). Really great. 5/5 from me. Keep making more!
Posted: Tue, 17th Jul 2007, 11:35pm
Post 4 of 33
I agree that this movie was great looking. You obviously put alot of time and effort into it. Extra kudos to you for having the guts to pull out a handgun on a public street. My only real complaint is the story. I never really felt connected with the main character. He steals, beats women, runs with a gang, and murders people. We never see him try to get away from the bad stuff and become a good guy. Apparently he "ratted out" his fellow members. Who did he talk to? The police? Another gang? Why did he do that? Things looked really bad, but what made him want to kill himself? At that point in the movie, I didn't care if he lived or died because I thought he was a bad guy. The only "good" thing he did was pay for some girl's ticket. He just paid for the ticket and left. Maybe if you established earlier on in some kind of flashback that he wanted to "clean up" and lead a good life, it would have flowed a little easier. I'm also still unclear on how he lost his memory and identification in the first place. Other than that, I think it was a great looking film. Next time with a better story and better characters, you'll really knock one out of the park.
Posted: Wed, 18th Jul 2007, 12:45am
Post 5 of 33
Awesome. In my opinion 2nd best movie on fxhome besides "between the lines". Only problem was some of the acting, the main character was good though and good actors are hard to come by.
5/5 also what camera did you use, I'm guessing gl2 since thats what your profile is...
Posted: Wed, 18th Jul 2007, 1:25am
Post 6 of 33
This has a very nice visual sense to it! I'd say the photography is the films strongest asset, as the shots are nicely composited and edited with a good flow. I really liked this.
Unfortunately, the story didn't manage to draw me in. I was left in the dark for too long as to what was actually happening for the full impact to unfold. The actor did a fine job though!
The sounddesign was pretty clean as well, which is a rare thing I always enjoy.
All in all, I'd say this was a 4 for me and I'm really looking forward to your next!
Posted: Wed, 18th Jul 2007, 8:25am
Post 7 of 33
Hey there. Sollthar beat me to most of my opinions.
So as previously mentioned the photography is very good. There were a few shots that didn't do it for me, but even more that did so thumps up.
Editing was overall good, it felt abit choppy in the "running-action-scenes" especially some shots which you could make out that he began running in the begnining of the take, some tighter editing there would've helped.
Also just have to throw it out, there was one scene were the main character was walking down the street and you pulled to focus on some random guy walking by, did we see him again in the film? cause it left me thinking he would have something to do with the story to follow since you really focused on him. it left me very confused..
The sounddesign was cleaver but i think the echoing was abit overused and i'd rather seen more when the story start to build up. Overall, technically i think it's very good, the lack here is in the script.
It didn't build up to anything at the end, the structure felt abit off and never got to the point where i was thinking "damn, this guy needs to get his life back togheter".. you could do alot with this story, i just don't think you developed it as much as you could have. leaving me, and some other not really giving a damn about this guy.
I did enjoy the film, I definitely recomend it to other chaps around here. Overall very good work.
It could've been more now it's just enough!
Looking forward to the next one! Good work!
Posted: Wed, 18th Jul 2007, 4:36pm
Post 8 of 33
that was a very good peice i found it very entertaining. all of the unique camera angles really made the film cool. i like how you ended it, if it were me i would had made him go KABOOM but yours was alot better. i like how you added the little uote at the end aswell. i gave it 5/5
Posted: Wed, 18th Jul 2007, 5:27pm
Post 9 of 33
I think the film was very well done.
Only a couple of minor things that stand out to me. The "running chase" that has been referred to as choppy, I personally thought it was fine. I liked how the chase was presented. However, there were two things that I did not get in the film.
First, the passing guy that came into focus, which has already been pointed out. It drew attention to him and I expected something to happen with that guy. Second, I did not understand why the traffic stopped the chase. I mean these guys were just shooting weapons on a public street and now the stop the chase due to traffic?!? I did not understand that.
Regardless, nice film, great job, great production.
Posted: Wed, 18th Jul 2007, 8:01pm
Post 10 of 33
I echo Andreas' and Sollthar's remarks. While I loved the stylistic choice for the movie, it felt a little dragged-out for how uninvolved I felt.
Still, great stuff that I look forward to seeing more of.
Posted: Thu, 19th Jul 2007, 2:22am
Post 11 of 33
I really liked the opening sequences, the establishing shots of the city. Great stuff.
The editing worked very nicely, and the main actor did a great job. The only comment on filming him would be when he’s walking around the city for the first third of the movie, he’s looking at the ground too much.
You had a lot of great locations that you shot in especially the train station.
The audio for the speaking parts were a little low and made it feel uneven to the rest of the audio.
I’m not sure I understood the story overall and how the girl at the train station ties into the bigger picture. But I did like the technical aspects of the filming of this.
Posted: Thu, 19th Jul 2007, 6:08am
Post 12 of 33
To start, short films should not have opening credits. The intention is to look professional and experienced but it comes off the opposite. The shots of the train and the city are interesting but whats the purpose? it doesn't push the story anywere. Theres a blooper at the beginning when he wakes up he looks through his wallet.. theres no blood on his hands and when he gets to the door his hand (that didn't touch the knob) is covered in blood. It was never made clear how he got amnesia either. waaaaay to much random walking around without pushing the story or adding anything. If his gang friend wants money from that guy why'd he kill him? Although I liked that guys performance (the one who shot the druggie/poor dude). and the whole end (post barrel in the mouth) seemed forced and or out of place. All in all, good shots, i enjoyed the acting but a lot of unneccasary stuff. oh and your end credits are just way to long. There was 6 min of opening/closing credits for an 11 minute movie... long credits and opening sequences give off the impression you think really highly of your own work.. let the audience be the judge. Lord Dagon has spoken.
Posted: Thu, 19th Jul 2007, 7:03am
Post 13 of 33
The credits were an issue before I hosted them, as I did fear on Zephlon's behalf that people would view the film negatively after 4 minutes of end credits - but the above overall positive comments suggests people don't really care.
I thought the film's visual style is good and your depth of field shots were very effective in bringing this above normal fare at Fxhome - it's definitely a film by a filmmaker. As you know, I thought some of the indoor grading didn't look great and wasn't consistent.
I also agree with others above that the plot/structure was difficult at times to understand. It confused me in its style because it felt like the plot was going in one direction, but then went on in another. I think you have a plot of the film worked out in your mind, and what's going on, but lost a little bit in communicating that onscreen. The ending is effective once one realises what the film is about. But it took a text at the end to say this, not the film itself. Which shouldn't be the case.
Posted: Thu, 19th Jul 2007, 9:51am
Post 14 of 33
Thank you all for the reviews. Honestly I’m really surprised, I was expecting a lot worse rating, then when I checked the internet I was blown off my feet.
When I wrote the story I wanted to make something completely different than most things done on FXhome. So the story was made to be “untelling”. You are supposed to know exactly what the main character knows, which isn’t much. He doesn’t know why he has amnesia, except it has something to do with “his last job”. (lavalamp69 he didn’t rat the guys out they just thought he did because he disappeared for so long, that part of dialogue was to show he had no REAL friends) He knows that he did those bad things through the flash backs but that’s it, he doesn’t really know the purpose, and neither do you. And in the end you aren’t suppose to like the guy but you also don’t hate him because those bad things aren’t really “him” per say, it’s the “old him” so he kind of has an innocence to him. And then in the end his “old” life is so bad and corrupt he has the choice to end it…. but he decides not to, and then he helps that girl. The girl is a nobody, no one important, and giving her money is a very small act… but it is a new beginning for him.
As some have said “story lost in communicating”, that’s my bad
Garrison: “he’s looking at the ground too much”
-he is depressed and confused, I look at the ground when I’m depressed, that’s the reason
Andreas, & Sollthar: “focus on some random guy walking by”
-it was supposed to focus on the main character looking at the guy. But I didn’t really think too much about it drawing to much focus to the random dude
Neoglitz: “I did not understand why the traffic stopped the chase”
-The traffic just paused him, the lead gang guy then attempted to go after him still but the second guy warned him of the cops, and that stopped the chase
RebornProductions: “I'm guessing gl2”
Lord Dagon: “The shots of the train and the city are interesting but whats the purpose”
-its establishing location, cutting to the inside of a dorm room doesn’t explain anything
Thank you all for the constructive criticism
Posted: Fri, 20th Jul 2007, 4:00am
Post 15 of 33
I hate to be a stickler, but the 3rd song used, you forgot to cite. You said music from James Newton Howard, but the 3rd song was from Michael Andrews on the Donnie Darko Soundtrack. That was the only thing that caught my attention, but other than that it was a good production.
Posted: Fri, 20th Jul 2007, 4:04am
Post 16 of 33
Also, a stronger lead actor would have pushed the story more intensely, but other that it was good.
Posted: Fri, 20th Jul 2007, 5:39am
Post 17 of 33
zekesharthole: "but the 3rd song used, you forgot to cite"
The song actually is in the end credits as "philosophy of time travel - composed by Micheal Andrews". James Newton Howard composed over 70% of the songs in the movie so i just put his name in the opening credits. but thanks for being thorough, it forced me to go look at my credits and make sure i did cite it, thanks
Posted: Fri, 20th Jul 2007, 2:32pm
Post 18 of 33
Very nicely done!! I finally- after reading the reviews, told myself to devote the 16 minutes to watching it-well worth it!
My favorite two shots- the towel being pulled off the rack and the camera shake when he runs across the street.
Was it perfect?-certainly not, there are a few things I would have changed-The main fellow did an adequate job-but I don't think he looked disoriented enough-especially when he first woke up. Also a "tough" guy like that-or really most guys would not say "ouch" when scratched by a girl-especially during BF/GF fight.
The guy selling tickets would have definitely looked at the guy who gave the girl the $ and that same girl did a "camera look" while "Kent" and she were talking afterwords.
The "tough-guys" were weaksause. Those two powder puffs would not have scared my Grandmother. The kid who they shot no way in Hell would have told them he "spent the money"-even he didnt seem scared.
The shot on the bus stop glass-perfect!!
Having seen this I can honestly say that you really know a thing or two about this whole film making thing. I expect to see more great things from you!
Sorry if my criticisms seemed a bit nit-picky, it's probably just my attempt to make myself seem smarter than I am-LOL.
Posted: Fri, 20th Jul 2007, 2:50pm
Post 19 of 33
I agree with most of what's been said already. One thing I would add, though: find yourself a composer, right now! While the music in this all sounded great (obviously), it was also obviously culled from various other places, and was clearly not original.
Given the high quality of the rest of the production and the clear efforts to create a defined style, with decent camerawork, writing, acting, etc, it's a shame that you then skimped on the music.
With an original score, this would truly stand out as a very good piece of work.
Posted: Sat, 21st Jul 2007, 12:19am
Post 20 of 33
Ditto what everyone else said. Very nicely done film. Very professional looking in its cinematography. Though I might add that the sound outside the train station got drowned out a bit, but that's a hard thing to control when you're outside in a public place. This definitely gets 5/5 from me!
Posted: Sat, 21st Jul 2007, 6:14am
Post 21 of 33
I must say, very well done! Great Cinematography! The acting and script were very solid, and James Newton Howard's scores were a great accompany.
Posted: Sun, 22nd Jul 2007, 6:32am
Post 22 of 33
Tarn wrote:I agree with most of what's been said already. One thing I would add, though: find yourself a composer
Posted: Mon, 23rd Jul 2007, 12:42pm
Post 23 of 33
Whilst this is amongst the best work on fxhome. In terms of technical style and delivery, it does lack in the areas aforementioned by some members. I'm not a fan of 'handheld 24 style' camerawork, its never done it for me and just reminds me that the brilliance of creative and gentle cinematography movement is being forgotten against the rashness of this new fast moving 'in your face' style... however, I can see how it can be effective, and in most shots where you have used it, its worked well! So bravo.
I could nitpick, but I recognise the effort and your budget involved so I have to congratulate you on placing this together! Its worthy of a five here at fxhome and I watched the full sixteen minutes. I would take heart of the advice people have given and concentrate on some of the keys aspects, I hardly heard any sound/foley/effects throughout, was this due to post-production dialogue? Also, what did you edit up the credits in?
5/5 - very impressive and enjoyable. The story leaves much to be desired for, but the heart and talent is definitely there.
Posted: Tue, 24th Jul 2007, 10:45pm
Post 24 of 33
Amazing bro. everything was on point. where are u guys from? i'd luv to work with you.
Posted: Wed, 25th Jul 2007, 7:56am
Post 25 of 33
Er-no: "I hardly heard any sound/foley/effects throughout"
-There actually was a lot of foley done. I had 30 tracks for the movie and at least 2 where used all the time (not including music). Why you didn't notice it i don't know, it could be the crappy audio compression but when it plays in 5.1 surround at my home, you can hear it!
Er-no: "what did you edit up the credits in? "
-The credits where done in adobe premiere pro 2.0 the same as the movie
the NEW SEEntertainment: "where are u guys from?"
-the company and all its 2 parteners
and the actors are all from Monument, Colorado. its 30 min down from Denver
And again thank you all for the amazing critiques, they help aton
Posted: Sun, 29th Jul 2007, 11:06am
Post 26 of 33
This movie was very well done, and I liked many parts of it.
The story itself was not that original, but it is quite hard to come up with something, and I congratulate you on your fine result.
Yet, there is a couple of mistakes that made me think: "Did they run out of time or something, as this seems like it was done in an hour."
This was specially at the train station or whatever it was (not outside, because that was slightly better, but inside). When the girl was given the money, she did not even hesitate to look upon the person; she just turned around and gave it to the guy selling the tickets. That, without doubt, made me wonder why you did not take that shot again, because, in my opinion, that was really awful. I'm not trying to sound negative, because the movie in all was really well done, but if that scene was to have come earlier in the movie, I would have been in doubt about watching the rest.
I liked how the photography was done. You achieved quite a few nice shots, but some of them told us nothing and was pointless to have there. Even so, you managed to get it on its way and produce something interesting.
Sound was fine, and as told before, the train station could really have been better, but it is hard to control unless you have recorded a separate lip sync later and all that.
In the end, I decided to give this a 5, because compared to most other things on FXhome, it sure deserves it.
Posted: Sun, 29th Jul 2007, 8:13pm
Post 27 of 33
I really like that you guys hand-held the camera. I always enjoy watching movies that have been filmed without a tripod.
Good job! Your movie is of great quality.
Posted: Wed, 1st Aug 2007, 8:17am
Post 28 of 33
Sarkilas: "she did not even hesitate to look upon the person"
-I agree with you 100% and we did re shoot it many times. The biggest problem was that the ticket man was a random guy in the station that i asked to act for me (the real ticket guys did not want to do it) so i did not want to take up all his time. so we were rushed and also it was very hard for me to communicate exactly what i wanted with the actor (in the script it mentions a pause but it didn't make much sense to the actor) But for a Junior in high School she wasn't bad and although it turned out a lot faster paced then what i wanted, its to late now, and something i need to watch for in my next movie. But good catch and you don't sound negative at all, thanks
Posted: Fri, 3rd Aug 2007, 6:08pm
Post 29 of 33
I understand the problems you had during the shooting. Just make sure next time that whoever that is going to act in your movie, make sure that you tell them your schedule and be more strict
Not as in being angry, but like tell it to them. Do this and that. I mean, you're the director, you're the man
Good luck with future projects,
Posted: Sun, 5th Aug 2007, 10:13am
Post 30 of 33
I thought is was a good film. It was well made. The story is a little confusing but I think I got the jist of it.
Well done guys'
Posted: Thu, 9th Oct 2008, 12:27pm
Post 31 of 33
I like how the music and the rest of the film went together - awesome job on that, and...interesting film...
Posted: Fri, 10th Oct 2008, 3:52am
Post 32 of 33
Amazing. Like was stated by Tarn, you do need to find yourself a composer (which gives you the power to sell this, too,) but it was thoroughly enjoyable. Nitpicks aside, I give you 5/5.
Posted: Tue, 28th Jul 2009, 9:56am
Post 33 of 33