I've got to be honest - I wasn't quite "feeling" this. The situation, the bickering over minutiae and the impatience were all spot on as far as getting the plot right on paper, but weren't really delivered in way that illustrated all those unspoken coupley frustrations which make the minutiae seem worth arguing about at the time.
The reason for every "lover's tiff" is almost never the actual subject matter you're fighting over and I didn't really feel this showed that. Its the seemingly irrational reactions which stem from years of squabbling which are a comedy goldmine, and were obviously the key to series like One Foot In The Grave, but as your short only shows the arguments, not really the reactions, the acting/comedy seemed dry. You don't get any sense of the loving-but-overly-tolerant nature of couples which makes makes these arguments funny to a bystander - the rolling of eyes, the despairing shrugs, the gritting of teeth etc, but I didn't really see these.
I didn't expect the punchline, but by the time it came I didn't feel the tension had built up sufficiently for the punchline to offer comic relief.
Last edited Fri, 16th Oct 2009, 3:32pm; edited 1 times in total.