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Aculag's 8000th Post Party

Posted: Thu, 10th Feb 2011, 11:15pm

Post 1 of 46

Aculag

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Welcome! As you all know, I have posted on this forum more than damn near anyone else here (TAAAARRRRRRRNNN!!!!! *Falls to knees and shakes fists to the sky*) This is not a fact that I am proud of. However, the alien worm in my spinal cord is very proud. So, to avoid a painful death, I have decided to dedicate my 8000th post to him.


(Image approximate)

Here's to you, pal! You've always been there for me, Alien Worm. Even when I really, really didn't want you to be. Ever since I accidentally ingested you in your larval form whilst in a Chinese market, I have known that we would be together forever. And for that, I thank you.

To celebrate this momentous occasion, I will compose a haiku for anyone who wants one. Just post and be like "Write me a haiku you alien worm slave." I cannot refuse, because if I do, Alien Worm will cease his hourly dopamine secretions, and violently thrash about, and I won't feel like a million bucks all the time anymore.

wink Here's to another 8000. *Takes a swig from the poisoned goblet*

Last edited Fri, 11th Feb 2011, 7:08am; edited 1 times in total.

Posted: Thu, 10th Feb 2011, 11:35pm

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Arktic

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I would like to see your haiku.

And well done on posting a lot smile
Posted: Fri, 11th Feb 2011, 12:38am

Post 3 of 46

Aculag

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Arktic wrote:

I would like to see your haiku.
Frigid wind, it blows
Polar seas can chill your bones
But naught chills Arktic's

Last edited Fri, 11th Feb 2011, 7:08am; edited 1 times in total.

Posted: Fri, 11th Feb 2011, 1:28am

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Garrison

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Can I bring some single malt '64 whiskey and some Opus X cigars to help celebrate?
Posted: Fri, 11th Feb 2011, 1:30am

Post 5 of 46

Thrawn

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Write me a haiku you alien worm slave. And make me a sandwich.
Posted: Fri, 11th Feb 2011, 2:12am

Post 6 of 46

DigiSm89

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Haiku me you lovable loquacious lifeform.
Posted: Fri, 11th Feb 2011, 3:37am

Post 7 of 46

Aculag

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Garrison wrote:

Can I bring some single malt '64 whiskey and some Opus X cigars to help celebrate?
Please do. I love me some Fuente Fuentes.

Thrawn wrote:

Write me a haiku you alien worm slave. And make me a sandwich.
Grand Admiral Thrawn
So grand and admirable
I wish I was him.

Sandwich is in the post. Expect in in 6-8 weeks.

MasterPie wrote:

Haiku me you lovable loquacious lifeform.
Never will there be,
One as delicious as this.
It's my masterpie.

Last edited Fri, 11th Feb 2011, 7:08am; edited 1 times in total.

Posted: Fri, 11th Feb 2011, 3:51am

Post 8 of 46

Garrison

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WTH??? I offer whiskey and cigars but get no haiku?!???

Did I mention that the Opus X are the Opus XXX Belicosos!??
Posted: Fri, 11th Feb 2011, 3:58am

Post 9 of 46

Aculag

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Garrison wrote:

WTH??? I offer whiskey and cigars but get no haiku?!???
You didn't ask for one! The Alien Worm assumed you were simply being generous. I can feel him becoming irritated, though, so I'll write you one to sate him.

What will we do now?
Now the garrison is gone,
Our options are few.

Garrison wrote:

Did I mention that the Opus X are the Opus XXX Belicosos!??
You have fine taste, sir.

Last edited Fri, 11th Feb 2011, 7:09am; edited 1 times in total.

Posted: Fri, 11th Feb 2011, 5:49am

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Pooky

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Ooh do me do me!
Posted: Fri, 11th Feb 2011, 6:10am

Post 11 of 46

Aculag

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Pooky wrote:

Ooh do me do me!
When I use facebook,
I hate when folks "pook" me.
Passive aggressive.

Last edited Fri, 11th Feb 2011, 7:09am; edited 1 times in total.

Posted: Fri, 11th Feb 2011, 6:17am

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Axeman

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You, sir, are a posting and haiku-writing machine. I'll have mine now, if you please.
Posted: Fri, 11th Feb 2011, 6:21am

Post 13 of 46

Aculag

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Axeman wrote:

You, sir, are a posting and haiku-writing machine. I'll have mine now, if you please.
Beware the Axeman,
Who haunts the young ones at night.
Heed these words, children.

Last edited Fri, 11th Feb 2011, 7:10am; edited 1 times in total.

Posted: Fri, 11th Feb 2011, 6:49am

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rogolo

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Who here has two thumbs
And far less posts than you do?
(Points at self) This Guy!
Posted: Fri, 11th Feb 2011, 9:19am

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Simon K Jones

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I want one!
Posted: Fri, 11th Feb 2011, 9:32am

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pdrg

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Post count is nothing to celebrate, except when they've often been useful/amusing as your own - hearty congrats smile
Posted: Fri, 11th Feb 2011, 9:55am

Post 17 of 46

er-no

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8000 posts and still going. That's impressive. Your next mission is to overtake Tarn...
Posted: Fri, 11th Feb 2011, 11:10am

Post 18 of 46

StupidLikeAFox

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I want one as well!
Posted: Fri, 11th Feb 2011, 3:50pm

Post 19 of 46

Aculag

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Tarn wrote:

I want one!
It is dark inside!
Oh, whatever will I do!
I Tarn the lights on.

wink

StupidLikeAFox wrote:

I want one as well!
Now, I've always said,
"I would rather be dead than
Stupid Like A Fox."

wink DOUBLE WINK. You can tell that the Alien Worm is feeling chipper!
Posted: Fri, 11th Feb 2011, 3:56pm

Post 20 of 46

Joshua Davies

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I want one too!
Posted: Fri, 11th Feb 2011, 4:47pm

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mercianfilm

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Congratulations! These haiku are genius biggrin Have you ever thought of trying to have him removed? It might be like a tape worm and you have tempt him out by waving chocloate near a orifice of your choosing.
Posted: Fri, 11th Feb 2011, 5:53pm

Post 22 of 46

Aculag

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schwar wrote:

I want one too!
My hair is unwashed,
My house is likely a mess,
Because I am Schwar.

wink TRIPLE WINK. This is getting ridiculous.

mercianfilm wrote:

Have you ever thought of trying to have him removed?
He has replaced most of my brain stem, so I think that would be a very poor decision.
Posted: Fri, 11th Feb 2011, 7:04pm

Post 23 of 46

swintonmaximilian

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I would also like one please.
Posted: Fri, 11th Feb 2011, 8:07pm

Post 24 of 46

Aculag

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swintonmaximilian wrote:

I would also like one please.
Better watch your backs!
What's he on about, you ask?
SWINTON TO THA MAXX!

Maybe a little early 90s hip hop flavor will spice things up!
Posted: Fri, 11th Feb 2011, 8:43pm

Post 25 of 46

Pooky

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A challenge for you:
Include double entendres
and "sponge" in your next.
Posted: Fri, 11th Feb 2011, 8:57pm

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Axeman

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I thank you, my good man. Here's one for you, though perhaps not of the quality of your own fine work.

Aculag, the wit!
Enlightened avenger of
logic and reason.
Posted: Fri, 11th Feb 2011, 9:05pm

Post 27 of 46

pdrg

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Looks like I am 20-something posts away from 4k, does that warrant half a haiku?

(can't wait to see what you do for the half-syllable)
Posted: Fri, 11th Feb 2011, 9:49pm

Post 28 of 46

Aculag

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Pooky wrote:

A challenge for you:
Include double entendres
and "sponge" in your next.
Someone get a sponge!
Or like a towel, or something...
My pussy is soaked.

Edit for alternate:

Damn, morning again...
Need some hot blackness in me.
Spilled it! Grab a sponge.

You see... ah, you'll figure it out.

Axeman wrote:

Aculag, the wit!
Enlightened avenger of
logic and reason.
Simply delightful!
'twill be etched upon my grave,
Murderous Axeman.

smile

pdrg wrote:

Looks like I am 20-something posts away from 4k, does that warrant half a haiku?

(can't wait to see what you do for the half-syllable)
@ pdrg
DIS 1's EZ LOL
WTF

I know it's not technically half a haiku, but I think it will do. smile
Posted: Fri, 11th Feb 2011, 11:44pm

Post 29 of 46

pdrg

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Win!
Posted: Sat, 12th Feb 2011, 5:10am

Post 30 of 46

Serpent

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I wouldn't want to waste your time
But I would love if you did mine.

Your poetry is beautiful. Happy 8 grand.
Posted: Sat, 12th Feb 2011, 5:41am

Post 31 of 46

DX6channel

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I want one to please!
Posted: Sat, 12th Feb 2011, 7:59am

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Sollthar

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Congrats and salutations.

And what the hell is a Haiku? smile
Posted: Sat, 12th Feb 2011, 8:33am

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Pooky

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I'm pretty sure the German term is "Affe Käse Wellenlinie Waffeln".
Posted: Sat, 12th Feb 2011, 8:35am

Post 34 of 46

pdrg

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Sollthar, your knowledge of 17th century Japanese poetry is clearly incomplete. Do Swiss schools teach nothing?

It's a 5-7-5 syllable structure poem, very condensed in their original form.
Posted: Sat, 12th Feb 2011, 8:46am

Post 35 of 46

Aculag

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Serpent wrote:

I wouldn't want to waste your time
But I would love if you did mine.

Your poetry is beautiful. Happy 8 grand.
Silence, you half-wits!
Can't you see I'm hunting snakes?
I'm like, so hardcore.

DX6channel wrote:

I want one to please!
No, you want this one:
It's the DX EIGHT Channel.
Eight's better than six.

Sollthar wrote:

And what the hell is a Haiku?
Many samples here.
Read the thread, figure it out.
It isn't that hard.

smile
Posted: Sat, 12th Feb 2011, 10:09pm

Post 36 of 46

DigiSm89

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Haiku me again.
Posted: Sat, 12th Feb 2011, 10:42pm

Post 37 of 46

Aculag

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MasterPie again...
Taking more than his fair share.
What a selfish dude.

wink
Posted: Sat, 12th Feb 2011, 11:20pm

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Biblmac

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Congrats Aculag! And are these Haiku's just a clever way to get more posts? wink
Regardless, you might as well Haiku me! biggrin
Posted: Sun, 13th Feb 2011, 6:00pm

Post 39 of 46

Aculag

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Biblmac wrote:

Congrats Aculag! And are these Haiku's just a clever way to get more posts? wink
Regardless, you might as well Haiku me! biggrin
I had eight thousand,
But damn, it's just not enough...
Gotta post some more.
Posted: Sun, 13th Feb 2011, 6:27pm

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davlin

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Do me....Do me...and that'll help your postings.smile
Posted: Sun, 13th Feb 2011, 9:18pm

Post 41 of 46

Aculag

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davlin wrote:

Do me....Do me...and that'll help your postings.smile
Yeah, do me! Do me!
Write a haiku about me!
You dirty poet...
Posted: Sun, 13th Feb 2011, 10:26pm

Post 42 of 46

Staff Only

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Congratulations Aculag! Reading these forums wouldn't be the same without your insight and sharp wit. I recently caved and joined Facebook to keep in touch with my high school class, and found that writing "Like"-worthy comments was really easy. I don't post there much, but whenever someone finds my textual wit funny I attribute a big part of that to you. You showed me the art of being funny on the internets. smile

Here's to 8000 more!
Posted: Mon, 14th Feb 2011, 1:36am

Post 43 of 46

Aculag

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Thanks for the kind words!
I think you're pretty cool too.
Not in a gay way.
Posted: Mon, 14th Feb 2011, 2:18pm

Post 44 of 46

Klut

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Eight thousand posts, man.
That is kind of impressive.
Write me a haiku.
Posted: Mon, 14th Feb 2011, 8:46pm

Post 45 of 46

Aculag

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Klut wrote:

Eight thousand posts, man.
That is kind of impressive.
Write me a haiku.
Fellow musician,
New Radiohead this week!
Those sneaky bastards...

Seriously though, if you haven't heard. The King of Limbs was announced today. Download available on Saturday, physical copies ship in May. Such awesome news!
Posted: Tue, 15th Feb 2011, 1:05pm

Post 46 of 46

Klut

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That's fantastic! Thank you so much for telling me! =D