You are viewing an archive of the old fxhome.com forums. The community has since moved to hitfilm.com.

DOG

Posted: Tue, 31st May 2011, 10:55am

Post 1 of 35

Adman

Force: 1224 | Joined: 29th Oct 2006 | Posts: 245

CompositeLab Pro User EffectsLab Lite User FXhome Movie Maker MacOS User

Gold Member

A hopefully erie short film that I want to speak for itself.

I can simply say that David Watts makes tea and prepares dinner for his pet....


I welcome your comments everyone.

CAST:
david - NATHANIEL RICHMAN
dog - LUCY PORTER

CREW
directed, shot and chopped by ADAM LAWSON
written by CARLOS MENDES

The song at the beginning is "Sculpture" by The Razz;
http://www.myspace.com/outontherazzuk


More Info
Posted: Wed, 1st Jun 2011, 10:54am

Post 2 of 35

Smitz94

Force: 400 | Joined: 10th Nov 2008 | Posts: 17

EffectsLab Pro User FXhome Movie Maker

Gold Member

Man that was one good piece of film-making, it really inspired me, and it gives me hope as to what I can hopefully achieve also. The story was excellent, the acting was actually rather good, and the constant dark Erie atmosphere is what kept me watching, I don't know what part it was or maybe it was all of it, but something about it reminded me of “ A Clock Work Orange” and whatever that was then overall it was that, that made you deserve the overall five star rating, I just loved that it made me wanting to see what happens next and where can it go from there ect. This is one brilliant piece of film-making, and all I can say is it has inspired and wow'd me.
Posted: Wed, 1st Jun 2011, 11:02am

Post 3 of 35

Adman

Force: 1224 | Joined: 29th Oct 2006 | Posts: 245

CompositeLab Pro User EffectsLab Lite User FXhome Movie Maker MacOS User

Gold Member

Smitz94 wrote:

Man that was one good piece of film-making, it really inspired me, and it gives me hope as to what I can hopefully achieve also. The story was excellent, the acting was actually rather good, and the constant dark Erie atmosphere is what kept me watching, I don't know what part it was or maybe it was all of it, but something about it reminded me of “ A Clock Work Orange” and whatever that was then overall it was that, that made you deserve the overall five star rating, I just loved that it made me wanting to see what happens next and where can it go from there ect. This is one brilliant piece of film-making, and all I can say is it has inspired and wow'd me.
Thank you very much!

Your comments meant an awful lot to me, and I found them truly moving.

I really appreciate it.

Best wishes,

Adam
Posted: Fri, 17th Jun 2011, 8:02pm

Post 4 of 35

The Flying Fox

Force: 1316 | Joined: 1st Sep 2007 | Posts: 155

VisionLab User FXpreset Maker FXhome Movie Maker Windows User

Gold Member

I think this is one of those slightly rare submissions to the cinema that are almost perfectly executed... There's not much to say to improve it!

I would've like to have been informed a bit more about the backstory to the situation the characters are in, but as it's a short film I'd understand if that wasn't your key focus, I think some lines of dialogue do give small hints, but I think that for the most part letting the film show the story rather than tell it helped to create that "eerie" atmosphere you talk about in your description.

I think your actors were very good, but some of the lines didn't quite make me believe the film (I hope that makes sense to you).

It was beautifully lit and shot, and it's all original material (as far as I know!) so I'd be very pleased with myself if I was involved in something like this, you and your cast/crew should definately be happy with it!

Hope that helps

Cheers

Tim
Posted: Fri, 17th Jun 2011, 8:15pm

Post 5 of 35

Adman

Force: 1224 | Joined: 29th Oct 2006 | Posts: 245

CompositeLab Pro User EffectsLab Lite User FXhome Movie Maker MacOS User

Gold Member

The Flying Fox wrote:

I think this is one of those slightly rare submissions to the cinema that are almost perfectly executed... There's not much to say to improve it!

I would've like to have been informed a bit more about the backstory to the situation the characters are in, but as it's a short film I'd understand if that wasn't your key focus, I think some lines of dialogue do give small hints, but I think that for the most part letting the film show the story rather than tell it helped to create that "eerie" atmosphere you talk about in your description.

I think your actors were very good, but some of the lines didn't quite make me believe the film (I hope that makes sense to you).

It was beautifully lit and shot, and it's all original material (as far as I know!) so I'd be very pleased with myself if I was involved in something like this, you and your cast/crew should definately be happy with it!

Hope that helps

Cheers

Tim
Thank you!

I hope the obtuse nature of the film wasn't too much of an issue. It is a personal preference of mine to be ambiguous, but I often lapse into something completely incomprehensible. It is something I must work on!

In regards to the believability factor, I am slightly inclined to claim intention, as I hope some of the dialogue between the pair should be a little contrived. After all, the entire scenario is some sick twisted little game, and while I am not entirely decided myself on the extent of their relationship, it is possible that the exchange had occurred between them many times before. If this isn't what you mean, then please excuse my attempt at slightly pretentious artistic justification. smile

Your comments on the cinematography mean an awful lot, especially when I consider just how frustrated Nathaniel (David Watts) got as I was pedantically adjusting the angle of light by one degree at 3AM in the morning. It seemed to pay off, and he did concede when I showed him a few of the shots. biggrin

I'm glad you enjoyed it though. Thank you so much for your comments,

Adam
Posted: Fri, 17th Jun 2011, 9:56pm

Post 6 of 35

Biblmac

Force: 852 | Joined: 12th Jun 2007 | Posts: 1513

EffectsLab Lite User Windows User

Gold Member

Well that was really well done. Although not my type of film by any stretch, it was really solid in all aspects. Acting is really impressive, imo, as was directing. The cinematography really fits this style and mood, loved it. The story itself, as I stated before, not my thing. Some people may like this creepy, errie type genre, but it isn't for me. On the more technical side of things, the editing was well done. Grading was perfect. Pacing was very well done. The sound was good for the most part, although I didn't really like the sound effects when he was beating her. For some reason they just took away from what was going on for me. Other than that, it was wonderfully done.

5/5

Have a wonderful day/night!

-Biblmac-

PS. Where did you get such a twisted idea? No offense intended by this at all, but that was really quite sick.
Posted: Fri, 17th Jun 2011, 10:18pm

Post 7 of 35

Adman

Force: 1224 | Joined: 29th Oct 2006 | Posts: 245

CompositeLab Pro User EffectsLab Lite User FXhome Movie Maker MacOS User

Gold Member

Biblmac wrote:

Well that was really well done. Although not my type of film by any stretch, it was really solid in all aspects. Acting is really impressive, imo, as was directing. The cinematography really fits this style and mood, loved it. The story itself, as I stated before, not my thing. Some people may like this creepy, errie type genre, but it isn't for me. On the more technical side of things, the editing was well done. Grading was perfect. Pacing was very well done. The sound was good for the most part, although I didn't really like the sound effects when he was beating her. For some reason they just took away from what was going on for me. Other than that, it was wonderfully done.

5/5

Have a wonderful day/night!

-Biblmac-

PS. Where did you get such a twisted idea? No offense intended by this at all, but that was really quite sick.
Thank you for the kind remarks.

You are not the first to comment on the whipping sound, and I am split on it myself. In the end, it was the best of a choice of evils (to be rather apt).

The idea was actually derived from a sort of twisted fascination I have with the deranged human psyche. As unfathomable as it may be to you, and of course, me, it is actually more than feasible that this sort of thing occurs on a day to day basis. In short, the world is an odd place. We only need look at the recent documentary "Graphic Sexual Horror" to get an insight into the world of the "sadomasochistic community", if you can even call it that.

The original concept is actually much larger, with the focus being ultimately on her willingness to participate in these atrocious acts. I wanted originally to make a web series of around twelve 5 minute episodes. For a while, it would play just like the short in the sense that sympathy should lie with her, until the central 'twist' is revealed a few episodes in. The project would be a proper psychological analysis of how they met, and just why this woman essentially wants to dehumanise herself. If you like, consider DOG episode one, although I don't think I will be taking it any further.

The extended concept is full of nuance, and is far better than the short you see in front of you. Alas! I lacked the money and time, so opted to make a mini version that sort of touched on our central ideas and themes, but with more of a short film punch and glean. A little bit more 'fairground ride', and a little less drama, less subtle basically.

Thank you for the kind words though, they mean a lot!

Adam
Posted: Fri, 17th Jun 2011, 10:54pm

Post 8 of 35

Biblmac

Force: 852 | Joined: 12th Jun 2007 | Posts: 1513

EffectsLab Lite User Windows User

Gold Member

Yeah well I too find a lot of "sick" behavior like this type thing interesting, but I've never really had a stomach for it. Anyway, nice job. Very well done, especially on the technical side. I was very impressed.
Posted: Sat, 18th Jun 2011, 7:10am

Post 9 of 35

Sollthar

Force: 13360 | Joined: 30th Oct 2001 | Posts: 6094

VisionLab User VideoWrap User PhotoKey 2 Pro User FXhome Movie Maker Windows User MacOS User

SuperUser

This is an impressive piece of filmmaking with something we don't see often here at fxhome: actual directing!

Visually, this was rather well done and you managed to set a great and fitting mood during the entire film. Even though not much happened, you kept my interest throughout. Solid and powerful acting, interesting concept and as mentioned above, really good to direction.

Still, a couple of points to consider, if you feel like it:

The sound quality was the lowest aspect of the film for me. Which was a bit of a shame. But I know how hard it is to get good sound.

I felt the editing could have been a tad tighter without the film losing anything, but gaining. For example, the part where he walks down the stairs with the plate in his hands has 2 shots. The second is completely not necessary and doesn't deliver a new info. There were other occasions were I thought the shots went on for too long, but maybe also because the sound didn't deliver quite what the they were supposed to.
It was an interesting directing decision to show many things off screen. But if you do that, the sound needs to deliver more for me.

After this, I'm definately looking forward to seeing what you do next!
Posted: Sat, 18th Jun 2011, 3:12pm

Post 10 of 35

Cay

Force: 10 | Joined: 2nd Jul 2010 | Posts: 8

FXhome Movie Maker

Member

Rating: +1

Stunning work. Very well made! was really impressed! Although, i don't like posting comments only saying how amazing the movie is, so here comes my criticism...

Maybe you could have dragged out the choking scene, with the chain. Maybe some more emphasis on the mans expression, and the anger of the girl (close-ups of eyes, maybe?)

What I thought was really well pulled off was the start, showing us a little about the mans horrible, greedy attitude/personality, and how he couldn't care less about anybody else. Also, the general framing and shooting was excellent, like a proper feature! This is only my opinion, but overall, well done . Looking forward to more! cool
Posted: Sat, 18th Jun 2011, 3:16pm

Post 11 of 35

Adman

Force: 1224 | Joined: 29th Oct 2006 | Posts: 245

CompositeLab Pro User EffectsLab Lite User FXhome Movie Maker MacOS User

Gold Member

Sollthar wrote:

This is an impressive piece of filmmaking with something we don't see often here at fxhome: actual directing!

Visually, this was rather well done and you managed to set a great and fitting mood during the entire film. Even though not much happened, you kept my interest throughout. Solid and powerful acting, interesting concept and as mentioned above, really good to direction.

Still, a couple of points to consider, if you feel like it:

The sound quality was the lowest aspect of the film for me. Which was a bit of a shame. But I know how hard it is to get good sound.

I felt the editing could have been a tad tighter without the film losing anything, but gaining. For example, the part where he walks down the stairs with the plate in his hands has 2 shots. The second is completely not necessary and doesn't deliver a new info. There were other occasions were I thought the shots went on for too long, but maybe also because the sound didn't deliver quite what the they were supposed to.
It was an interesting directing decision to show many things off screen. But if you do that, the sound needs to deliver more for me.

After this, I'm definately looking forward to seeing what you do next!
Thank you Sollthar.

Your remarks on directing especially mean a lot, as I was trying to make that my laser focus. I always take the credit of director, but I can genuinely say I feel more like one after this film.

Sound is something I always struggle with, and it is a up hill struggle. I know where I am going wrong, just need to keep practicing. I probably did the most sound work on this out of anything I have ever done, so things are getting better.

In terms of shot length, I guess Andrei Tarkovsky hangs over my shoulder a bit, or rather, I attempt an ineffective imitation. smile

So many people have been really nice about it (as nice as they can about something so gruesome) and it really does mean an awful lot.

Adam

EDIT TO AVOID DOUBLE POST:

Cay wrote:

Stunning work. Very well made! was really impressed! Although, i don't like posting comments only saying how amazing the movie is, so here comes my criticism...

Maybe you could have dragged out the choking scene, with the chain. Maybe some more emphasis on the mans expression, and the anger of the girl (close-ups of eyes, maybe?)

What I thought was really well pulled off was the start, showing us a little about the mans horrible, greedy attitude/personality, and how he couldn't care less about anybody else. Also, the general framing and shooting was excellent, like a proper feature! This is only my opinion, but overall, well done . Looking forward to more! cool
I didn't want to exclude you Cay from my retorts and thanks, it just came through as I was typing the message above.

It is funny you should mention the choking scene as that was undoubtedly rushed. The whole thing was shot over a 24 hour period with a few hours here and there for sleep and food. By the time we got to that bit, things were crumbling somewhat. I can't say it was as carefully constructed as the rest of the film.
Posted: Sun, 26th Jun 2011, 5:33pm

Post 12 of 35

FXhomer32915

Force: 1485 | Joined: 30th Aug 2008 | Posts: 126

VisionLab User VideoWrap User

Gold Member

Rating: -1

This is akin to a bad porno. This is NOT a film. It's little more than a scene and might even be a good one in the right context, but on its own is a waste of tape. There is no story aside from an implied "Buffalo Bill" reference and there's more to directing a film than yelling "ACTION!" It's as much an art form as the writing as is the editing as well as the sound, etc, but it also takes WORK, which is apparently is not a concept accepted here. Mostly all I see here on FXHome is people just running around with no direction (no pun intended) in front of a camera, calling it "acting" and giving each other five-star ratings for substandard attempts at filmmaking. I applaud even failures at attempting to do anything right, but most of what I see here is amateurs "playing" filmmaker and stroking each other with a meaningless rating system. Now, understand, my aim here is not to trash your efforts, but to open your eyes if you want to be a real filmmaker. As in the past, you'll see this opinion trashed by other FXHomers and they say I'm just being mean and unfair, but I'm the one being paid for my work and teaching the craft professionally. Good luck to you in the future.
Posted: Sun, 26th Jun 2011, 5:37pm

Post 13 of 35

Sollthar

Force: 13360 | Joined: 30th Oct 2001 | Posts: 6094

VisionLab User VideoWrap User PhotoKey 2 Pro User FXhome Movie Maker Windows User MacOS User

SuperUser

but I'm the one being paid for my work and teaching the craft professionally
Then why don't you just go back where you teach your craft professionally, get your paycheck and stay out of internet forums where you offer zero constructive critique?
Or even better: Instead of staying on your high horse about how great and professional and everything you are, why not offer some of that teaching and actually teach how to do it better? All you said so far is "this isn't good". Okay. Enlighten us with your divine knowledge and tell us how it's done...
Posted: Sun, 26th Jun 2011, 6:29pm

Post 14 of 35

Viking

Force: 130 | Joined: 21st Nov 2004 | Posts: 64

Windows User

Member

Shame on you FXhomer32915, pretending to be a pro filmmaker and teacher of the fine craft. It looks as though rogolo found out some info on you and your so called bullspit company. Maybe if you stick around, you just might learn something.

https://fxhome.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=44509&highlight=
Posted: Sun, 26th Jun 2011, 8:22pm

Post 15 of 35

FXhomer32915

Force: 1485 | Joined: 30th Aug 2008 | Posts: 126

VisionLab User VideoWrap User

Gold Member

Rating: -3

And undeserved 5-star ratings are constructive? There are none so deaf as those who WILL NOT hear. The bottom line is, I get paid for my teaching AND my services on actual films as well as television projects. If you're not interested in how to do the same for yourself, you do deserve those empty meaningless 5-star ratings. I'm surprized at your response, Sollthar. From what I've read of your instructional posts on film, you seem to know something about the craft and yet...? I answer your question with a question. Why don't you offer real world advice and assistance to the members instead of building them up for a huge letdown? I've only seen two entries here that would get past a Hollywood agent or, worse yet, a Hollywood critic. Showering them with false praise is just setting up those seriously seeking a career in film for a crushing blow.
Posted: Sun, 26th Jun 2011, 8:28pm

Post 16 of 35

Adman

Force: 1224 | Joined: 29th Oct 2006 | Posts: 245

CompositeLab Pro User EffectsLab Lite User FXhome Movie Maker MacOS User

Gold Member

Rating: +2

FXhomer32915 wrote:

This is akin to a bad porno. This is NOT a film. It's little more than a scene and might even be a good one in the right context, but on its own is a waste of tape. There is no story aside from an implied "Buffalo Bill" reference and there's more to directing a film than yelling "ACTION!" It's as much an art form as the writing as is the editing as well as the sound, etc, but it also takes WORK, which is apparently is not a concept accepted here. Mostly all I see here on FXHome is people just running around with no direction (no pun intended) in front of a camera, calling it "acting" and giving each other five-star ratings for substandard attempts at filmmaking. I applaud even failures at attempting to do anything right, but most of what I see here is amateurs "playing" filmmaker and stroking each other with a meaningless rating system. Now, understand, my aim here is not to trash your efforts, but to open your eyes if you want to be a real filmmaker. As in the past, you'll see this opinion trashed by other FXHomers and they say I'm just being mean and unfair, but I'm the one being paid for my work and teaching the craft professionally. Good luck to you in the future.
I am intrigued, FXhomer32915, as to why you spend your time on these forums when they seemingly offer you nothing but foolish amateurs 'running around with no direction'. It surely isn't a constructive use of a professional's time. You've made your mind up, so why bother yourself with all this.

This aside, I want to address your comments further. I am unsure how you have even tried to open my mind. Aside from slandering the community, your post made one or two flippant remarks on my film. It just came across to me as an attack. There is nothing constructive, nothing eye opening here. Instead, I see yet another arrogant, 'omniscient' speaker hiding behind an Avatar. I can only conclude your claimed notoriety is bullsh*t.

Why? Because you've shown no signs of being a teacher of this fine craft. A teacher imparts knowledge, and you haven't done this here at all.

What signs have I given you that I do not appreciate the artistic merit of the film aesthetic? I would challenge any claims that say otherwise.

Film is not merely an excuse for popcorn.

“The film-maker/author writes with his camera as a writer writes with his pen.” – Alexander Astruc, 1948

While it may be pretentious to quote landmark film criticism, I am simply fronting you in an equal measure. This is your ball park surely?

If you lack the inclination to produce detailed criticism in your posts, then at least show me what I should being trying to achieve. Who inspires you? I’ve mentioned one of my major inspirations above in an earlier post.....

What illustrates your standard of excellence? What have you made of any worth? You can’t belittle everyone’s efforts without setting a scale.

If you want your comments to be seen as more than trash in this community, write something that ticks a few of these suggested boxes. Until then, no one will take you seriously and you are just wasting your and our time. Then again, you probably are anyway, as a ‘professional’ is obviously better than little old FXhome.....

P.S. Please remember that I am not even 18 yet. I wouldn’t usually offer this as any kind of rebuke, but I do feel it is relevant. I simply have not had enough time to develop my craft as much as I would like. I haven’t been alive that long. As a result, I am particularly susceptible to criticism, as I want to learn, so teach me something.
Posted: Mon, 27th Jun 2011, 3:31am

Post 17 of 35

Biblmac

Force: 852 | Joined: 12th Jun 2007 | Posts: 1513

EffectsLab Lite User Windows User

Gold Member

I honestly can't believe myself. I used to stand up for Fxhomer32915 and he let me down over and over. So to him I say this; Until you can give us a reason to take anything you say with any kind of merit, leave.

To Adman, I never checked your age on your profile, and I don't even know if it's there, but it is pretty inspiring that you are under 18. I turn 18 in a little over a month and I have nothing, filmmaking wise, to show for it. Hopefully I will soon, but as of yet, nothing. I'm very impressed with your efforts and your success. Very well done, especially for still being a minor.
Posted: Mon, 27th Jun 2011, 5:13am

Post 18 of 35

Sollthar

Force: 13360 | Joined: 30th Oct 2001 | Posts: 6094

VisionLab User VideoWrap User PhotoKey 2 Pro User FXhome Movie Maker Windows User MacOS User

SuperUser

I have also defended FXhomer in the past but once again he writes walls of text which offer nothing but destructive comments, so the joke is on me.
You have still not given one constructive tip to Adman how he can improve. All you've done is agressively slam his work and the entire community for the n'th time and again managed to put into your post how great and professional you are.

You don't impress. You don't help. Why are you even here?

You must be an incredibly frustrated human being, no matter if you actually are a 50+ year old film teacher or just a guy pretending, stirring up trouble in internet forums as a past time, and I do feel sorry for you.
Posted: Mon, 27th Jun 2011, 7:19pm

Post 19 of 35

Mike Q

Force: 1340 | Joined: 20th Jan 2008 | Posts: 255

VisionLab User VideoWrap User

Gold Member

Excellent film, though from your description I realised what would be happening, but still, very well excecuted on all levels, barring sound like already mentioned. Loved the comment you made earlier, regarding wether or not this was an on going thing between them, that sounds like a great sequel in the making.
Posted: Tue, 28th Jun 2011, 9:35am

Post 20 of 35

Arktic

Force: 9977 | Joined: 10th Nov 2003 | Posts: 2785

VisionLab User VideoWrap User PhotoKey 2 Pro User FXhome Movie Maker FXpreset Maker Windows User MacOS User

SuperUser

FXhomer32915 writes like he thinks he's Dov Simens. You ever see that guy? What a jerk. He 'teaches' how to be a producer, but he's produced basically nothing of note himself. He failed as a producer, even by his own admission - and yet he still thinks he has all the answers. He's generally obnoxious and thinks that he's right when everyone else is wrong.

In fact, FXhomer32915 spouts so much of Simens' rhetoric, that I imagine that he's probably done one of his 2-Day filmschool classes, or taken one of his correspondence courses in 'film production' - and now (just like Dov) he thinks he's a big shot producer, when really, we've seen nothing to corroborate that.
Posted: Wed, 29th Jun 2011, 8:04pm

Post 21 of 35

Arktic

Force: 9977 | Joined: 10th Nov 2003 | Posts: 2785

VisionLab User VideoWrap User PhotoKey 2 Pro User FXhome Movie Maker FXpreset Maker Windows User MacOS User

SuperUser

Hey, I've got a little more time to write up some of my thoughts on this - sorry for the double post, but I just wanted to make sure that you saw this!

Firstly, let me say that your film making has come on in leaps and bounds! There's some really excellent cinematography in this, and the grading looks great. The whole piece has a very eerie feel to it (helped in no small part to the fabulous location, what on earth is that place?).

The tone of the film is very evocative of certain scenes from Oldboy, and to some extent, recent horror movies like Hostel and The Human Centipede. In fact, on a technical level, this film probably stands up to many of those kind of films. I'll be honest - though I am somewhat of a gore-hound and I love a decent splatter flick, many of the recent gross-out horror / 'torture-porn' type movies really aren't my thing; they seem offensive solely for the sake of offensiveness. There's nothing really there that keeps you entertained or interested, it's just one revolting scene after another; so I was a little hesitant about your short as it got going. I was worried that it might go off into that sort of territory, but I'm pleased to say that (for me at least) this danced the line between being totally vile and totally engrossing perfectly.

The twist in the plot was good, though I did have my suspicions. One thing I think let the script down slightly was the acting - the guy was good, but a little clichéd (very upper-class British RP accent, perhaps a little too fitting for an 'evil villain' stereotype!). The girl was great in the first half of the film, but for her later lines of dialogue, I just didn't believe what she was saying. It all felt a little... theatrical isn't the right word, but I think you know what I'm getting at. I get that there was an element of 'acting' to what her character is doing (i.e. playing out some sort of scene with the man) - but I think that it felt a little too scripted.

Also, I think that your edit - whilst technically perfect - was a little flat. There were some moments where it was slightly by-the-numbers cutting. To me, it feels a bit loose in places. I think you could probably cut the runtime down by 45 seconds to 1'00'', and the whole thing would be a bit snappier. This feels like an offline cut, and it could just do with that extra bit of tightening here and there. Having said that though, the edit is very solid, and it doesn't drag for the viewer at all - I'm just being picky.

Overall though - a very, very good job. Dark, devious and twisted - a thoroughly atmospheric short film. I'm looking forward to seeing something a little more in depth from you, where we can really see some character development and a little more plot. You have a real talent, and I can't wait to see what else you come up with.

Very well done to you and the team!

Cheers,
Arktic.
Posted: Wed, 29th Jun 2011, 8:33pm

Post 22 of 35

Azulon'sAssassin

Force: 1108 | Joined: 26th Oct 2010 | Posts: 648

VisionLab User Windows User

Gold Member

FxHomer 32915, you never stop shocking me. All you do is whine and complain about how everyone else's movies on this website are horrible, and how you're so much better at filmming and blah, blah, blah. I've never seen any of YOUR movies on this site. I did a search just before typing this, and nothing came up. If you have some please give me a link. I'd love to see just how "great" they are. I've seen threads where everyone loves the movie, then you trash it! Everyone, please forgive me if this looks like an annoying rant, but I've never, EVER seen a thread with a positive comment from FxHomer 32915.

I'd also LOVE to know how FxHomer32915 knows what a bad porno is like... eek

(Oh, and not everyone wants to be a Hollywood film maker. Some people just do it for fun, which, in my opinion, is perfectly fine.)
Posted: Thu, 30th Jun 2011, 11:41am

Post 23 of 35

Sloganlogo

Force: 1000 | Joined: 5th Feb 2007 | Posts: 1

CompositeLab Pro User EffectsLab Pro User VideoWrap User

Gold Member

Best Short on here........
Posted: Thu, 30th Jun 2011, 12:51pm

Post 24 of 35

davlin

Force: 1572 | Joined: 21st Jan 2002 | Posts: 1088

EffectsLab Pro User FXhome Movie Maker Windows User

Gold Member

Top draw cinematography bordering on pro productions.
The acting was excellent with whole experience being as the director
envisaged.
I agree with all the previous posts (almost all)and I know I tend to give high scores anyway but this I proudly put my name to as a 5 star awarder.
Well done to all .
Posted: Sun, 3rd Jul 2011, 4:38am

Post 25 of 35

Red S Lovely

Force: 0 | Joined: 1st Jul 2011 | Posts: 4

Member

Twisted, unique and dark. Absolutely fantastic lighting and colors, the makeup was great, and the actors made you take sides immediately when they first spoke; especially Lucy Porter. She is a fantastic actor, and she should be very proud of herself. I was caught by the very beginning, and compelled to watch until the very end.

The only reason why I did not give it five stars was because of lack of background music. The scene where she escapes would have been enhaced that much more if there had been some suspenseful shrieking violins, or the like. However, I know non-copyrighted music isn't always an option, and I love it anyway, music or no. A rising filmmaker in the making!
Posted: Mon, 4th Jul 2011, 6:35am

Post 26 of 35

FXhomer32915

Force: 1485 | Joined: 30th Aug 2008 | Posts: 126

VisionLab User VideoWrap User

Gold Member

Contrary to popular belief, I do recognize talent. Check out my reviews of Dawn of the Ted, Blind Date and HomoRobotic. Those are all well-planned and well-executed short film projects that actually have meaningful stories worthy of recognition. They are also representative of what every one of the members here are capable of, but are unwilling to put in the time and effort involved to achieve. 95% or better just want to slap something together with no script, no planning and excuse it as being a trailer or teaser for films that don’t even exist and expect to be praised for it. That is unfair to those who do put in the time and effort and deserve those 4 and 5 star ratings. Am I a bit over the top with my delivery? Probably, but it’s in defense of that 5% that truly deserves those 4 and 5 stars that are rendered meaningless by those tossing them out like parade candy at anything posted on the forum. I’m not trying to pick fights, but properly recognizing a few worthy achievements and hoping to stem the tide of stars flying about praising undeserving entries for substandard work. That’s insulting to those who really do deserve them.
Posted: Mon, 4th Jul 2011, 7:08am

Post 27 of 35

Sollthar

Force: 13360 | Joined: 30th Oct 2001 | Posts: 6094

VisionLab User VideoWrap User PhotoKey 2 Pro User FXhome Movie Maker Windows User MacOS User

SuperUser

If you'd actually put it that way and offer constructive critique instead of just rambling on about how bad things are, no one would have a problem...
Posted: Mon, 4th Jul 2011, 8:26am

Post 28 of 35

Biblmac

Force: 852 | Joined: 12th Jun 2007 | Posts: 1513

EffectsLab Lite User Windows User

Gold Member

Rating: +1

Hey, Adman, if you didn't plan this, as our friend fxhomer implies, you deserve a TON more credit than anyone has given you. Good cinematography, cool idea, etc. With no planning? That would be an achievement wink
Posted: Mon, 4th Jul 2011, 6:16pm

Post 29 of 35

FXhomer32915

Force: 1485 | Joined: 30th Aug 2008 | Posts: 126

VisionLab User VideoWrap User

Gold Member

Point taken, Sollthar. Thanks.
Posted: Tue, 5th Jul 2011, 2:48pm

Post 30 of 35

Adman

Force: 1224 | Joined: 29th Oct 2006 | Posts: 245

CompositeLab Pro User EffectsLab Lite User FXhome Movie Maker MacOS User

Gold Member

Firstly, thank you all so much for your comments. I will try to address some of them one by one, something I try to do straight away normally, but I have been away for a few days to celebrate my 18th a week and a bit early. Speaking of which, if anyone here is ever in the city of Prague (my chosen holiday destination), I highly recommend checking out the Sv?tozor Kino art house. Fantastic little cinema, and I am sure anyone here would appreciate it. I saw Lars Von Triers new film Melancholia there, but that is another topic altogether...

I digress.....

Biblmac wrote:


To Adman, I never checked your age on your profile, and I don't even know if it's there, but it is pretty inspiring that you are under 18. I turn 18 in a little over a month and I have nothing, filmmaking wise, to show for it. Hopefully I will soon, but as of yet, nothing. I'm very impressed with your efforts and your success. Very well done, especially for still being a minor.
Thank you very much. It is not so much that I hide my age, but I do sometimes avoid the subject as it does carry with it a lot of prejudice and stigma. I don't think your age should play a factor in the quality of the art you produce. Art is an expression, and that is something everyone is capable of, for better or for worse and to a greater or lesser extent. Age/gender/ethnicity etcetera may influence it, but it doesn't necessarily render a scale of quality. For that reason, I don't like to bring it up, as I don't want to be excused from honest critique, or dismissed simply for being young.


Arktic wrote:

Hey, I've got a little more time to write up some of my thoughts on this - sorry for the double post, but I just wanted to make sure that you saw this!

Firstly, let me say that your film making has come on in leaps and bounds! There's some really excellent cinematography in this, and the grading looks great. The whole piece has a very eerie feel to it (helped in no small part to the fabulous location, what on earth is that place?).

[...]

I was worried that it might go off into that sort of territory, but I'm pleased to say that (for me at least) this danced the line between being totally vile and totally engrossing perfectly.

[...]

The girl was great in the first half of the film, but for her later lines of dialogue, I just didn't believe what she was saying. It all felt a little... theatrical isn't the right word, but I think you know what I'm getting at. I get that there was an element of 'acting' to what her character is doing (i.e. playing out some sort of scene with the man) - but I think that it felt a little too scripted.

Also, I think that your edit - whilst technically perfect - was a little flat. There were some moments where it was slightly by-the-numbers cutting. To me, it feels a bit loose in places. I think you could probably cut the runtime down by 45 seconds to 1'00'', and the whole thing would be a bit snappier. This feels like an offline cut, and it could just do with that extra bit of tightening here and there. Having said that though, the edit is very solid, and it doesn't drag for the viewer at all - I'm just being picky.

Overall though - a very, very good job. Dark, devious and twisted - a thoroughly atmospheric short film. I'm looking forward to seeing something a little more in depth from you, where we can really see some character development and a little more plot. You have a real talent, and I can't wait to see what else you come up with.

Very well done to you and the team!

Cheers,
Arktic.
Thank you for such a lengthy review Arktic.

Firstly, the location is our favourite Number 1 Chatham Place, Ramsgate, Kent. It is a late 18th Century grade 2 listed building owned by Farley's Furniture, a local family business. I thought I would be rather precise to give them a little publicity as they have supported us for a while. biggrin

It is a fantastic place that is currently used partly to store furniture, while the rest is completely derelict. Luckily enough it does have electricity on the storage floors, so we run cables and all sorts when we film in there. Fantastic location, and perfect for a grand, labyrinthian style location.

I am glad that we struck the balance for you, as this is something I was very dubious about. In terms of the performances, I whole heartedly have to take the blame for a drop in quality during the final scene. The film's shooting schedule was a little like this;

[Thursday: 21:00 - Friday 02:30] "David Making tea"

[Friday: 06:30 - 09:00] Final set rigging/costumes etc

[Friday: 09:00 - 12:00] "Walking through house"

[Friday: 12:30 - 22:30 (eating dinner on the go) ] "Entrance, Dog food, beating etc"

[Friday: 23:50 - Saturday 01:00] "David tied up etc"


We also spent all day Thursday set dressing and preparing, which Nathaniel threw himself into as well. We are all dedicated team players. What with a lack of food, sleep and such an intense working speed, the end scene suffered a little, as technically we were behind an already tight schedule. I wanted at least three hours on that scene to perfect the performances and to nail the direction which I didn't get. I have to say, that scene was probably performed a little blind without much guidance, as I too began to enter zombie mode. I do over work everyone a little bit, but we always seem to be in a position where the film has to be made fast. Alas! 'Tis the nature of indie film-making....

As for the cut, I am trying to strike a balance between ponderous pacing that I adore, while still maintaining effect. Thanks so much for your comments on this, and I will continue to try and develop that particular skill.

To address your wish to see something a little more in-depth, my next piece will unfortunately by slightly more generic in terms of genre, but I hope to take it down an interesting road nonetheless. The film is for a local competition that I can't recommend to anyone in the South East enough;

http://www.2dayslater.co.uk/

Red S Lovely and Davlin, I really value the compliments on cinematography, as it is my baby.

Sloganlogo, that comment, while I can't help but see it as slightly hyperbolic, means an awful lot. smile

And as a final word on effort and planning, I can assure everyone that this was a labour of love with long, dedicated, hard working hours, with even more time put in burning the midnight oil to get a cut together. Film is my love, and I hope it shows, if nothing else, in the time I put in.

Once again, thanks a lot guys, and sorry for being continually lengthy. I do tend to ramble, but I want to be as intricate in my responses as you all have been in taking the time to watch and comment.

Best wishes,

Adam

Last edited Tue, 5th Jul 2011, 4:08pm; edited 1 times in total.

Posted: Tue, 5th Jul 2011, 3:58pm

Post 31 of 35

Biblmac

Force: 852 | Joined: 12th Jun 2007 | Posts: 1513

EffectsLab Lite User Windows User

Gold Member

Hey Adam, you have your quotes backwards, the one from Arktic says "Biblmac" and the one from me says "Arktic".
Posted: Tue, 5th Jul 2011, 4:09pm

Post 32 of 35

Adman

Force: 1224 | Joined: 29th Oct 2006 | Posts: 245

CompositeLab Pro User EffectsLab Lite User FXhome Movie Maker MacOS User

Gold Member

Ah, so I do. All sorted now though. Thanks for that. smile
Posted: Wed, 6th Jul 2011, 2:12pm

Post 33 of 35

CarlosTJMendez

Force: 0 | Joined: 6th Jul 2011 | Posts: 2

Member

Let's deal with FXhomer32915 before getting onto a proper critique. I have no idea what your credentials are, and they count for nothing. If the reincarnation of F.W.Murnau were to offer the same 'critique' as you did it would be equally devoid of value or veracity. There are numerous areas that could be improved, but your barrage of insults suggests it is awful. If you are, as you claim to be, an educator, then I pity your charges if this is the way you attempt to edify people. The only rational responses to your comments could be to give up on what might be a very sparkling career or, and I am pleased to see that Adman's responses suggest the following interpretation, to see your commentary for the drivel it is.

It doesn't even make sense. At one point you suggest that it may be quite good were it to be a scene from something larger, but as a piece on its own it is a waste of tape (TAPE? DOESN'T IT SAY THAT IT WAS SHOT ON DSLR? INDUSTRY PROFESSIONAL?). A more contradictory statement is difficult to make. Either it is an interesting piece of cinema that could represent a section of something more, the directing of which would therefore need to be of some reasonable quality, or it is a useless waste of tape. You are effectively attacking the narrative, which is not an unreasonable thing to do, but you are suggesting this weakness is a result of poor, or indeed absent directing. It's idiocy man, idiocy.

As for your defense that this 'Internet backslapping' will somehow damage the career chances of the director by giving them an unrealistic picture of their ability, you clearly have no idea about pedagogy. Research shows that people respond favourably to praise and negatively to negativity (not that anyone really needed to research something that is such common sense). Perhaps a five star rating is too good for this particular piece, I would contend that it is certainly not perfect. However, the context of the rating is unlikely to be lost on the people posting, and if it is then who are you to deliberately attempt to demoralise someone with your malodorous hyperbole?

I put it to you that it is not your intention to assist people but to malign them. I put it to you that you are jealous that a 17 year old, with a budget of next to nothing and a very obvious time constraint, is producing the kind of work that you could have only dreamed of at that age. I put it to you that the only other interpretation is that you revel in the deliberate desecration of the artistic spirit in others and that your words are deeply immoral and offensive.

Shame on you. Shame on you.

I suspect you will want to have the last word on this and suffice it to say that I will not dignify any further response of yours that is not a heartfelt apology with any sort of reply. So regain the moral perspective and apologise or have the last word and enjoy the festering pit of your own contempt.
Posted: Wed, 6th Jul 2011, 2:34pm

Post 34 of 35

CarlosTJMendez

Force: 0 | Joined: 6th Jul 2011 | Posts: 2

Member

Now a word or two on the script. It is not the acting that lets the piece down but the dialogue. The comment about the 'red marks' on her mother's neck are clumsy and the implication that the antagonist is either some sort of friend of the family, or perhaps even a member of the constabulary himself are practical lost to the obscurity of the statement. By all means inject some ambiguity into the piece, but not to the extent that it is, to all intents and purposes, a throwaway statement. I have followed your work for a while and this is a common feature that needs to be ironed out if your are to make any real progress.

Since the second section has come under fire for the delivery of the dialogue I feel I should defend the actress. The dialogue itself lends itself to the theatricality of the delivery. It is overly melodramatic and lacks a sense of realism. This may be an attempt by the writer to emphasise the artifice that lies at the heart of the plot twist, but I suspect that the writing was a little too rushed and that insufficient attention was given to the truth of dialogue. Had this been more carefully formed, the actress could not have failed to deliver the lines with a sense of authenticity that is missing at the moment.

As for the plot twist, it is mundane and it felt like I knew what was going to happen even before the actress had appeared on screen. A far more interesting direction for this to go would have been to explore the continued destruction of her ego through systematic torture. I realise that you felt it was worthwhile dwelling on her complicity in her situation, and I am in favour of that, but if you do, as you suggest you might, extend this piece, might I advise you to use a non linear narrative to explore the idea that she is the architect of her own destruction, but that this destruction is far more thorough and difficult to stomach for an audience.
Posted: Sun, 10th Jul 2011, 11:54am

Post 35 of 35

Adman

Force: 1224 | Joined: 29th Oct 2006 | Posts: 245

CompositeLab Pro User EffectsLab Lite User FXhome Movie Maker MacOS User

Gold Member

Thank you very much for such a lengthy reply and such weighty support.

But onto the critique;

CarlosTJMendez wrote:

Now a word or two on the script. It is not the acting that lets the piece down but the dialogue. The comment about the 'red marks' on her mother's neck are clumsy and the implication that the antagonist is either some sort of friend of the family, or perhaps even a member of the constabulary himself are practical lost to the obscurity of the statement. By all means inject some ambiguity into the piece, but not to the extent that it is, to all intents and purposes, a throwaway statement. I have followed your work for a while and this is a common feature that needs to be ironed out if your are to make any real progress.

Since the second section has come under fire for the delivery of the dialogue I feel I should defend the actress. The dialogue itself lends itself to the theatricality of the delivery. It is overly melodramatic and lacks a sense of realism. This may be an attempt by the writer to emphasise the artifice that lies at the heart of the plot twist, but I suspect that the writing was a little too rushed and that insufficient attention was given to the truth of dialogue. Had this been more carefully formed, the actress could not have failed to deliver the lines with a sense of authenticity that is missing at the moment.

As for the plot twist, it is mundane and it felt like I knew what was going to happen even before the actress had appeared on screen. A far more interesting direction for this to go would have been to explore the continued destruction of her ego through systematic torture. I realise that you felt it was worthwhile dwelling on her complicity in her situation, and I am in favour of that, but if you do, as you suggest you might, extend this piece, might I advise you to use a non linear narrative to explore the idea that she is the architect of her own destruction, but that this destruction is far more thorough and difficult to stomach for an audience.
Walking that line between ambiguity, subtlety and complete incomprehensible obtuseness is without a doubt an ongoing struggle. I am pleased, however, that your comments focused on writing as this seems to be our focus at the moment. Truth lies in the mantra of 'the script is everything', so thank you for such detailed criticism, especially the more intricate observations. It means a lot that at least some nuance was conveyed, albeit with mediocrity at times. You have a good eye!

In regards to the twist, I too find it to be rather mundane when I think of the wider concept. Alas, the film is made. I do feel though with such a positive reception that I should confer with my team about seriously considering extending the film into the web series.

Thanks everyone,

Adam