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I don't care what you say...

Posted: Sun, 27th Oct 2002, 12:34pm

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The Great One

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... Triple X is quite good, really. It made me laugh in places, it looked good, the cliches were comfortably familiar... Not at all the worst film I've ever seen. There weren't really any outstanding moments, nothing that made me go 'YEAH!' but I was competently entertained for a coupla hours, so... job done.

I'm still in search of films worse than 'Batman & Robin', 'Species 2' and 'Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls'...

Any suggestions?
Posted: Sun, 27th Oct 2002, 12:54pm

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b4uask30male

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Judge Dredd !!!!
Posted: Sun, 27th Oct 2002, 1:31pm

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The Great One

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Nope. I quite liked it. Looked good, had Rob Schnieder in it, cool hardware, Mean Machine...
Posted: Sun, 27th Oct 2002, 1:39pm

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Simon K Jones

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Judge Dredd isn't a bad film. It's not particularly good, and it's hugely flawed, but it's got some good stuff. The opening is great, and the robot towards the end is one of the best robots ever.

However, xXx is the worst film I've ever seen. I might have seen worse films, but I can't think of any.

Yes, it was hilariously funny. But unlike, say, Bad Taste and Braindead, it's not actually *meant* to be funny. Well, not in the places where I thought it was.

Then there's the appalling use of music. Yeah, good music, but used so lazily that it just becomes annoying.

Then there's the one-liners and cliches, which are appallingly bad. I'm not sure why they're so bad, because they should be good. But the ineptitude that they carry them off with just ruins it all.

And then there's Vin Diesel. Vin Diesel is fantastic in Pitch Black. He's really incredible. He's very good in The Fast And The Furious, which is a damned fun film. But in xXx he is just plain bad. Not funny bad. Just bad. And he seems old. And generally decrepit.

xXx depressed me. It took two people who I thought were going places, Vin and Rob Cohen, and completely destroyed any respect I have for them.

Yeah, it is a hilarious film. But it's meant to be 'cool', or 'serious'. And fails at both.

Kids playing with pigeons? Please....
Posted: Sun, 27th Oct 2002, 1:50pm

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The Great One

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xXx is considerably better than F+F. That used cars and races to replace any need for charisma and story. It was a knuckle-headed film that was designed for readers of Max Power. It was just lazy... No soul or magic, just a bunch of people doing some stuff...

Gone in 60 seconds is much better.
a: Nic Cage
b: Characters worth watching
c: Proper exotic hardware. Not just a bunch of Civics with Nos strapped on
d: Angelina Jolie
e: Robert Duvall
f: The noise that Eleanor makes, when you're watching it with a decent Hi-Fi set up

How many cars? Fif-teahy. How many days? Thur-ee.
Posted: Sun, 27th Oct 2002, 2:00pm

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Simon K Jones

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No, F&TF is considerably better than xXx. The question of which you prefer aside, you have to concede that xXx is just shoddily made, like a bunch of amateur film geeks trying to make what they think is 'cool'. F&TF at least has a bit of invention and is generally a quality product, even if it is unoriginal.

I haven't seen Gone in 60 Seconds. smile

But I don't care, because I saw Bad Taste and Braindead at the cinema yesterday, and it was beautiful. Saw Evil Dead last week at the cinema, too. UCI is just being too good to me.
Posted: Sun, 27th Oct 2002, 2:04pm

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owen rixon

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Off topic slightly, but I'd just like 2 say that after seeing it for the 3rd time at the weekend, Die Hard 2:Die Harder, is 1 of the coolest Films around, despite the billions of errors.
Posted: Sun, 27th Oct 2002, 2:11pm

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The Great One

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F+F just played like an overlong hip-hop video. They spent so long filming cars that there was nothing left. You could call it 'cinema of attractions' in a sort of 'ooh look at this pretty pretty thing...' but xXx at least felt like a film. It was cheesy, the submarine looked like a Thunderbirds toy and the GTO kept changing colour, but at least it went somewhere. I'm not saying that it was the best film ever made, but it was a step up from F+F in terms of cinematography, storytelling and general feel. It was an adventure, even if it was cheesy. F+F was just plain cheap-feeling.

Let's face it, the best thing Rob Cohen's ever done was 'Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story', and that was nearly ten years ago. Maybe he just gets fed shoddy scripts (but that didn't stop Orson Welles turning Touch of Evil into a classic) but he just seems to be a bit overwhelmed when it actually come to making anything approaching original.
Posted: Sun, 27th Oct 2002, 2:38pm

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v6proz

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I agree with The Great One all the way!.. It mayby wasent the best movie, but i totaly enjoyed the whole film!. It was very cheesy and stupid lines. But it was funny and had Awsome effects!!!

It felt like they tried to make a new james bond, a hard james bond and that kids would think is cooler. But i think James Bond is much cooler!

James kicks every agents ass!
Posted: Sun, 27th Oct 2002, 2:43pm

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anonymous

Vin Diesel said that James Bond represents a country and xXx represents a generation... I get what he's saying. Die Another Day looks good, but I'm worried about the surfing bit you see in the trailer... Why would Bond or any other military force need to surf anywhere? Just looks like a bit of surfing for the sake of it.
Posted: Sun, 27th Oct 2002, 2:46pm

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The Great One

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^

I said that.
Posted: Sun, 27th Oct 2002, 3:15pm

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Andreas

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somebody seen snowboard acedamy? that is the worst film i ever seen! its an snowboard film, and even the tricks sucks!! tard
Posted: Sun, 27th Oct 2002, 3:42pm

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Simon K Jones

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At least it was a well-made overlong hip-hop video.

xXx was like a badly made rock/nu-metal video.

xXx may have had good cinematography (I certainly recall a few really good shots), but the editing was so clumsy that you never really get to appreciate it (bit like X-Men in that respect). In terms of storytelling I've actually never seen a more inept narrative. Yes, it was cheesy. Is that a bad thing? No. I love cheese. Was it an adventure? Well, it was trying to be, but I wasn't thrilled or excited at any point.

I think there was one bit that made me go "ooh, this could be good..." That's the bit when they're in the cargo plane and are about to be dropped out the back into Columbia. You've got the other two guys scared stiff, and Vin Diesel just turns around and looks at the marines (and the camera) and says "I live for this!" before getting yanked out the back.

That was great. Vin was brillinat, the line was perfect, and it was well shot, edited, etc etc. Unfortunately it was the only moment in the film that got me. The rest of the time I was mildly bored, when I wasn't laughing with embarassment.

However, I will say that the sound editing was excellent. One thing Cohen does seem consistent with is good sound editing - F&F also had excellent sound.
Posted: Sun, 27th Oct 2002, 5:24pm

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MechaForce

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The Transporter is definitely WAY worse than XXX - watch it and see what I mean! The plot sucks, because the cliches aren't even COOL anymore (ie: at the end, the girl has to betray her father), the music sucks, but the car chases are cool.

oh, and the french cop cars say 'police' on them, instead of 'policia' er whatever. that's really dumb too.
unsure
Posted: Sun, 27th Oct 2002, 5:46pm

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Simon K Jones

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Ah, yes, The Transporter does look astoishingly bad. Not out in the UK yet.

However, the trailer has already prepared me for its lameness. Whereas the xXx trailer made me expect something really, really cool and fun.
Posted: Sun, 27th Oct 2002, 6:36pm

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ZukoVega

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Unrealistic + bad acting + weak plot = Transporter

(went to see “The Ring” but arrived late…”Transporter” was the next movie playing) …but all that aside - it was an entertaining movie just don’t expect any shred of realism in it…most scenes were so ridiculous that it was laughable - almost comedy. One of those movies where the bad guys all carried guns couldn’t hit a target if they pressed the barrel up against it but that didn’t matter ‘cause all their guns seemed to disappear as soon as they got close to the “good guy” forcing them to fight one at a time in hand to hand combat (when are bad guys going to learn that it’s easier if everyone attacks the good guy all at once instead of one at a time?) but it did have a great car chase scene – but I still can’t figure out how the car hopped over the cement railing when it drove off the bridge onto the truck?!

BAD MOVIES:

Rollerball (2002) Ahhhhhhhggg!! So bad - so very very bad!!!

Planet of the Apes (2001) Great set design Tim, but my god! That movie could insult the intelligence of a present day ape! A travesty, insult, and disgrace! (I know, it was a "re-imagining" and not a remake but … Ahhhhhhhggg!!)
Posted: Sun, 27th Oct 2002, 6:54pm

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er-no

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Tarn wrote:

Judge Dredd isn't a bad film. It's not particularly good, and it's hugely flawed, but it's got some good stuff. The opening is great, and the robot towards the end is one of the best robots ever.
Yeah! The ABC robot was bloody wicked, probably the best robot on any film and even looked better (for me) than the terminator robot. Another reason I say this was I saw the actual thing down in Dunsfold and the dude who made it! He also made the Judge Dredd taxi's which were converted 101 Land Rovers, which at the time he was selling for £2,500.

Wish I had the money! I had passed its MOT.



Oh yeah!
Posted: Sun, 27th Oct 2002, 8:15pm

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sidewinder

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The transporter isn't all bad.

It's an ACTION movie.

Just go and watch it for the action. You won't be disappointed. Everything else is sloppy, and badly done, but the action scenes are good.

Oh, and if you want to talk about a total let down, go see reign of fire.

It had so much potential. sad
Posted: Sun, 27th Oct 2002, 9:33pm

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otteypm

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I thought Reign Of Fire was fantastic, don't watch it as an action film, watch it as a political commentry, it deals with issues, I wouldn't say it does it in a subtle way but it doesn't push it's themes onto you

It's not really about the dragons eek tard crazy
Posted: Sun, 27th Oct 2002, 9:37pm

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Timescape

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I liked the bit showing Time magazine saying "the end" or something so them words, gave me the creeps smile

reign of fire had potential but let down by cheesy bits
Posted: Sun, 27th Oct 2002, 10:15pm

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Simon K Jones

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Reign of Fire was fantastic!

One of my favourite films of the year.

Good old fashioned balls-out action, like you only tend to see in mainstream films if it's coming from Verhoeven or Cameron.

And Matt Mcognonoghehehehehehehe RULED!
Posted: Sun, 27th Oct 2002, 10:46pm

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sidewinder

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Reign of fire had great dragon and fire animation, but too little of it, and the special effects were obviusloy low-budget for everything else.

I wnated to see tons of dragon slaying and fighting, not just a few seconds of it.
Posted: Sun, 27th Oct 2002, 11:02pm

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Sollthar

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I'll go and see TripleX and Reign of Fire as soon as I can...


my tip for a bad movie still is "Star Wars: Episode 2". Definately one of the worst movies I've ever seen... And I've seen them all... smile
Posted: Sun, 27th Oct 2002, 11:25pm

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er-no

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Hmm.. the worst film ever is probably -

Toys.

This is the one film I would not accept money to watch again. It was terrible.

eek evil
Posted: Sun, 27th Oct 2002, 11:55pm

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Sollthar

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Yeah... Toys is a very strange film... seen it too... very strange film.... smile
Posted: Mon, 28th Oct 2002, 12:38am

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Simon K Jones

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Yes.

Reign of Fire doesn't have many dragons in it.

It doesn't have many special effects either.

That's probably why it's such a damned good film.
Posted: Mon, 28th Oct 2002, 10:45am

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The Great One

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Sounds like a bit of a waste of time to me neutral
Posted: Mon, 28th Oct 2002, 12:14pm

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Trinity-Studios-Gmbh

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Im from germany and i love the movie cuz RAMMSTEIN plays in it !!!
THAT ROCKS !
Posted: Mon, 28th Oct 2002, 12:19pm

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Simon K Jones

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Rammstein are the worst thing about The Matrix soundtrack.

By no means the worst thing about The Matrix, though.
Posted: Mon, 28th Oct 2002, 4:54pm

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Cypher

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Ace Ventura??? Were you beaten by a stupid stick???? rolleyes

hilarious
Posted: Tue, 29th Oct 2002, 1:14pm

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anonymous

'Ace Ventura' is Hilarious. 'Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls' (the SEQUEL) is a pile o' chub.

Anyway, I just saw the best VHS tape ever in a shop a minute ago...

The Avengers
Wild Wild West
Batman and Robin

all on one tape... to buy... what's wrong with these people? crazy
Posted: Tue, 29th Oct 2002, 1:15pm

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The Great One

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^ That was me again. Damn stupid site logs me out every 3.5 seconds unless I keep an eye on it at all times...
Posted: Tue, 29th Oct 2002, 2:46pm

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davlin

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If u like Shock Horror don't miss "Jeepers Creepers" one ot the best I've seen.
Sorry if thats O/T.
Posted: Tue, 29th Oct 2002, 3:41pm

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moebius

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Speaking of "Jeepers Creepers", check this out: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=728384738

Amazing eh?
Posted: Tue, 29th Oct 2002, 4:20pm

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davlin

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Fantastic mask.......Have u seen the movie yet?.....if not ....get it on DVD you'll love it.

My wife says all I need is the hat what does she mean?

ol'dav
Posted: Wed, 30th Oct 2002, 2:06am

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Joshua Davies

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xXx was so much worse than FatF on so many levels. Firstly it is hard to get past the stooopid ending where everything would have been fine if they had just shot the boat but for some reason didn't - what with the chemicals being fine underwater and/or when they don't mix.

Apart from that, the use of music was probably the worst ever with the start just making me laugh (or was I crying?). After the amazing use of sound and music in FatF (the DTS is amazing), xXx was a real let down in this area. The editing was poor overall and in places totally lame (that 747 cut was one of the most nasty things I've ever seen) - again FatF had solid editing with some fantastic ideas in places.

Vin couldn't seem to pull off any lines and also looked quite small which was a bit crap. Also the bit where he cried when the head bad guy killed the evil scientists - heheheheh - DEAR GOD NO!!!

I can't actually think of one good thing about xXx - the sets were poor and why the hell did that guy have a heat seeking missle with him? Why did a small pole with Vin hanging on the top survive an avalanche? I guess we'll find out in the next pile of xxxx installment - xXx 2.
Posted: Wed, 30th Oct 2002, 12:40pm

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Rotting Bob

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Clearly the only warn Tarn and TGO are going to settle thier differences over this whole thing is to have a fight.............


...............with sticks


...............in jam



...............and bikinis


Schwar could do a web cast of it. I'll take odds of 5-1 on TGO.


Oh and for what it's worth

XxX = Enjoyable but Silly (doesn't make it a bad film)

Reign of Fire = Huge dissapointment. The trailer sold the film as a hip dragons vs. tanks fest and it wasn't. Instead they focused on the 'human' and 'family' side of the film which unfortunately they didn't do too well. The first dragon attack on the castle though is top but needed more of it. Had the potential to be this years Pitch Black but wasn't..... Eight Legged Freaks however was.

Ace Ventura 2 = Arse

Batman and Robin = Mr Schumacher (The filmy one not the fast one) still owes me an hour and a half of my life despite numerous letters.

F + F = Never saw but looks like sommin I'll catch on Sky when it comes round.

OH and SEE DONNEY DARKO, and THE EYE, if you haven't already.


I've slashed TGO odds to 3-1, any takers??
Posted: Wed, 30th Oct 2002, 12:57pm

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Simon K Jones

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not too sure about the bikinis, i gotta say....


Reign of Fire was royally screwed by the marketing department, which led everyone to expect a totally different film. However, AICN had clued me in, so I knew what to expect and it totally delivered.

Reign of Fire and Eight Legged Freaks have been the most entertaining films this year by far. I hadn't laughed so hard in a cinema for ages as I did when I saw ELF.

Haven't heard of The Eye, but I've been telling people to see DONNIE DARKO for about 10 months now. It's incredible.
Posted: Wed, 30th Oct 2002, 1:26pm

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Joshua Davies

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Donnie Darko is pretty sweet - still something stops me falling in love with it. I'll give it another chance in the cinema - its been a few months since I watched it.

RoF was exactly what I expected and I don't think it was bad at all - much better than xXx. I'm not sure how bad xXx would be without watching FatF - but after FatF it does appear to be a rather lame effort. I hope they don't make Vin cry in xXx 2 although I'm sure I will be...

There is another way to finish this...

<schwar moves to the delete post button>

Only joking. All this post shows is that different people like different films. I remember laughing quite a bit during xXx, but I also remember it being for all the wrong reasons. Still it was better than "Killing Me Softly" - another "Worst Film Ever Made" contender.
Posted: Wed, 30th Oct 2002, 3:13pm

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The Great One

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I can take 'im, I can take 'im. Just gimme a chance coach. I've got what it takes, I have...

Schwar... You didn't like xXx but you watch Dawson's Creek. Nuff said.

(Pansy) lol
Posted: Wed, 30th Oct 2002, 3:20pm

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Simon K Jones

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He's got a Dawson's Creek soundtrack CD in his car.
Posted: Wed, 30th Oct 2002, 5:42pm

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The Great One

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He prolly takes it to bed with him and kisses the picture of Dawson on it and calls him 'my buffsexyman' and stuff...

Freaky. crazy
Posted: Wed, 30th Oct 2002, 5:45pm

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Joshua Davies

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CD - belongs to Lyndsey (my lady)

I do not watch that shite anymore... I got over it. tard Anyway, most of the editing and camera work is better in Dawsons Creek than xXx so it wasn't a good example. wink

Lastly.....

ATTACK ME IF YOU DARE, I WILL CRUSH YOU! (and delete all your posts)
Posted: Wed, 30th Oct 2002, 6:08pm

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The Great One

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Are you man enough to fight with me?
Posted: Wed, 30th Oct 2002, 6:36pm

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Simon K Jones

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More to the point, are you enough of a man to fight a woman?
Posted: Wed, 30th Oct 2002, 6:47pm

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er-no

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Tarn wrote:

More to the point, are you enough of a man to fight a woman?
What do you mean by 'enough' of a man?

eek
Posted: Wed, 30th Oct 2002, 7:54pm

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Joshua Davies

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I think he is calling me fat again.

(schwar forgets to pay tarn this week)
Posted: Thu, 31st Oct 2002, 12:22am

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Rotting Bob

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I'm a woman and I'm man enough to fight you.......

which makes me a man.....

which I am.....

I am Sam......

Sam I am......

man.......

*Note to self THINK FIRST THEN TYPE........*

The Eye is a Japannese Horror film in the mode of The Ring but with a slightly higher budget and a bit of David Fincher style camera shenanagens thrown in to boot.....

Oh and Avalon's good too (live action film by the director of GHOST IN THE SHELL) pretty much as close to live action manga/ computer game as your gonna get..... KISSING JESSICA STIEN's a good rom com if anyone wants one'a them,

Y'TU MUMMA TAS TAMBIEN is one of the prettiest and nicest films of the year so far (surprisingly successful too), LOST IN LA MANCHA is a fantastic documentary just pipping SCRATCH and DOGTOWN (I think, it's funnier anyway and a good insight into the absoloute worst state that a film can ever get in to during production. The other two have better sountracks though). ALL ABOUT LILLY CHOU CHOU is the most beautiful film I have seen in ages if slightly slow and un-engaging and thats all I can think of at the moment.....but I digress


....FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT *Oh you want some do ya* FIGHT FIGHT *I'll take you all on and a packet of crisps to boot* FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT... etc etc etc
Posted: Thu, 31st Oct 2002, 12:55am

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Cypher

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anime and anything close to it is overrated...
Posted: Thu, 31st Oct 2002, 1:02am

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sidewinder

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Yeah, but there is some truly amazing art in a few of them.

Anyone see Akira? Sweet flick. zzzZZZZZZZ BAM! (doing my satellite attack impression).
Posted: Thu, 31st Oct 2002, 4:03am

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moebius

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Rotting Bob wrote:

The Eye is a Japannese Horror film in the mode of The Ring but with a slightly higher budget and a bit of David Fincher style camera shenanagens thrown in to boot.....
I may be mistaken, but I think 'The Eye' is actually a Mandarin film (Raintree's collaborative effort with Hongkong's Applause Pictures).
Posted: Thu, 31st Oct 2002, 2:49pm

Post 52 of 55

Rotting Bob

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You know Moebius you just might be right......

Doesn't change the fact that it's well worth seeing - especially if they screen it with the trailer that only got a very limited showing (in the UK anyway) because that is DAMN scary. eek
Posted: Thu, 31st Oct 2002, 3:07pm

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Sollthar

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intersting to see how subjects develop while a discussion is moving along... smile
Posted: Thu, 31st Oct 2002, 4:52pm

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moebius

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It's also interesting how 'scary' horror movies become laughably silly when viewed without sound lol I watched The Eye without audio and it was pretty hilarious lol
Posted: Thu, 31st Oct 2002, 4:59pm

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davlin

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"moe"...I'm getting very concerned about your viewing habits!!!!!!!!!....
NOOO!....SOUND! I wonder what it would be like if u turn off the picture as well...........most film critics are trained that way.......spooky.... lol lol

ol'dav