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Microsoft Works for you.

Posted: Sun, 9th Mar 2003, 8:44pm

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er-no

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Rating: +1

REDMOND, Wa -- March 9th, 2003 -- Microsoft announed today a new software package called currently Computer Response Automation Program, or C.R.A.P. This is a system for WinXP in which is automaticly chooses what you do and do not want to do. After watching you use your computer for one day it automaticly "learns" how to do what you do. This includes pressing certain buttons in dialog boxes, opening usual programs and entering in data.

Currently in its beta version, the users it is targetting for (Computer Idiots (All registered users of BOB)) have all had a similar reaction of liking the computer to make all of its decisions for them. "Its great to sit down and find out what my computer ordered me off of America On-Line!". Currently the only bug found in the system is that it will periodically sign you onto the Microsoft Network, and order random Microsoft products using your credit card. Microsoft commented by saying "We plan on making it a full feature by release time, which will be by April." Apple was asked for a comment on this new product and simply said "Hahahahaha". IBM refused to comment on the situation, fearing the press may bring up the OS/2 shenanigan. Most users of BOB and all users of WinXP will be eligable for this program, which will be supplied free of charge by Microsoft. It is bundled with a new version of Quicken, the popular money managment software, which is modified to work with C.R.A.P. The Justice Department will be investigating Microsoft on claims that the new Quicken allows Microsoft access to your bank accounts, Bill Gates commented on this with "Most users of [Win95] couldn't balance their checkbook if they tried, we are simply easing their life by controling their finances. Is that a crime?"

Microsoft stock jumped 253 points the same day that their beta versions of C.R.A.P. were installed on all NYSE computer terminals. Microsoft C.R.A.P. updates will soon be released free to all users on the Web or via free CDROM which installs itself. "It's like not having a computer, but having one. Truley amazing revolution in technology," A CNN analyst bought by Microsoft said, "It will revolutionize all of the revolutions in the revolutionary WinXP revolution in technology." Microsoft announced that C.R.A.P. will not be availible for the Macintosh system or WinNT because they are "too smart, we might get caught" said a contact inside Microsoft for the AP.

lol

*er-no jumps and gets a huge pot and begins to stir*
Posted: Sun, 9th Mar 2003, 9:21pm

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turbanator

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eeevviiiiilllll...........eeeeevvvviiiiillllll


razz
Posted: Sun, 9th Mar 2003, 9:23pm

Post 3 of 35

anonymous

turbanator wrote:



eeevviiiiilllll...........eeeeevvvviiiiillllll


razz
Holy crap! You spelt a word nearly right!

Well done.

A
Posted: Sun, 9th Mar 2003, 10:33pm

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MeetTheBeatles

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Oh er-no, I love it. One point for funny. You know, I think I'll take this opportunity to talk a little bit about the Mac.
Over the years, there have been more than a few misconceptions about Macs. Let?s take a look at some of the most popular ones.

Myth 1: Everyone uses Windows.
Fact: If you?re an accountant, you?re most likely surrounded by beige Wintel boxes. But if you work in nearly every creative field, you most likely use a Mac. Like in graphic arts, advertising and publishing. Or in Hollywood. Or in science-based industries like biotech. Or in education, where half of the computers are Apples. Or if you are President of the United States (our two most recent presidents, a Democrat and a Republican, both use Macs). Even 25% of America?s lawyers use Macs. In all, over 25 million people use Macs in their homes, offices and schools every day.

Myth 2: Macs don?t work with PCs.
Fact: Simply untrue. Every day millions of documents, emails and instant messages are sent between Macs and PCs. Word documents, Excel spreadsheets and PowerPoint presentations exchanged. Emails delivered and instant messages shuttled back and forth. This isn?t news because it happens silently, daily, with no fanfare. That?s because all Macs are designed to work seamlessly with PCs and connect into PC networks to easily access files and folders. The rest of the world should get along so well. Contrary to popular belief, Mac and Windows get along perfectly together. They run the same software. They talk to each other. It?s a small world after all.

Myth 3: The software I need isn?t available for Macs.
Fact: There are over 15,000 applications available for the Mac, in every category imaginable. Productivity programs from Microsoft Office to FileMaker. Design programs from Photoshop to Maya. Filmmaking tools from Final Cut Pro to After Effects. Finance programs from Quicken to MYOB. And games from The Sims to Tony Hawk. But if you do encounter that rare program which isn?t available for Mac, you can still run it right on your Mac using Virtual PC. Still think there?s something you?re missing? Go to apple.com and check for yourself. We promise not to say, ?we told you so.?

Myth 4: Macs don?t run Microsoft Office.
Fact: Quite the opposite. Not only does a brand new version of Microsoft Office run on the Mac, but ? Office v.X for Mac OS X is actually better than its Windows cousin, with features available only on the Mac. Microsoft Office documents are fully compatible between Mac and Windows. So when you create an Excel spreadsheet or a Word document or a PowerPoint presentation on a Mac, you can send it to someone with a PC and it will open perfectly. And vice versa.

Myth 5: Windows has caught up with the Mac.
Fact: It can?t be denied that Microsoft has made a good business out of copying the innovative Mac OS. And, truth be told, Windows XP is their best effort to date. But Mac OS X has sent them back to the drawing boards. Particularly with respect to graphics, everything digital (like music, movies and photography), ease of use and elegance. In other words, all the things that make a state-of-the-art operating system, well, state-of-the-art. And we?re not the only ones who think so. Consider critics like the Detroit Free Press, who recently proclaimed: ?The new OS X for Mac runs circles around Windows XP.? Or ZDNet?s David Coursey, who praises Mac OS X as ?The nicest operating system I?ve ever seen.?

Myth 6: Macs are far easier to use than PCs. Guilty as charged.

Cheers
razz
Posted: Mon, 10th Mar 2003, 3:12am

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Ice_Man

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Ugg.
I'm too tired to start in on this right now. . .
quite frankly I've stopped caring who likes what type of computer. . . or who thinks what is easier to use. it's all a matter of personal experience and preference. . .

I would like to congratulate er-no on a cleverly concocted (or found) story.

meetthebeatles - Mac myth number 7 : PC's can't work audio/visual projects as well as macs can
False : http://www.digitalvideoediting.com/2002/05_may/features/cw_aeshowdown.htm
Posted: Mon, 10th Mar 2003, 3:10pm

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turbanator

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Anonymous wrote:

turbanator wrote:



eeevviiiiilllll...........eeeeevvvviiiiillllll


razz
Holy crap! You spelt a word nearly right!

Well done.

A
lol pussy, sigh in next time..........even thogh its probebly Er-No.. twisted
Posted: Wed, 3rd Mar 2004, 1:28am

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DigiSm89

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I agree with Ice_Man that the whole Mac vs PC debate is extremely annoying. Just go with whatever you like and you'll be fine. I do however have to say 2 things:

1.) Macs can be hacked and do have some security holes, probably not as lethal as those found on windows (though, I'm not sure about now). A reason why people don't bother trying to hack Macs is because they're the smaller market. Why spend time searching the internet for a Macintosh when you can easily find a PC to take advantage of. Will hacking into a Mac be beneficial in any way?

2.)PCs have come quite far to have matched up to Macs in the graphical arts field. Think about it, macs are extremely expensive and it is possible to create the same type of configuration on a PC for only about $1500~$2000. PCs are way cheaper than Macs and you have more options because so many companies maufacture PCs.
Posted: Wed, 3rd Mar 2004, 1:43am

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Aculag

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Why did this turn into a PC/Mac debate?
Posted: Wed, 3rd Mar 2004, 2:11am

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DigiSm89

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lol. One person writes something and it leads to a chain of discussion. It would be nice to clear this debate, however, we could always come up with the conclusion: choose what you like.
Posted: Wed, 3rd Mar 2004, 2:32am

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er-no

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MacOS > Windows
Posted: Wed, 3rd Mar 2004, 2:45am

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DigiSm89

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haha, see what I mean. The main idea is to choose what you are most familiar with. sleep I am too tired to go over the details of why I think Windows is better than Macs.

I'll do that tomorrow. wink
Posted: Wed, 3rd Mar 2004, 3:37am

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Aculag

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If I chose what I was familiar with, I'd still be using windows. I chose what suited me best.
Posted: Wed, 3rd Mar 2004, 6:16am

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elementcinema

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GO PC! nah im just kiddin..personally i dont really care about either one..they both do the same jobs right?

i find it funny how you guys CANT stay on topic lol.. biggrin I would like to see one topic like this but it to stay ON topic and no de-rail..
Posted: Wed, 3rd Mar 2004, 12:46pm

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DigiSm89

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Heh, even er-no, the author of this topic went off.
Posted: Wed, 3rd Mar 2004, 3:32pm

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er-no

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DigiSm89 wrote:

Heh, even er-no, the author of this topic went off.
That was the point of this topic.
Look at the bottom of the first post.
Posted: Wed, 3rd Mar 2004, 4:33pm

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Aculag

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elementcinema wrote:

i find it funny how you guys CANT stay on topic lol.. biggrin I would like to see one topic like this but it to stay ON topic and no de-rail..
I find it funny that in EVERY topic where there's any sort of conversation going on, you say "you guys". As if you're some spectator and you come in to commentate on the subjects, or something.

Because I think that by your saying "you guys" you are referring to every member here, excluding yourself. No?

Heh, oh well.
Posted: Wed, 3rd Mar 2004, 8:02pm

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Narluin Arthalion

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Well this is a twist. I agree with aculag on something(no offence). And I'll add to this. All posts on all websites change subject slightly at some point. This actually happens in face2face conversation. You talk about one subject and that reminds you of another thing that happened. And then that gives your friend or whoever your talking to a creative (or not so creative) idea and then you get on to that subject. I see it all the time. That is what conversation is.
Another thing to say is that all computer games that I've seen always say on their website "Example game for PC, Available for purchase at your favorite game retailers. MAC version will soon be available." People who use MAC have to wait longer for games. And whats more. The expansion pac comes out for the PC version before the MAC version gets the orginal out. Well remember this MAC users. Patience is a very important virtue....
Wait a minute.... Does that make PC users the Sith then since we choose the quick and easy path?....
Posted: Thu, 4th Mar 2004, 3:03am

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DigiSm89

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I think it's fine that people can get off topic because then our community grows more prospectively in that regard. It's good to keep talking to one another, even if what you are talking about is off topic, however, this should all happen after the original post is answered or responded to.

DigiSm89 wrote:

DigiSm89 wrote:
Heh, even er-no, the author of this topic went off.


That was the point of this topic.
Look at the bottom of the first post.
If that was the point of this topic, then why are we even bothering to talk about off-topicness in the first place? crazy
Posted: Thu, 4th Mar 2004, 3:08am

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Aculag

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Narluin, since when have we disagreed on anything? Is it just that you don't agree with things I say all the time, but don't say anything about it?
Posted: Fri, 5th Mar 2004, 2:27am

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jaycoolyea

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it is sort of ironic that people are complaining about members who keep going off topic in posts. doesnt that make your post off-topic?

instead of complaining here, follow your own 'guidelines' and post a seperate topic about going off topic.

hypocrites....



(people realize that i, in fact went off-topic complaining about people who keep complaining about people who keep going off topic.)
Posted: Fri, 5th Mar 2004, 3:17pm

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DigiSm89

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that's a really good point.
Posted: Fri, 5th Mar 2004, 9:09pm

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sidewinder

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Who gives a damn about the OS? It's the hardware and available sofware that matter.

There are more than 15,000 programs available for mac? 3dsmax isn't. Most games aren't.

Also, PC hardware is super cheap, and FASTER. I can go to the store and buy a new, bigger harddrive for peanuts. I can't easily and cheaply replace the harddrive on a mac. Nor can I buy one at Office Max, Best Buy, Circuit City, etc. I have to order online, or drive for an hour to get to the Apple store.
Posted: Fri, 5th Mar 2004, 9:34pm

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er-no

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Final Cut Pro is the best non-linear editing software there is (in my opinion). The MacOS hardly ever crashes no matter how cruely I treat it. All the programs I have for my PC & Mac.. well they are just nicer and faster to use on my Mac.

Therefore, Mac gets my vote.
Posted: Fri, 5th Mar 2004, 9:34pm

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Joshua Davies

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Just to point some simple things out...

PC hard drives are the same as Mac and they are normally easier to fit in a Mac because of better case design. They are always quicker and easier to install and format.

Apple might be buying out the graphics division of Discreet (and 3dsmax is coming to Mac anyway apparently). The Mac has maya anyway if you are looking for a 3D program. Equally the PC doesn't have FCP which is about as good as editing gets on a personal computer so its not like the PC has everything the Mac does either.

The After Effects article was well out of date and if you want to get serious use something like Shake (also Apple, used in LOTR) for your compositing - best on a G5.

Yes Macs are too expensive and have hardly any games. While PCs are cheap they are not faster than Macs. As a single workstation you don't get much faster than a G5 without spending mad money. A dual 3GHz Xeon can't match the realtime performance of the dual G5 2GHz. Still it is very expensive.

In the end the world is a better place with both machines, but PC users should not think that as most DTP and Graphics programs are now on the PC that the Mac doesn't have a market anymore.

The Mac continues to offer better performance and a better workflow for graphics/dtp and video work and with the introduction of Mac OS X it also has a distinctly better OS.

Apple continues to push computer design and processor speed keeping Intel and large PC companies on their toes. We must also remember that Apple is a huge company, 3rd or 4th biggest computer manufacturer in the world. It is also one of the only computer makers in almost constant profit at the moment with a huge amount of cash in the bank. It is also very closely linked to Pixar and Hollywood in general.

Apple are a very strong company now, and have top of the line computers and software. There is no Mac vs PC debate, its just silly. Try Apple vs Dell or Apple vs HP and you will see just how powerful and successful Apple is now. It provides fantastic software and a great platform to run it on.
Posted: Fri, 5th Mar 2004, 11:03pm

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fallen

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A) You get what you pay for. Macs cost more, but give you more (d0ze users, before you complain try using one)

B) OSX has as many security holes as Unix/Linux (being based on unix) and Windows, but D0ze users have their head so far up Bill Gate's ass they can't see them to take advantage of them.

Plain and simple.
Posted: Fri, 5th Mar 2004, 11:45pm

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DigiSm89

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Just out of curiosity, how many people in the world actually need/use so much power. For pure home users, gamers, etc, you really don't need more than a 2G at max. My P4 2GHz works fine and is never slow, even when playing games like Halo, although I haven't really tried the other more CPU intensive games. For graphics/video, Macs are the way to go (if you are serious in movie making and video IMO).

I really don't think that a regular home user or even a typical business would need so much power and that is probably one of the facts that more people buy PCs over Macs. OS really comes later in the decision process and is often used to coverup the real reason with things like "I'll buy a dell cause windows is a better OS than Macs" when in reality the reason is "I'll buy a dell because Dell's are way cheaper and have better deals than Macs"

This is all just my opinion...


Fallen: I have tried a Mac once. In fact, I grew up using Macs and then switched over to PCs because I felt that at the time (a month before Win 98 was going to be released), windows opened up a world to more oppurtunities. I admit, I haven't really tried a G5 fully. I can't get one because it's just too expensive to buy and if I do get one, I probably won't have so much use for it as I don't make movies that often.

I'm not really being bias toward Macs. I just favor Windows more, probably because I like how Microsoft integrates everything and I just like Microsoft in general. And also, I somehow keep getting the feeling that in the future, the ratio between Windows users and Mac users will be greater, more in the favor of Windows. But all in all, I really don't have so much of an reason for choosing Windows over Macs. I chose whatever I'm more familiar with.

Just to point this out, we have officially gone off topic....
Posted: Fri, 5th Mar 2004, 11:59pm

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Mellifluous

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Likewise, I love Macs, & would gladly embrace them if they dominated the market.

But everythings so PC (but not necessarily Windows) orientated & optimised, that I feel that only by using PCs can I have the full freedom of choosing the optimum performance for my system, & upgrade when I want/need etc. I feel Macs don't offer that (yet).

It's a bit like religion. I like the sound of it but don't feel I need it in my life... smile
Posted: Sat, 6th Mar 2004, 12:02am

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DigiSm89

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how upgradeable are Macs btw? they really don't seem so upgradeable. It feels more like you're stuck with what you get and can only do minor upgrades like RAM, etc.
Posted: Sat, 6th Mar 2004, 1:33am

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Joshua Davies

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In most ways they you can upgrade them just like PC, appart from the motherboard, but Apple motherboards tend to be fully loaded from the start so it doesn't matter.
Posted: Sat, 6th Mar 2004, 1:40am

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DigiSm89

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Ok, cool. I was always under the impression that they weren't as upgradeable as PCs. Thanks for clarrifying.
Posted: Sat, 6th Mar 2004, 1:54am

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Joshua Davies

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The upgrade market isn't big on the Mac for several reasons.

1. You can't build your own Mac from parts in the first place so the components are not all as easy to come by (although many main components are shared with PCs these days).

2. PPC processors are very expensive to purchase in low numbers - for instance the amounts that processor upgrade people buy them in at.

3. Apple has the pick of the fastest PPC chips, the ones that upgrade makers get tend to be the previous revisions so normally slower.

4. Mac systems tend to be quite balanced and well prepared for the jobs they are commonly used for (graphics work and video), you don't often feel your processor is slowing down the gfx card and things like that. The normal things you want to upgrade are simple things like RAM or HD space.

5. Macs are not games computers and, to be honest, most of the time people upgrade their PC for better games performance.

6. New Macs tend to have new innovations - to keep people buying new systems rather than wanting to upgrade Apple always try to be the first to impliment new technology in to off-the-shelf equipment (64 bit processors, firewire 400/800, DVDR).

For the reasons above (and many more) there has never been a huge upgrade culture with Macs. There are people who do (check http://www.xlr8yourmac.com ) but its generally the case that the machines runs fine and the only reason you have for upgrading is that you see something new and stunning, its only when you run that new system you realise how slow and out-of-date your 2 years old Mac has become.

All this means more money for Apple, but they spend a huge amount in R&D and the development of a PPC compatible components. This is of benefit to both the Mac and PC world with Apple making the best cross platform video solution in Quicktime and the best portable music player in the iPod and, of course, the way most of you connect your video camera to your computer - Firewire (iLink IEEE1394).
Posted: Fri, 12th Mar 2004, 7:54pm

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Narluin Arthalion

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I say that you get what you pay for at the start. But when it comes to upgrading and adding new hardware(used to add more hard drive space, RAM, speed) it all just depends how much you invest into which ever computer you have.

A new unupgraded MAC might be a little more advanced than a new unupgraded PC, but it costs more. A new PC is cheaper and is good for a smaller start for those short on cash to begin with, but a few details are not as good as a new MAC. They both have PROs and CONs.

Once you start upgrading that is where the real factor begins. Whether it is MAC or PC your upgrading is ballanced only by your wallet. So neither is a better brand of computers.

The games detail I mentioned is probably just a result of "most" people buying the cheaper system. The games are made for the bigger amount of customers first. If Mac was the one that most people owned then they would get the games out first. In the Gaming Industies eyes " The need of games for the Many outway the need of games for the Few".
Posted: Fri, 12th Mar 2004, 8:59pm

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DigiSm89

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Apple really doesn't have a big target in the first place. They make systems taht are really suitable for video editing, movie production, the ILM kinda stuff. Because of that, they are a much smaller market than windows based pc which are meant for genera purpose (mostly consumers and business professionals) Not many people in the world are movie editors so the ratio greatly affects Apple distribution.

Hmmm, I thought we had stopped this debate awhile ago.... smile I guess people still have more to say about the comparison between windows and macs. Can't wait until Longhorn comes out. That will definitely be a successful OS. "...Microsoft's first successful product." Ummm, I think Windows 2K Pro was pretty successful, despite the many security flaws. Around 78% of world corporation use Win2K and many still haven't switched to XP (thank god, cause XP sux).
Posted: Thu, 1st Apr 2004, 6:35am

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Ice_Man

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well, that article wasn't out of date when it was posted. more than a year ago.
anyway.
after spending the better part of a decade in the educational aspect of film and video production, I still personally prefer working on a PC. (well, I'm just going to forget that period of my life when Premier 6.5 was around). I love Adobe Premiere Pro. I feel that I can work 'my magic' ( razz ) faster in it than I could in Final Cut Pro (granted, I haven't made widespread use of FCP for production purposes in almost a year). And for the money, Premiere Pro performs better on my PC than it does on my friend's G5. could just be familiarity with the Windows Environment, I don't know, and at this point, I'll never be able to tell. I can't bring myself to justify spending 2 to 3 times what I spent on my PC for a Mac. simple as that. the performance / price ratio wasn't good enough for me. plus, (as Mel said) I have a little more freedom to do what I want with it.

whoever it was, I don't recall right now (and am too lazy to go back and look), please don't use Dells or Gateways as your point of reference for the 'IBM compatible' machines. Dell and Gateway are the bane of the computer enthusiast's existence.

in reference to Mac's upgrade-ability and\or expandability - true, Mac hard drives are nothing more than Serial ATA hard drives. but that doesn't mean that you can drop any old SATA drive in there and get the same performance. I'll take my SCSI RAID set anyday.
I'm not personally impressed by the boasted 1 GHz front side bus speed. none of the other components in the computer are up to that yet anyway. It's like the retarded ATA 100/133. they don't actually run that fast , "but in theory they could"!

I don't know. go with whatever makes your nipples hard. I'm a PC kind of guy, but y'all have fun with your expensive G5's. Best of luck to all of you.
Posted: Thu, 1st Apr 2004, 6:40am

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Ice_Man

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oh, and by the by, anyone know who makes the SATA drives in the G5s?